The Challenge Thread

[Dr. Medulla]

Gene - “Always Near You / Nowhere To Hide.” You’re killing me here. A stalker anthem. The music, like that Peter Criss songs, sounds like incidental stuff from a tv drama. Maybe montages of Steve Austin looking for Jaime Sommers. No, wait, at the end it turns into Gene’s idea of gospel. I guess the best part is all the angry KISS fans who bought this and knew they weren’t getting their $7.99 back. And the completists who had to also buy it on cassette and then cd, hating themselves for their obsession. So it’s not all bad.

STD rating: Genital warts … everywhere.

[Heston]

Gene - “Always Near You / Nowhere To Hide.” You’re killing me here. A stalker anthem. The music, like that Peter Criss songs, sounds like incidental stuff from a tv drama. Maybe montages of Steve Austin looking for Jaime Sommers. No, wait, at the end it turns into Gene’s idea of gospel. I guess the best part is all the angry KISS fans who bought this and knew they weren’t getting their $7.99 back. And the completists who had to also buy it on cassette and then cd, hating themselves for their obsession. So it’s not all bad.

STD rating: Genital warts … everywhere.

I was crying listening to the gospel bit at the end.

[Dr. Medulla]

KISS - “Hard Times.” More gritty urban reality. “Everyday life in the cit-ay.” So were they competing with the Clash for fans with this stuff? Sorry, KISS is about stupid adolescent fantasies, not corny social realism. I know I keep saying this, but it’s competent bar band stuff. This isn’t music that inspires you want to form a band; it’s what you resign yourself to playing if you want to get that Thursday night slot at Shooters in Topeka.

STD rating: Lymphogranuloma Venereum (look it up, kids).

Thank fuck you didn’t force “I Was Made For Lovin’ You” on me.

[Dr. Medulla]

Okay, what do I win?

[Heston]

Okay, what do I win?

Some imitation crab ointment.

Thanks Doc, I'd like to see others throwing down the gauntlet with some music that is out of another person's ballpark.

[Dr. Medulla]

Okay, what do I win?

Some imitation crab ointment.

Thanks Doc, I'd like to see others throwing down the gauntlet with some music that is out of another person's ballpark.

Yup, someone please step up, keep this train rolling.

[revbob]

Okay, what do I win?

Some imitation crab ointment.

Thanks Doc, I'd like to see others throwing down the gauntlet with some music that is out of another person's ballpark.

Does it need to be painful?

But seriously I know we all kid you Heston but you don't really like that stuff do you? I know Doc truly loves the Swans.

[Dr. Medulla]

Does it need to be painful?

There are no rules. Heston and I did it our way because we hate each other as the colonized and imperialist must despise one another.

[Heston]

Okay, what do I win?

Some imitation crab ointment.

Thanks Doc, I'd like to see others throwing down the gauntlet with some music that is out of another person's ballpark.

Does it need to be painful?

But seriously I know we all kid you Heston but you don't really like that stuff do you? I know Doc truly loves the Swans.

I know it's shit but I can't help liking it. It's like my brain was hard wired into them at 11 and I can't be cured.

[Rat Patrol]

This thread:

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[Wolter]

KISS - “Shandi.” Okay, I know this one. I’ve laughed at this one many times. This song would be great if you were 13 and with your first girlfriend who thought it was deep. But I’m not 13 and hoping that I might touch my first boob after the junior high dance. And what the fuck is with the drums on this album? There’s a real allergy to snares. Anyway, once you hit 14 there is no reason to tolerate this, let alone be a bunch of ugly old clumps of hair performing it.

STD rating: Gonorrhea, painful to urinate, seeing whether there’s an all-hours clinic nearby.

Well Wolter likes it.

Clearly you've eaten tainted condom meat if you think I like that song.

[gkbill]

Hello,

The next Challenge: rate the songs using only STD's Gene hasn't had.

[Dr. Medulla]

Hello,

The next Challenge: rate the songs using only STD's Gene hasn't had.

So, full-blown AIDS and … ?

[Wolter]

Hello,

The next Challenge: rate the songs using only STD's Gene hasn't had.

So, full-blown AIDS and … ?

Is there an STD that makes you into a decent person that writes good music? Because he's clearly immune to that one.

[Kory]

Hello,

The next Challenge: rate the songs using only STD's Gene hasn't had.

So, full-blown AIDS and … ?

Is there an STD that makes you into a decent person that writes good music? Because he's clearly immune to that one.

Are we talking about Simmons, or Eumaas?