The 2016 US Election Thread

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Dr. Medulla
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The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 17 Dec 2014, 6:52pm

Now that the "smart" Bush has kind of, sort of declared, may as well kick this off.

Bush!
Clinton!
Crab Juice!
Suicide Pills!

If it's Bush v. Clinton, it will, without a doubt, be the worst "choice" since, I dunno, Hoover v. Smith.* Even worse than 2012 or 2004 or 1996 or 1968.

* Fun fact: 1928 was the last presidential election when the Republicans won without a Nixon or a Bush on the ticket. They also lost a couple elections with those names.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Wolter » 17 Dec 2014, 7:02pm

Ugh. Too soon.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Flex » 17 Dec 2014, 7:04pm

Hahahhahahahahahapleasefuckingkillme
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 17 Dec 2014, 7:10pm

Feh. Embrace the collapse.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Rat Patrol » 17 Dec 2014, 8:06pm

Bush is Fred Thompson II. He doesn't have the stomach for this and it shows.

And the calendar for early primaries is absolutely brutal in '16 for an establishment Republican. First up: Iowa caucuses [crazies always win], NH primary [given over to the crazies], Flexorado caucuses [early caucus = crazies], Spiffisota caucuses [ditto], Moranjortstan [crazyland], Nevada caucuses [caucus = crazies], South Carolina [crazies], North Carolina [given last 2 extremist cycles there, I'm guessing crazies], Arizona [crazies]. First winnable one for him is Michigan on Feb. 23, then Super Tuesday on Mar. 1: Florida [home sweet home], Texas [automatic], Virginia [probably establishment], Vermont [establishment unless there's a John Huntsman moderate-type...then moderate-type], Massholia [establishment...but that's a RINO mark of shame in Jub's case], Oklahoma [crazies]. And if he doesn't near-sweep it there then Alabama and Mississippi are going to dent him good a week later while Hawaii [booooo! hiss!...Obamaland!] and Ohio aren't going to staunch the bleeding. Utah [no Mormon on ballot = crazies] is a default June date that could move to Feb. with legislative action (likely), and Georgia, Kansas, Wyoming, and New York are undecided on dates. It becomes a bona fide pigpile if any of those states move to Feb. or first 2 weeks of March (and in NY's case it may be the only state Chris Christie is outright favored before his candidacy is total toast, because he hits zero friendly territory until April).


The crazies have to split the vote 2012-style for him to not be mortally wounded by the time Super Tuesday comes around. And if Ted Cruz and Rand Paul are there clearing out some of the more marginal/dilettante contenders, I don't think we're going to have 10 states split 8 ways like the '12 clown show that allowed Romney to get off the mat. Forget all the breathless talk in Politico and Morning Joe this week...the establishment is not only unenthusiastic like they were with Romney, but they're scared to calcified shit that their last/best resort isn't going to be enough to outlast a red meat field that shakes down to 2 or 3 in February instead of the 6-8 it was last time. In '12 they knew they'd ride it out (although Romney let them down even more by how long it took him to shake everyone else off his tail). In '16 they have no fucking clue if they can ride it out. None.

I think he keeps it on a short leash. He's not like Romney so desperate for validation that he'll literally do anything, promise to be anything, beg, grovel for the nomination. The patrician dynasty is more of a noose around JibJab's neck than just their reputation...and as the so-called "cerebral one" he's going to stay fully in-character trying to be above the fray. Sort of like his retarded brother never broke character from that "compassionate conservatism" ruse, only more stifled. It doesn't matter if you have an army of operatives cueing up the Willie Horton ads and sliming every opponent in sight. Romney's oppo research and endless money to throw at negative ads was equally formidible. But the difference is his opponents have no qualms in owning up to their slime machines, and revel in it. Cruz and Paul aren't going to let their fixers in the shadows do the dirty work so they don't have to...they'll be out in front waving the bloody shirt. Which makes an earlier-consolidated field that much more dangerous. JabbaJabbaHey either owns his own slime machine and out-hates the consolidated field, or gets eaten alive. And I don't think his dynasty DNA is going to let his personality go there. Hell...the one shame he has to carry through life is that he lost his '94 bid for Governor while W won. Because W was more willing to go in the gutter against Ann Richards (seeding lesbian rumors, for one) than JibJob was at Lawton Chiles that year. Therefore knocking him down a peg as the first one who'd be allowed to run for Prez., since he was playing too much catch-up when he won a much sleepier open-seat Gov. race on his second try.

My guess is if the going is rough early-on, he gets out Thompson-style before anybody has time to form memories of him being there and lets Christie or someone be the establishment fall guy who commits career suicide for the team.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by JennyB » 18 Dec 2014, 12:45am

Well, I sure as shit ain't voting for Wolt again this time. I never did get my Jetsons shit.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Wolter » 18 Dec 2014, 1:12am

JennyB wrote:Well, I sure as shit ain't voting for Wolt again this time. I never did get my Jetsons shit.
I'm typing this on a 4x2.5" computer that can access all the world's knowledge via satellite. Didn't you?
"There's something more honest, he believed, about traditional methods of mass starvation, labour camps, and machine gunning millions to death. Stalin was a vinyl guy who sneered at Truman converting everything to compact disc." - Thomas Jefferson

"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"

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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 18 Dec 2014, 6:45am

Wolter wrote:
JennyB wrote:Well, I sure as shit ain't voting for Wolt again this time. I never did get my Jetsons shit.
I'm typing this on a 4x2.5" computer that can access all the world's knowledge via satellite. Didn't you?
Quit taking credit for Al Gore's efforts.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Wolter » 18 Dec 2014, 9:39am

Dr. Medulla wrote:
Wolter wrote:
JennyB wrote:Well, I sure as shit ain't voting for Wolt again this time. I never did get my Jetsons shit.
I'm typing this on a 4x2.5" computer that can access all the world's knowledge via satellite. Didn't you?
Quit taking credit for Al Gore's efforts.
Bah, if it were up to him, iPhones wouldn't even emit toxic gas...
"There's something more honest, he believed, about traditional methods of mass starvation, labour camps, and machine gunning millions to death. Stalin was a vinyl guy who sneered at Truman converting everything to compact disc." - Thomas Jefferson

"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"

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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Spiff » 18 Dec 2014, 11:39am

Kang/Kodos 2016!
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 18 Dec 2014, 12:01pm

Spiff wrote:Kang/Kodos 2016!
A Clinton/Bush unity ticket?
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Rat Patrol » 18 Dec 2014, 4:10pm

I'm disturbed that 8 years later this is still relevant:

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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 18 Dec 2014, 4:33pm

#50 looks promising.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Flex » 18 Dec 2014, 4:34pm

Jebrah Clinton-Bush is a stone cold fox.
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Re: The 2016 US Election Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 19 Feb 2015, 1:56pm

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the ... n-diagram/

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(Get a bigger monitor or click the link, whiners.)

p.s. Otto Reich? How is that not one of the Red Skull's most trusted associates?
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