Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Sweet action for kids 'n' cretins. Marjoram and capers.
tepista
User avatar
Foul-Mouthed Werewolf
Posts: 37871
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:25am
Location: Livin on a fault line, Waiting on the big one

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by tepista »

Rat Patrol wrote:http://americablog.com/2014/01/woman-st ... -beer.html

Christmas in the Beaneater family wasn't so peaceful this year.
It's not Christmas without beer. But next year they can say it's not Christmas without cops.
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

http://dicksbymail.com/

Give the gift of love this holiday season.

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »


Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115994
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »



I hedged on posting in the "FAO Flex" thread for a second...but then thought, "Why not both?" :idea: :hmm:

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

At my parents' house...and my Mom has Pandora randomly picking Xmas music on the stereo.

We are now in the second hour of "A Hipster Christmas." X( ¹⁹⁸⁹

Everything sounds like those twee "oh-oh oh" singers on the Oversock.com commercials, and has completely inappropriate instrumentals...like, banjo on "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies", a New Orleans jazz "Hallelujah Chorus", the whitest-reggae "Blue Christmas" ever (but still with the faux-Elvis vox), and so many different versions of "Baby Its Cold Outside" I'm in mortal terror that somebody has spiked my cup of Dunkies with PBR that's been spiked with roofies and is about to beardrape me fedora-first.


Please kill me. For all that is humane and un-ironic, please.

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

Update:

So after enough anguished wailing in protest, I got them to turn off the twee Portlandia channel. But not before having to thumbs-down the "Best of Christmas 70's", "Best of Christmas 80's", "Best of Christmas 90's", "Christmas Duets", "Christmas Coffee Shop", and "The Whitest R&B Christmas That Ever Was White, Featuring Very Very White People Covering That One Mariah Carey Song" channels. I finally gave up at the "An Electronic Christmas" channel, since the featured artist was something called the Berlin Orchestra...and that struck me as something that would be a twee-free zone. Maybe even an asteroid strike's odds of catching a fleeting Bowie '76 moment.


Well...I was half-right. It wasn't twee. It wasn't Bowie-esque, either. It was, as it turned out, quite very Olaf.

So, in short, I now know what the Scrap Dealer Flautist Chorale sounds like playing keytars splitternackt on a children's carousel. Know it forever. :twitch:

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

Final observations, now that the Pandora has been shut off and the TV has come on to watch Ralphie shoot his eye out again:


"So this is what registered Democrats listen to the whole month before they go out and vote for 4 more years of tyrrany, huh?"

:(

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115994
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Rat Patrol wrote:Final observations, now that the Pandora has been shut off and the TV has come on to watch Ralphie shoot his eye out again:


"So this is what registered Democrats listen to the whole month before they go out and vote for 4 more years of tyrrany, huh?"

:(
Leo Sayer?
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

It's almost that time of year again. . .


Marky Dread
User avatar
Messiah of the Milk Bar
Posts: 58887
Joined: 17 Jun 2008, 11:26am

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Marky Dread »

Rat Patrol wrote:
18 Nov 2017, 11:48am
It's almost that time of year again. . .

I read about this yesterday and thought great stuff. Didn't go down too well though. :shifty:
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

Marky Dread
User avatar
Messiah of the Milk Bar
Posts: 58887
Joined: 17 Jun 2008, 11:26am

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Marky Dread »

Image
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

tepista
User avatar
Foul-Mouthed Werewolf
Posts: 37871
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:25am
Location: Livin on a fault line, Waiting on the big one

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by tepista »

A lot of the original pics aren't showing so I Googled "Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks" for a reminder, and a bunch of photos of Liz Montgomery came up. IMCT changes the world.

Image
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115994
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Image
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Spiff
User avatar
Mostly Nekkid
Posts: 4385
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:23am
Location: In the Spiff Bunker

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Spiff »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
30 Nov 2017, 8:20am
Image
The fuckers deserved it.
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?

-- There's no fairytale ending with cocaine.

Post Reply