Thread O'Booze REVISED!

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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by BostonBeaneater » 08 Jan 2017, 7:44pm

tepista wrote:
08 Jan 2017, 3:16pm
Well, when I was a teenager it took me most of the night to drink a bottle of duck, this time took me an hour and I got really drunk. no one else wanted any, but a few took a sip and the responses were anywhere from "Oh, that's not so bad" to "EEEW!" I had planned to follow up with a buncha tequila shot, as I normally would, but it left me pretty chill. My friends say I'm funny on the rare occasions I drink wine, what do they know? It was like 6-7PM when I drank it, I let the buzz linger and didn't start doing shots til like 10. We played poker til about 330, I kinda broke even, maybe slightly under. Got really high, too. No vomit.
That sounds like a lovely night.
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by matedog » 09 Jan 2017, 11:58am

BostonBeaneater wrote:
08 Jan 2017, 7:44pm
tepista wrote:
08 Jan 2017, 3:16pm
Well, when I was a teenager it took me most of the night to drink a bottle of duck, this time took me an hour and I got really drunk. no one else wanted any, but a few took a sip and the responses were anywhere from "Oh, that's not so bad" to "EEEW!" I had planned to follow up with a buncha tequila shot, as I normally would, but it left me pretty chill. My friends say I'm funny on the rare occasions I drink wine, what do they know? It was like 6-7PM when I drank it, I let the buzz linger and didn't start doing shots til like 10. We played poker til about 330, I kinda broke even, maybe slightly under. Got really high, too. No vomit.
That sounds like a lovely night.
Seriously. Breaking even seems like a minor miracle too. At least for me, being that fucked up, I become a grade A moron.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by Rat Patrol » 09 Jan 2017, 3:37pm

http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/06/news/co ... er-brewer/

This is horrifying. Not the least of which because some family member of mine is bound to buy this thing and make me try it next time I'm over their house. :yuck:
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by revbob » 09 Jan 2017, 5:13pm

Rat Patrol wrote:
09 Jan 2017, 3:37pm
http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/06/news/co ... er-brewer/

This is horrifying. Not the least of which because some family member of mine is bound to buy this thing and make me try it next time I'm over their house. :yuck:
Who wouldn't want "home brewed" Bud and Corona.

I don't know who is coming up with these ideas at Keurig but they keep laying eggs. One of the problems with their Keurig Kold was that you could only do like 8 Oz and then it would take 30 min before it could do another.

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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by Wolter » 09 Jan 2017, 7:23pm

revbob wrote:
09 Jan 2017, 5:13pm
Rat Patrol wrote:
09 Jan 2017, 3:37pm
http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/06/news/co ... er-brewer/

This is horrifying. Not the least of which because some family member of mine is bound to buy this thing and make me try it next time I'm over their house. :yuck:
Who wouldn't want "home brewed" Bud and Corona.

I don't know who is coming up with these ideas at Keurig but they keep laying eggs. One of the problems with their Keurig Kold was that you could only do like 8 Oz and then it would take 30 min before it could do another.
I fucking despise the concept of the Keurig. A fucking wasteful way to get mediocre coffee. Ali and I caved and got one on our wedding registry, against my better judgment, because we could supposedly get an optional filter attachment and use our own ground beans. What they don't tell you is that it is really easy for stray grinds not in their wasteful assed K-Cups to clog the feed lines. The fucking thing was worthless within months. I went back to using either my 15 year old drip machine or a French press and never looked back.
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by Rat Patrol » 10 Jan 2017, 8:22am

revbob wrote:
09 Jan 2017, 5:13pm
Rat Patrol wrote:
09 Jan 2017, 3:37pm
http://money.cnn.com/2017/01/06/news/co ... er-brewer/

This is horrifying. Not the least of which because some family member of mine is bound to buy this thing and make me try it next time I'm over their house. :yuck:
Who wouldn't want "home brewed" Bud and Corona.

I don't know who is coming up with these ideas at Keurig but they keep laying eggs. One of the problems with their Keurig Kold was that you could only do like 8 Oz and then it would take 30 min before it could do another.
Their claim to fame is basically developing a fast, cheap mass-market pressurized water heater kitchen appliance. Before them the only place you saw pressurized water makers was the office instant-coffee vending machine that required a service contract. Keurig didn't break through because the K-Cups were anything worth buying; they're the biggest ripoff around. They didn't break through because they were first; proprietary coffee singles makers have been tried--with failure--for generations and landfills are full of past machines that went obsolete the second their one-of-a-kind singles thingies went off the market. No...they got it because their water heater takes less than 2 minutes from cold start to ready-to-work, less than 1 minute between cups, pours a cup in 30 seconds, and only takes pushing 1 fucking brainless button. It's the basest instant gratification impatient consumers can get in their own kitchen, and they're so cheap they're practically disposable. Machine on the fritz?...just wait till next Xmas when some relative with a shitload of bonus points on their department store credit card buys you a new one! The fact that they were able to make the K-Cups the main selling point, push that weak-ass Green Mountain swill on America at obscene markup, and achieve total vendor lock-in with the royalties from licensing the single-serve container was just pure lightning-strikes marketing brilliance.

Their mistake was convincing themselves that the K-Cups were such hot shit unto themselves that they could corner the market on every single-serve liquid or semi-liquid we pour down our gullets. When really it was because their machine was so stupid-fast, stupid-easy, and stupid-disposable that they climbed out to an early--but still long-term temporary--market lead. First they overreached with the DRM on the Keurig 2.0 to freeze out anyone who tried to reverse-engineer the K-Cup container, all the off-brand coffee cheaper than Green Mountain, and the make-your-own audience who use reusable filters. Then they started licensing some dodgy stuff like K-Cup soups ( :yuck: :yuck: :yuck: ) like it was an every-device that could make a four-course meal. That Campbell's-brand chicken noodle terror-in-a- K-Cup is now marked-down 75% at the Stop & Shop because they can't get rid of their inventory and it never expires. And then they went completely off the cliff with that slow-ass and way overcomplicated Kold...forgetting that their whole claim to fame was lizard-brain instant gratification. After basically wrecking the company with that, appears they've learned nothing and now think there's a latent market of anti-beer beersnobs.



FWIW...I have a Sodastream I got from some relative a few years ago. Took me about 2 years to even take it out of the box and try it out, but once I did give a shot it's pretty hard to improve on. It's just a piece of plastic with a CO2 cannister and a half-liter bottle. Fill bottle with water, screw it upright into the plastic stand for air seal, press button. Boom...fizz. Press button again for more fizz. Take a bottle of soda mix, measure out portion in the cap, pour the syrup into fizzy water. Put the cap on and gently spin bottle around so it mixes. Ready to drink after like 3 spins. Stupid-stupid easy. And you can mix all the booze in it you want, just like at that fast food job you had where the whole night shift was chugging rum-and-coke!!!

The soda mixes cost like $4.99 at Staples and (if you don't drink a whole lot like me) last a long time, the CO2 cannisters cost like $18 and last a long time, and the facsimile flavors they have are actually pretty close to what they're supposed to be miming (I'm working on a bottle of "Dr. Pete" mix, and damn if that doesn't taste just like it's a brother from a different mother). And the thing still works even if you drop it on the floor and completely shatter the plastic...because it's just an injection-molded plastic stand with a nozzle. Not that the proprietary half-liter bottles are expensive or anything, but I bet you could even jury-rig a different nozzle that lets you use the empty liter of Coke you threw in the recycling with this.

That's literally how every automated soda fountain in a 7-Eleven works: pipe one line of CO2 with one line of syrup into chilled water...instant, and no moving parts. That's all it is in self-contained form shrunk small enough to put in your kitchen cabinet. You could literally steal a wholesale refill of Diet Coke fountain syrup from a McDonalds while the night cashier is out for a piss break and use it in your Sodastream. How arrogant does a company have to be to overcomplicate this with expensive machinery? The only good thing about Keurig Kold is that all the borderline-illegal deals they cut with department stores to freeze Sodastream off their shelves and replace with KK meant that Sodastream slashed its prices dirt cheap when it retrenched to lower-rent office supplies stores. Apparently they're pretty popular with desk jockeys who abuse the company office supply budget buying them and need something to hide their alcohol in during meetings, because Staples sells mind-boggling array of mix flavors.
Wolter wrote:I fucking despise the concept of the Keurig. A fucking wasteful way to get mediocre coffee. Ali and I caved and got one on our wedding registry, against my better judgment, because we could supposedly get an optional filter attachment and use our own ground beans. What they don't tell you is that it is really easy for stray grinds not in their wasteful assed K-Cups to clog the feed lines. The fucking thing was worthless within months. I went back to using either my 15 year old drip machine or a French press and never looked back.
Other than some cheap-ass dollar store flavor-medley coffee for that once a week I'm in the mood for faux- butter toffee, I don't think I've ever actually bought K-Cups. I just do my store-bought Chock Full o' Nuts or bag of ground Dunkies coffee-like stimul-crank in the machine with a bunch of reusable plastic filters sold six-for-$6 that go right in the dishwasher. Must've lucked out because those filters have lasted me 2 years of daily use without clogging at all. And haven't had any issues with my "1.0"-era machine...though my parents, who have hard water at their house, pretty much burn through a new one every 18 months because of all the mineral crap in their tap water.

But...seriously, it's just a fucking pressurized water heater. I use it just as effectively and pushbutton instant-gratification to pour hot water for making instant oatmeal out of a packet...or Jello shots :shifty: . Shorn of all its marketing hooey it's a fairly useful generic kitchen appliance. But I live alone, so I'm not brewing up a pot for two or doing hoity-toity things with my day like "meal prep" or "bathing regularly". Passable pushbutton caffeine foodproduct is good enough for my needs. I just can't understand the people who bought the marketing so hook-line-sinker that they've completely forgotten how to make coffee that's not in a K-Cup. (<--- my family X( )
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by JennyB » 10 Jan 2017, 10:42am

Keurig hot chocolate sucks too.
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by Wolter » 10 Jan 2017, 11:19am

I'm gonna go on record as pro-SodaStream. That thing is useful as hell and practically unbreakable. And I don't even use the flavor pouches. I usually just drink plain soda water, or maybe squeeze a little lemon or lime in.
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by BostonBeaneater » 11 Jan 2017, 12:08pm

Wolter wrote:
10 Jan 2017, 11:19am
I'm gonna go on record as pro-SodaStream. That thing is useful as hell and practically unbreakable. And I don't even use the flavor pouches. I usually just drink plain soda water, or maybe squeeze a little lemon or lime in.
They can turn cheapo wine into champagne just like Jesus Christ did back in the day.
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by revbob » 11 Jan 2017, 12:21pm

BostonBeaneater wrote:
11 Jan 2017, 12:08pm
Wolter wrote:
10 Jan 2017, 11:19am
I'm gonna go on record as pro-SodaStream. That thing is useful as hell and practically unbreakable. And I don't even use the flavor pouches. I usually just drink plain soda water, or maybe squeeze a little lemon or lime in.
They can turn cheapo wine into champagne just like Jesus Christ did back in the day.
So do you carbonate the blood before you turn it into wine?

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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by BostonBeaneater » 11 Jan 2017, 1:56pm

revbob wrote:
11 Jan 2017, 12:21pm
BostonBeaneater wrote:
11 Jan 2017, 12:08pm
Wolter wrote:
10 Jan 2017, 11:19am
I'm gonna go on record as pro-SodaStream. That thing is useful as hell and practically unbreakable. And I don't even use the flavor pouches. I usually just drink plain soda water, or maybe squeeze a little lemon or lime in.
They can turn cheapo wine into champagne just like Jesus Christ did back in the day.
So do you carbonate the blood before you turn it into wine?
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by Spiff » 16 Jan 2017, 3:04pm

I'm really into vodka gimlets right now.

Would it kill a vodka distiller to make a lime-flavoured vodka to help the process along?

For fuck's sake, I saw a cucumber-flavoured vodka on the shelf today ... WTF is up with that?

ETA: And I saw this at 10:15 this morning ... so I am celebrating MLK Jr. Day by getting drunk as fuck at home.
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by Rat Patrol » 16 Jan 2017, 7:31pm

Spiff wrote:
16 Jan 2017, 3:04pm
ETA: And I saw this at 10:15 this morning ... so I am celebrating MLK Jr. Day by getting drunk as fuck at home.
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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by BostonBeaneater » 16 Jan 2017, 9:17pm

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Re: Thread O'Booze REVISED!

Post by BostonBeaneater » 16 Jan 2017, 9:17pm

BostonBeaneater wrote:
16 Jan 2017, 9:17pm
So much to unpack here:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politic ... -1.2947620
Oops, wrong thread.
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