The Future of the Republican Party

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Dr. Medulla
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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/3600 ... oore-after

37% of Alabama evangelicals are more inclined—more inclined—to vote for Moore in light of the accusations. And 34% say the accusations change nothing in terms of their vote. Thus, 7 out of 10 Alabama evangelicals are morally cancerous human beings, with half of those definitely deserving the eternal fires of hell that their faith teaches them.
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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
12 Nov 2017, 3:20pm
http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/3600 ... oore-after

37% of Alabama evangelicals are more inclined—more inclined—to vote for Moore in light of the accusations. And 34% say the accusations change nothing in terms of their vote. Thus, 7 out of 10 Alabama evangelicals are morally cancerous human beings, with half of those definitely deserving the eternal fires of hell that their faith teaches them.
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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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It absolutely seems inconceivable to me that Moore will lose the election, but if this polling holds up through Dec. 12th and isn't an outlier, I'll be happy to be proven wrong: https://www.politico.com/story/2017/11/ ... oll-244937
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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Flex wrote:
15 Nov 2017, 4:06pm
It absolutely seems inconceivable to me that Moore will lose the election, but if this polling holds up through Dec. 12th and isn't an outlier, I'll be happy to be proven wrong: https://www.politico.com/story/2017/11/ ... oll-244937
There's still almost a month for the inevitable "8-year-olds, dude" story to finally be a deal-breaker for the Alabammy electorate. There's no effing way this torrent of bad news stops at only five accusers.

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Rat Patrol wrote:
15 Nov 2017, 6:08pm
There's still almost a month for the inevitable "8-year-olds, dude" story to finally be a deal-breaker for the Alabammy electorate. There's no effing way this torrent of bad news stops at only five accusers.
On the other hand, a month seems like plenty of time for those "undecideds" to rationalize that the 8 year was dressed too provocatively and had it coming.
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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Nov 2017, 5:17pm
Alabama is such a garbage place.
http://thehill.com/campaign-polls/36230 ... m-opponent
These assholes really are going all-in on their pedophile apologia. I usually try not to vilify entire areas/states unfairly, but that's a state that really needs to be burned to the ground.
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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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I have a dilemma. My engineer bro and his wife who I've met a grand total of 4 times and talked to for roughly 37 cumulative minutes since his biological clock struck "Time to Breed" 2 years ago are supposed to be coming up to visit my folks for Xmas. She's a proud daughter of Birmingham. And as far as I can tell is mostly dead-centrist politically...i.e. rabidly left when grading on an Alabama curve, but still unable to say the words H______ C______ out loud without making a "Who farted, y'all" icky-poo face out of reflexive upbringing. Which would've made the mental picture of her actually voting last Fall for HRC into a 20-minute exercise in facial-contorting self-harm. Oh, and it's also clear she holds deep shame about some of her "suburban" extended family's political views...like, DEEP shame...though so far she's been too nice and/or not-drunk-enough in mixed company to actually scratch that itch and blurt out "Now, my dumbshit Uncle Rex, on the other hand. . . "

How mercilessly should I mock her for this, since Christmas will be less than 2 weeks after this election? Like...harder than I mocked her last year when she showed up all excited after being promised a first-ever demonstration on how a snowblower worked? 'Cause I seriously rolled around laughing hysterically at her that time, then milked the "...and this is where you stick your arm when it gets stuck full of ice" bit into the ground like the Yankee asshole I was born/bred to be.

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Rat Patrol wrote:
29 Nov 2017, 5:43pm
I have a dilemma. My engineer bro and his wife who I've met a grand total of 4 times and talked to for roughly 37 cumulative minutes since his biological clock struck "Time to Breed" 2 years ago are supposed to be coming up to visit my folks for Xmas. She's a proud daughter of Birmingham. And as far as I can tell is mostly dead-centrist politically...i.e. rabidly left when grading on an Alabama curve, but still unable to say the words H______ C______ out loud without making a "Who farted, y'all" icky-poo face out of reflexive upbringing. Which would've made the mental picture of her actually voting last Fall for HRC into a 20-minute exercise in facial-contorting self-harm. Oh, and it's also clear she holds deep shame about some of her "suburban" extended family's political views...like, DEEP shame...though so far she's been too nice and/or not-drunk-enough in mixed company to actually scratch that itch and blurt out "Now, my dumbshit Uncle Rex, on the other hand. . . "

How mercilessly should I mock her for this, since Christmas will be less than 2 weeks after this election? Like...harder than I mocked her last year when she showed up all excited after being promised a first-ever demonstration on how a snowblower worked? 'Cause I seriously rolled around laughing hysterically at her that time, then milked the "...and this is where you stick your arm when it gets stuck full of ice" bit into the ground like the Yankee asshole I was born/bred to be.
If she demonstrates no shame over her people's behaviour—btw, are they living there?—then she merits all the abuse you can muster. Events like these are simple moral tests, yet the surprise is how many people fail. And deserve to be mocked for their failure to be decent people.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Nov 2017, 6:01pm
Rat Patrol wrote:
29 Nov 2017, 5:43pm
I have a dilemma. My engineer bro and his wife who I've met a grand total of 4 times and talked to for roughly 37 cumulative minutes since his biological clock struck "Time to Breed" 2 years ago are supposed to be coming up to visit my folks for Xmas. She's a proud daughter of Birmingham. And as far as I can tell is mostly dead-centrist politically...i.e. rabidly left when grading on an Alabama curve, but still unable to say the words H______ C______ out loud without making a "Who farted, y'all" icky-poo face out of reflexive upbringing. Which would've made the mental picture of her actually voting last Fall for HRC into a 20-minute exercise in facial-contorting self-harm. Oh, and it's also clear she holds deep shame about some of her "suburban" extended family's political views...like, DEEP shame...though so far she's been too nice and/or not-drunk-enough in mixed company to actually scratch that itch and blurt out "Now, my dumbshit Uncle Rex, on the other hand. . . "

How mercilessly should I mock her for this, since Christmas will be less than 2 weeks after this election? Like...harder than I mocked her last year when she showed up all excited after being promised a first-ever demonstration on how a snowblower worked? 'Cause I seriously rolled around laughing hysterically at her that time, then milked the "...and this is where you stick your arm when it gets stuck full of ice" bit into the ground like the Yankee asshole I was born/bred to be.
If she demonstrates no shame over her people's behaviour—btw, are they living there?—then she merits all the abuse you can muster. Events like these are simple moral tests, yet the surprise is how many people fail. And deserve to be mocked for their failure to be decent people.

They're relocating from Orlando to...[*sad trombone*]...Atlanta on January 1. And not, like, downtown Atlanta where there are things to do and a somewhat useful rail transit system and actual black people to interact with non-threateningly...but literally in the farthest-flung corner 2 blocks inside the geographical city line before it bleeds out into endless, relentlessly white suburban sprawl. The sound wall from the beltway that jams with traffic every night from people going out to watch the Barves play at new Waffle House Stadium is almost in sight of their new house. So, pure suburban hell Atlanta. But they're both getting raises to go out there so they'll have even more senseless income they're too bored to spend.

One of the "prime" attractions is that travel time to Birmingham to visit her family has been cut down to a 4-hour drive on I-20 from 8+ or whatever it took when they visited from Orlando, so it is closer to home. Yes, she is thoroughly "of" Alabama. Ridiculous accent and all. It does need to be qualified that Birmingham being a big college town makes it a shitload less regressive than the rest of the state (Birmingham = great big light-blue Jefferson County; Montgomery is the even bluer county 2 hours south). But in the real world that pretty much makes her an HRC voter with a very good poker face in public, urban-seasoned enough from time spent in urban Birmingham and at her current job as nurse practitioner in an urban walk-in clinic to not have overpowering fear of a black planet, and...yes...the barely-concealed family shame. Because I am willing to put good money that some male member of her extended family tried to paint a milquetoast defense of Moore over Thanksgiving dinner after having too much to drink, and probably got paid back for it by the women slipping something in his food.

I met most of their family at the wedding last year. Her mom's side is very gracious and welcoming...all about southern hospitality. Dad's side from what I could gather mostly just wear their brain slugs for the complete duration of Auburn football season and have no other interests in life, politics, or the world at large. I'm not sure if that makes them the state's silent majority or if they're just part of the giant inert mass that doesn't respond to polls or ever bothers to vote because elections always fall in the middle of SEC conference season...leaving just the crazies who spend too much time in church to make up the voter rolls. They're definitely thoroughly Alabaman because of the way they drool from the sides of their mouths all day every Saturday while parked motionlessly in front of the TV. :meh:



I have a problem of there being WAY TOO MUCH to mock...like, water water everywhere...but also having enough of a conscience inside my cold black heart because she seems from lack of any fresh evidence to the contrary to be a stand-up individual I could get used to having as sister-in-law if there was ever some non-rushed time to actually get to hang out. And she doesn't seem like she suffers fools highly, which I kinda respect. Damn conscience! I get Alabama served to me straight on a silver platter and can't use it! :angry:

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Ugh. I have plenty of conservative people in my family, but they're (duh) Canadian conservatives, which means they're mostly to the left of the Clinton wing of the Democratic Party. I can have semi-sensible conversations with them without being appalled by what comes out of their mouth. Hell, as often as not, it's my social democrat relatives that raise my ire with *their* holier than thou perspective.

(Re. suburban Atlanta. David Cross once described it as "staying white out later" than most places.)
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Dr. Medulla wrote:
29 Nov 2017, 7:01pm
Ugh. I have plenty of conservative people in my family, but they're (duh) Canadian conservatives, which means they're mostly to the left of the Clinton wing of the Democratic Party. I can have semi-sensible conversations with them without being appalled by what comes out of their mouth. Hell, as often as not, it's my social democrat relatives that raise my ire with *their* holier than thou perspective.

(Re. suburban Atlanta. David Cross once described it as "staying white out later" than most places.)
Welp...I guess we're just going to have to ask the cousin who drives a municipal plow truck for some faceless CT 'burb to show up with his truck and give the ol' "...and this is the move to pull for knocking down the mailboxes of people who don't tip well enough" demo to see how far we can work that gag to her amazement this year. Unfortunately my brother hates being anywhere near the vicinity of Boston so they'll never come visit me here and give me the chance to give them a personal clinic in driving like a black-belt Masshole ( --> :curses1: ), so we have to milk that "spiteful natives' horrible behavior around winter weather" like a well-worn crutch to get our kicks messing with her extremely Southern head.

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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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Is there any way we could convince Vietnam to take back McCain?
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Re: The Future of the Republican Party

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eumaas wrote:
30 Nov 2017, 8:39pm
Is there any way we could convince Vietnam to take back McCain?
this is the burn that i've needed today
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle - you can raise the dead

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