movies

[tepista]

Village of the Giants (1965) Bert I. Gordon, creator of colossal men and giant crickets, hits the bad movie Hall of Fame this time. Junior scientist Ronny Howard makes a concoction that makes animals become huge. Some 20 foot tall dancing ducks end up in a barbecue that feeds the whole town. Beau Bridges and gang of rebellious teens visiting a small town via Los Angeles steal the “million dollar invention”, eat it and take over the town from the (not so) oppressive adults. They dress themselves in togas made from theater curtains and start pushing around the little people while eating dozens of buckets of chicken and drinking cases of tiny Cokes. The nice kids try to round up the bad ones with lassos and motorcycles, while little Opie tries to invent an antidote. The good kids include a red-haired Toni Basil. Lots of dancing, including a scene filmed at the Whisky a Go-Go, plenty of hot chicks, and performances from The Beau Brummels and Freddy “Boom Boom” Cannon. Quentin Tarantino borrowed the theme song to use in Death Proof.

Island of Lost Women (1959) A two-man airplane crash lands on a secret island where former nuclear scientist Alan Napier (Batman's Alfred) and his three smokin' hot daughters are hiding from the violent outside world. Napier refuses to let them leave, but the girls become infatuated with the boys, having never seen any in their lives. The mathematical setup of two boys and three girls leads to some treachery. I thought this was some pretty good fun.

Zombie High (1987) Virgina Madsen gets a scholarship to a prestigious prep school for rich kids, where the faculty gives kids pseudo-lobotomies to make them the good students, kinda like the Stepford Wives. Sherilyn Fenn, who presence is always a plus, plays her roommate, but there were very few plusses in this one. The only interesting scene was when the school’s most rebellious boy is revealed to have joined the sheep, but even that wasn’t as good as it should have been. A string of missed opportunities, and throw in zero sex and a bad soundtrack make this a tedious watch. Not recommended, to say the least.

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) A small graduating class gets to take a boat trip to Manhattan, and our buddy Jason hitches a ride, killing most before chasing the survivors through the streets of New York. Familiar faces include Peter mark Richman who has over 100 (mostly TV) credits as a mean older guy, and the hot Kelly Hu as one of the teenage boat victims. Once they get to New York, Jason, for the most part, ignores the locals and stalks only his former prey from the boat, which seems like a missed opportunity. A street gang of punk rockers listening to hip-hop on a ghetto blaster encounter Jason, and are allowed to run away safely. Come on, they should be killed for being posers! This is hands down the worst film in the series, if you had to skip one, this would be it.

Communion (1976) Set in the early 60s, ten year-old Brooke Shields (in her fist feature film) is brutally murdered in a church right before her first communion, and all fingers point to her 12 year old sociopath sister, Alice. An aunt and ex-husband come to console the grieving mother, who refuses to believe the accusations. Acts of violence continue to occur and VHS covers in the 80s tried to push this as a Brooke Shields vehicle under the alternate title, Alice Sweet Alice, she was gone after 15 minutes, but this is a lot more than just a gimmick. Very good movie. Recommended.

Cold in July (2014) Jim (Stake Land, Mulberry Street) Mickle's crime thriller set in 1989 Texas stars TV’s Dexter as a man who shoots a home invader to death. The deceased’s father, a parolee played by Sam Sheppard vows an eye for an eye, causing Dex to ask for some protection for his wife and son from Sherriff Nick Damici. Some unforeseen events show that all is not what it seems, and Don Johnson joins the mix as a cowboy boot wearin’, red Cadillac drivin’ pivate eye, and he steals the show. A climactic scene reminiscent of Rolling Thunder make Mickle’s first non-horror venture worth a look.

Stay Alive (2006) Now the reason I watched this was the William Brent Bell has Wer and Devil Inside on his credits, and I read that the theatrical release for this was chopped 15 minutes for a PG13, so why not give the director's cut a shot? Video games aren't my cup of tea, and this has a if-you-die-in-the-game-then-you-die-for-real premise. The game was based on the blood-bathing Countess Bathory. I'd have to say it still wasn't very good. So what were the cuts? I'd have to guess, there was profanity and some brief nudity in the climactic scene. Not 15 minutes worth though. With Malcom in the Middle, one of Sunny’s McPoyles, and a couple of hot chicks.

A Horrible Way to Die (2010) AJ Bowen is an escaped serial killer. His recovering alcoholic ex-girlfriend is trying to get on with her life. She attends AA meetings and meets a nice guy, but make sure no one knows about her ex, as being so drunk that you’re unaware that your live-in boyfriend has been on a tremendous murder spree could be considered rock bottom. When she catches word that he is on the loose, she get the idea he’s on the way to see her. Good movie with a dynamite ending. Adam Wingard employs a wild swinging camera, and intentional blurriness that really made for some discomfort on my eyeballs, but overall, this is a thumbs up.

Big Tits Zombie (2010) Outrageous Japanese comedy-action, which I usually don't like, but this was OK. I watched dubbed and with subs. The American dub track has way more dialog, and a lot of it riffs the movie itself. Like added jokes, outside the script, I mean. Strippers fight zombies is the premise. A little funny, hot chicks, some nudity, awful effects, and at least 10 minutes of footage from the beginning returned later in the film, and even so, the runtime was only 73 minutes!

[tepista]

[Dr. Medulla]

A hundred years, eh? I'm so impressed by the tenacity of the scheme that I'm willing to roll over and let the Elite have this one.

[matedog]

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) A street gang of punk rockers listening to hip-hop on a ghetto blaster encounter Jason, and are allowed to run away safely. Come on, they should be killed for being posers!

[tepista]

[JennyB]

Jewtopia.

[Kory]

Jewtopia.

Jenny's in a portmanteau mood lately.

Portmantjew?

[JennyB]

Jewtopia.

Jenny's in a portmanteau mood lately.

Portmantjew?

[tepista]

Evolver (1995) A virtual reality video game champion gets a prototype robot delivered to his house for promotional reasons. He and his friends play laser tag with it, but with every level they compete, the robot gets tougher, and starts hurting for real, and even killing when it replaces its plastic shooting balls with some metal ball bearings it finds in the house. Before the game goes south, the boys take it to girls locker room to catch a titty-shot on video. That and some blood take this PG premise to an R. Ethan Embry (Vegas Vacation) plays the video game whiz, who is oblivious to the fact that the cute new girl in town likes him. John de Lancie (Star Trek’s Q) plays Evolver’s creator, who obviously knows the bot is more dangerous than it seems.

Animal (2014) People in the woods run from a man-eating monster with a lot of teeth. They find a cabin, but there’s already a few people hiding in there too, and a rescue does not seem on the way. One guy was an asshole who put his safety above others, and lady was Joey Laruen Adams. Bland, forgettable stuff.

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966) Don Knotts plays a small town newspaper typesetter with aspirations of stepping up to reporter. He spends the night in a haunted house and his front page column becomes a hit, making him a local hero. The rich developer debunks the story, and now Don is the local loser. Bewitched’s Dick Sargent plays the newspaper editor, and Joan Staley, who has a Playboy appearance, plays the pretty girl.

Wake in Fright (1971) I though this was an old Aussie horror flick when I rented it, it's actually a drama/thriller, but it was really good. An outback schoolteacher on Christmas break (weather is hot in Australia during Xmas!) gets drunk during a one-day stopover on his way to Sydney, loses all his money gambling, and gets stuck in a two-week drunken nightmare that turns violent in the end. A running theme in the film is that the locals insist that the stranger drink with them, and won’t take know for an answer, to the point where refusal is the ultimate insult and will not be stood for. At one point the teacher describes it as “aggressive hospitality.” One thing that was extremely unpleasant was a kangaroo hunt with real footage (it's acknowledged during the end credits that it was shown to make the viewer aware of the atrocity) but there was a lot of it and it was rough to stomach. But on the other hand, the rest of it was really good, and Donald Pleasance was top billed as the village doctor who lives in squalor and trades his services for booze, which he drinks morning, noon and night. The teacher stays with doctor and starts to get a bit comfortable in his new sudden role and a broke lush, but that will soon come to a shocking halt. Canadian director Ted Kotcheff did North Dallas Forty, First Blood, and Weekend at Bernie;s to name a few. I guess he has range. Recommended.

[Dr. Medulla]

Learned that a group of movie nerds have painstakingly laboured to digitize and restore the original theatre versions of the trilogy, so I dl'd them (they're being trafficked under the name the Despecialized Edition). Just started watching the original Star Wars and, gotta say, having the crawl without "Episode IV: A New Hope" gave me a smile. The shit is also HD and looks really, really nice.

[Wolter]

Learned that a group of movie nerds have painstakingly laboured to digitize and restore the original theatre versions of the trilogy, so I dl'd them (they're being trafficked under the name the Despecialized Edition). Just started watching the original Star Wars and, gotta say, having the crawl without "Episode IV: A New Hope" gave me a smile. The shit is also HD and looks really, really nice.

I torrented those a while back. They look gorgeous and actually show the movies as they were intended to be seen before George Lucas's neck wattle took over and throttled his brain.

[Dr. Medulla]

Learned that a group of movie nerds have painstakingly laboured to digitize and restore the original theatre versions of the trilogy, so I dl'd them (they're being trafficked under the name the Despecialized Edition). Just started watching the original Star Wars and, gotta say, having the crawl without "Episode IV: A New Hope" gave me a smile. The shit is also HD and looks really, really nice.

I torrented those a while back. They look gorgeous and actually show the movies as they were intended to be seen before George Lucas's neck wattle took over and throttled his brain.

Such an odd sensation of both loving the movie you're watching and being irritated as fuck at the guy who made it.

[daredevil]

Speaking of Star Wars. I can't wait for the new one out at Christmas called The Force Awakens.

[tepista]

Selma

[JennyB]

Selma

Diversification? Like your stock market portfolio?