Does Nick Markakis really exist?

Sweet action for kids 'n' cretins. Marjoram and capers.
Dr. Medulla
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Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Mimi wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
Mimi wrote:Can we get back to talking about Nick Markakis? Geez, you guys and your thread evolution. :shifty:
Mutation! :angry:
Image

Look into my eyes, Hooky. I care. I exist. And I'm sexy. My sexy eyes are 33.3% sexier than Derek Jeter's sexy eyes. Do you think I'm sexy, Hooky? Because I am and I can prove it. How, you ask? I'm sexy every time I bat against the Yankees, especially Andy Pettitte. Wait, what?
You had me until you claimed his eyes are sexier than St. Derek's. Those calm and sexy eyes have induced double plays (as long as the ball wasn't hit to his left) and spread his herpes throughout the celebrity A list.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Mimi
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Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?

Post by Mimi »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
Mimi wrote:Can we get back to talking about Nick Markakis? Geez, you guys and your thread evolution. :shifty:
Mutation! :angry:
Image

Look into my eyes, Hooky. I care. I exist. And I'm sexy. My sexy eyes are 33.3% sexier than Derek Jeter's sexy eyes. Do you think I'm sexy, Hooky? Because I am and I can prove it. How, you ask? I'm sexy every time I bat against the Yankees, especially Andy Pettitte. Wait, what?
You had me until you claimed his eyes are sexier than St. Derek's. Those calm and sexy eyes have induced double plays (as long as the ball wasn't hit to his left) and spread his herpes throughout the celebrity A list.
Actually, Nick's eyes ain't so bad. Of course, I keep getting distracted by that zit on his cheek that keeps waving "hi" to me. Stop it, Zit!

Dr. Medulla
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Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Mimi wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
Mimi wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
Mimi wrote:Can we get back to talking about Nick Markakis? Geez, you guys and your thread evolution. :shifty:
Mutation! :angry:
Image

Look into my eyes, Hooky. I care. I exist. And I'm sexy. My sexy eyes are 33.3% sexier than Derek Jeter's sexy eyes. Do you think I'm sexy, Hooky? Because I am and I can prove it. How, you ask? I'm sexy every time I bat against the Yankees, especially Andy Pettitte. Wait, what?
You had me until you claimed his eyes are sexier than St. Derek's. Those calm and sexy eyes have induced double plays (as long as the ball wasn't hit to his left) and spread his herpes throughout the celebrity A list.
Actually, Nick's eyes ain't so bad. Of course, I keep getting distracted by that zit on his cheek that keeps waving "hi" to me. Stop it, Zit!
Love Nick, love his blemishes. Angelos will do all he can to keep him—he's got a weakness for the Greeks.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Dr. Medulla
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Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Deadspin writes about fictional ballplayer who is shitty because he sometimes makes outs: https://deadspin.com/nick-markakis-real ... 1828340145
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

eumaas
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Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?

Post by eumaas »

lungfish
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

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