Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Politics and other such topical creams.
matedog
User avatar
Purveyor of Hoyistic Thought
Posts: 19964
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
Location: 1995

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by matedog » 28 Mar 2012, 7:13pm

Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:
JennyB wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
I think you are/were my mother.
I'm just so tired of the mommy brigade, that's all.
This is why I am tired of the mommy brigade (I used to volunteer at the animal shelter with the woman who wrote this on Facebook. She was seemingly normal at the time. I hope I am not this insufferable. Am I this insufferable?):

I love Kid's not so common eating habits. This morning, I made him Breakfast Quinoa (red and white quinoa cooked w/ rice milk and cinnamon then mixed with frozen berries). I thought the breakfast was a little bland, but Kid was delighted! This probably isn't said often, but I'm a little jealous of my 2 year old's wonderfully unblemished taste buds. Within the past month, he's also requested leeks (yum), grapefruit (the best ever!), cabbage, brussels sprouts (oh boy!), green peppers, celery and green apples. He's delighted to help me pick out produce at the store. I'm not saying the kid doesn't love a cookie, but his excitement for fruits and veggies is like nothing I've ever seen.
It'll be great how much he's teaching her when he's setting fires under his bed.
Are you talking about pooping?
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 14619
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Rat Patrol » 28 Mar 2012, 7:16pm

I'm not seeing any flax in there. The kid-named-after-the-4th-largest-province-of-some-country-Bono-owns won't produce anywhere near the poop consistency to fertilize the community garden at that rate. You disgust the other mommies at parent-toddler underwater trance-yoga class.
Image

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 71524
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Nerdo Crombezia
Contact:

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Dr. Medulla » 28 Mar 2012, 7:27pm

matedog wrote:Are you talking about pooping?
I think we've just learned something about what L'il Hoy did under his bed.
Walrus birth doesn't make good breakfast conversation!

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 14619
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Rat Patrol » 28 Mar 2012, 7:33pm

Dr. Medulla wrote:
matedog wrote:Are you talking about pooping?
I think we've just learned something about what L'il Hoy did under his bed.
Image

"I buy my soy-based accelerant at a co-op. Do you?"
Image

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 71524
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Nerdo Crombezia
Contact:

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Dr. Medulla » 28 Mar 2012, 7:39pm

Rat Patrol wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
matedog wrote:Are you talking about pooping?
I think we've just learned something about what L'il Hoy did under his bed.
Image

"I buy my soy-based accelerant at a co-op. Do you?"
I've had that picture as my desktop image. I love her creepy stare so much.
Walrus birth doesn't make good breakfast conversation!

Heston
User avatar
God of Thunder...and Rock 'n Roll
Posts: 26200
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
Location: North of Watford Junction
Contact:

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Heston » 28 Mar 2012, 7:56pm

Rat Patrol wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
matedog wrote:Are you talking about pooping?
I think we've just learned something about what L'il Hoy did under his bed.
Image

"I buy my soy-based accelerant at a co-op. Do you?"
Looks like the final U2 album cover after Bono died in a house fire.
So what does Marconi playing the mamba mean? "Marconi" is referring to the radio itself. It plays a deadly snake. The snake - the mamba - is slithering from the speakers. Ready to kill greedy corporations. Ready to free the world of all that is evil, and to leave behind only the youthful idealism encompassed by the tenets of rock and roll.

JennyB
User avatar
Clash Cuck
Posts: 15458
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 1:13pm
Location: Moranjortsville

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB » 28 Mar 2012, 8:44pm

Heston wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
matedog wrote:Are you talking about pooping?
I think we've just learned something about what L'il Hoy did under his bed.
Image

"I buy my soy-based accelerant at a co-op. Do you?"
Looks like the final U2 album cover after Bono died in a house fire.
:mrgreen:
Got a Rake? Sure!

IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M

Don't talk shop.

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 71524
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Nerdo Crombezia
Contact:

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Dr. Medulla » 05 Apr 2012, 11:17am

Astronomer Discovers Center Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—California Institute of Technology astronomer Dr. James Shrifkin stunned the scientific and space-exploration communities Tuesday, when he announced that the center of the known universe is his 9-year-old son Brian.

"The universe revolves around him," Shrifkin told colleagues at the annual American Society Of Astronomers convention at Cal Tech. "He is the most precious and wonderful child in all known creation."

Shrifkin said he first suspected that Brian, a straight-A student at Lakeside Elementary School, is the center of the universe last Saturday, when he scored three goals in his soccer game.

"After the game, I went home and thought about the many quantifiable properties of goodness my son possesses, including kindness, generosity and intelligence," Shrifkin said. "Formulating a rough Briancentric theory of space and time, I then collected more evidence, including the beautiful card he bought me last Father's Day and his spelling-bee trophy. The more data I had, the more apparent it became that my own son is the elusive center of the universe for which science has long searched."

According to Shrifkin, at the moment of the Big Bang, a swirling, primordial cloud of emBrianic matter existed at the center of what would eventually become the universe. As the explosion settled and galaxies formed, Brian remained in the center, where laws of physics originating within him dictated the development of space as we know it.

"Primary data indicates that Brian is a spatial hub around which all other activity revolves," an excited, proud Shrifkin told reporters yesterday. "Pulsars, black holes, and even the daily activities of myself and my wife Joan are merely 'fringe' events that occur in the remote, soupy mass of the outer universe, millions of light years removed from the truly important events, such as Brian's Little League home runs and science-fair victories."

Brian emits such a powerful field of gravity and significance, Shrifkin said, that persons and objects take on added significance by virtue of their proximity to him. As an example of this phenomenon, Shrifkin cited Brian's classmate Josh Alder. "The moment Brian first met Adler, it became important to know if this was a nice boy or just some punk his mother and I felt he should steer clear of," he said. "Such information was of zero consequence before he entered Brian's sensitive event horizon."

Shrifkin concluded by calling upon Cal Tech to establish a new Department of Brian Physics, with himself as department head. "My vast expertise on the details and history of Brian make me the ideal candidate to lead this new branch of science," he said. "For example, I can tell you every grade on every report card Brian has ever received, from kindergarten to the present. Go on, ask me."
http://www.theonion.com/articles/astron ... verse,559/
Walrus birth doesn't make good breakfast conversation!

matedog
User avatar
Purveyor of Hoyistic Thought
Posts: 19964
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
Location: 1995

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by matedog » 05 Apr 2012, 11:27am

Now that some friends are starting to have kids, I am convinced that babies range ugly to not cute and that yeah, if/when I have baby Hoy, I'll think he/she is cute as hell, but it won't be cute to anyone else. It's kinda gross having to see all these facebook photos (professionally done) with these amorphous blobs making horrible faces. Of course if I said anything, I'd be the worst person ever.

Oh and I do think kids get cute around 1 or so when they start resembling real things.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 71524
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Nerdo Crombezia
Contact:

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Dr. Medulla » 05 Apr 2012, 11:32am

Of course Carlin has an opinion on the subject …
[youtube]
[/youtube]


And Hoy is very right about cute babies. Their degree of cuteness is roughly that of adults: a few cute ones, a whole lotta average, and a fair chunk of ugly. When an old friend's wife had their first child, he said that she (the baby) looked like ET. He wasn't wrong.
Walrus birth doesn't make good breakfast conversation!

Chuck Mangione
User avatar
Spitting Image
Posts: 6541
Joined: 17 Jun 2009, 10:45pm
Location: Up your boulevard.
Contact:

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Chuck Mangione » 05 Apr 2012, 5:18pm

Dr. Medulla wrote:And Hoy is very right
I can't believe my eyes.

Chuck Mangione
User avatar
Spitting Image
Posts: 6541
Joined: 17 Jun 2009, 10:45pm
Location: Up your boulevard.
Contact:

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Chuck Mangione » 05 Apr 2012, 5:20pm

But yeah, most babies are pretty ugly. Louie CK also makes a lot of great jokes about adults and their children/"ugly babies."

JennyB
User avatar
Clash Cuck
Posts: 15458
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 1:13pm
Location: Moranjortsville

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB » 05 Apr 2012, 9:29pm

I always thought VH Jr was a pretty cute baby, but looking back, he was just like any other baby. A blob.
Got a Rake? Sure!

IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M

Don't talk shop.

Purple Hayes
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 3855
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 7:54am
Location: Still scoring from corners..

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Purple Hayes » 06 Apr 2012, 10:57am

I'm completely and utterly biased when I say my Grandson was one hell of a cute baby...But it's true :mrgreen:

Image

And he's getting cuter by the day, lock up your daughters ;)

Image
'People like Coldplay and people voted for the Nazi's, you can't trust people Jeremy':- Super Hans

'Hayes ... is one of the most godforsaken places I have ever struck. The population seems to be entirely made up of clerks who frequent tin-roofed chapels on Sundays and for the rest bolt themselves within doors.' - George Orwell

JennyB
User avatar
Clash Cuck
Posts: 15458
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 1:13pm
Location: Moranjortsville

Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB » 06 Apr 2012, 12:01pm

Purple Hayes wrote:I'm completely and utterly biased when I say my Grandson was one hell of a cute baby...But it's true :mrgreen:

Image

And he's getting cuter by the day, lock up your daughters ;)

Image
Very very cute!
Got a Rake? Sure!

IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M

Don't talk shop.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests