Shamerd my assgerfed

Sweet action for kids 'n' cretins. Marjoram and capers.
tosh
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by tosh »

Damn this thread is even worse than i remembered.

Rat Patrol
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Rat Patrol »

tosh wrote:
04 Feb 2017, 1:07am
Damn this thread is even worse than i remembered.
Pity poor you, clicking on the thread explicitly titled for tales of shitfaced whimsy like you were forced at gunpoint. Go bump the long-buried pedantic beersnob thead if you prefer a sandbox where no fun is ever allowed. :rolleyes:

Silent Majority
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Silent Majority »

I'm taking the train from Birmingham to London to visit family and it has a bar - well, a place that sells coffee, sandwiches, soft drinks and, it supposes, alcohol. I've made about four more visits than a rational person would and made the nice lady behind the counter laugh genuinely and hard so she bought me a whiskey. Better get a coffee before I see my Ma, cos this train has got me daytime drunk.
a lifetime serving one machine
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revbob
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by revbob »

Silent Majority wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 10:22am
I'm taking the train from Birmingham to London to visit family and it has a bar - well, a place that sells coffee, sandwiches, soft drinks and, it supposes, alcohol. I've made about four more visits than a rational person would and made the nice lady behind the counter laugh genuinely and hard so she bought me a whiskey. Better get a coffee before I see my Ma, cos this train has got me daytime drunk.
Daytime drunk is cool, it's the dinner time hangover that sucks.

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Dr. Medulla »

revbob wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 5:33pm
Silent Majority wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 10:22am
I'm taking the train from Birmingham to London to visit family and it has a bar - well, a place that sells coffee, sandwiches, soft drinks and, it supposes, alcohol. I've made about four more visits than a rational person would and made the nice lady behind the counter laugh genuinely and hard so she bought me a whiskey. Better get a coffee before I see my Ma, cos this train has got me daytime drunk.
Daytime drunk is cool, it's the dinner time hangover that sucks.
I think I've told this story before, but I met an old guy who was basically Don Draper in the 60s—creative director at a New York ad agency. So I asked him about accuracy in the show, and he said that the boozing was completely true. Indeed, potential hires would be taken out for massive drinking binges during the day to see whether they could still be productive in the evening while drunk.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Kory
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Kory »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 5:51pm
revbob wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 5:33pm
Silent Majority wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 10:22am
I'm taking the train from Birmingham to London to visit family and it has a bar - well, a place that sells coffee, sandwiches, soft drinks and, it supposes, alcohol. I've made about four more visits than a rational person would and made the nice lady behind the counter laugh genuinely and hard so she bought me a whiskey. Better get a coffee before I see my Ma, cos this train has got me daytime drunk.
Daytime drunk is cool, it's the dinner time hangover that sucks.
I think I've told this story before, but I met an old guy who was basically Don Draper in the 60s—creative director at a New York ad agency. So I asked him about accuracy in the show, and he said that the boozing was completely true. Indeed, potential hires would be taken out for massive drinking binges during the day to see whether they could still be productive in the evening while drunk.
I usually fall asleep.
"Suck our Earth dick, Martians!" —Doc

Silent Majority
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Silent Majority »

My brother, who is like me but a kickboxer and 19, took me down the very grimy local pub twenty minutes after arriving at my Ma's so tomorrow is going to be suffering and payment for these sins.
a lifetime serving one machine
Is ten times worse than prison


www.pexlives.libsyn.com/

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Kory wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 7:06pm
Dr. Medulla wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 5:51pm
revbob wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 5:33pm
Silent Majority wrote:
10 Feb 2017, 10:22am
I'm taking the train from Birmingham to London to visit family and it has a bar - well, a place that sells coffee, sandwiches, soft drinks and, it supposes, alcohol. I've made about four more visits than a rational person would and made the nice lady behind the counter laugh genuinely and hard so she bought me a whiskey. Better get a coffee before I see my Ma, cos this train has got me daytime drunk.
Daytime drunk is cool, it's the dinner time hangover that sucks.
I think I've told this story before, but I met an old guy who was basically Don Draper in the 60s—creative director at a New York ad agency. So I asked him about accuracy in the show, and he said that the boozing was completely true. Indeed, potential hires would be taken out for massive drinking binges during the day to see whether they could still be productive in the evening while drunk.
I usually fall asleep.
Bingo. Back in my serious drinking days, I'd just hit that point and just head to bed without telling anyone. Sorry, I'm done. And then suffer a crippling hangover the next day. I'd love to revisit that overindulgence, but I just can't do it.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Kaleb and Crystal, sitting in a tree …
Image
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

tepista
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by tepista »

holy shot, that is fucking awesome. Everytime I meet someone named Crystal I joke that their last name is meth. For decades.
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Kory
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Kory »

tepista wrote:
20 Feb 2017, 1:57pm
holy shot, that is fucking awesome. Everytime I meet someone named Crystal I joke that their last name is meth. For decades.
In other news, Tep has exactly 0 friends named Crystal.
"Suck our Earth dick, Martians!" —Doc

tepista
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by tepista »

Kaleb's Gurlfrend Wuz Here

Image
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Kaleb's doin' just fine.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

tepista
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by tepista »

Image
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

tepista
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Re: Shamerd my assgerfed

Post by tepista »

Always the gentleman, Kaleb is.

Image
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

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