Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

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Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by tepista »

They should replace the egg hunt with hunger games.
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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Friend of ours, who didn't realize that the term helicopter parent is a pejorative, got an aquarium altered at her kid's daycare. Inside the aquarium was a ceramic hollowed-out skull that the fish could swim thru. Nope, that'll cause nightmares. Get rid of it or I'm taking the messiah somewhere else.
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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by 101Walterton »

Dr. Medulla wrote:Friend of ours, who didn't realize that the term helicopter parent is a pejorative, got an aquarium altered at her kid's daycare. Inside the aquarium was a ceramic hollowed-out skull that the fish could swim thru. Nope, that'll cause nightmares. Get rid of it or I'm taking the messiah somewhere else.
How can the poor kid concentrate on his Zombie shooting iPod app when there is a plastic skull in the fish tank.

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by matedog »

101Walterton wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:Friend of ours, who didn't realize that the term helicopter parent is a pejorative, got an aquarium altered at her kid's daycare. Inside the aquarium was a ceramic hollowed-out skull that the fish could swim thru. Nope, that'll cause nightmares. Get rid of it or I'm taking the messiah somewhere else.
How can the poor kid concentrate on his Zombie shooting iPod app when there is a plastic skull in the fish tank.
NM, I misread the initial post.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB »

Dr. Medulla wrote:Friend of ours, who didn't realize that the term helicopter parent is a pejorative, got an aquarium altered at her kid's daycare. Inside the aquarium was a ceramic hollowed-out skull that the fish could swim thru. Nope, that'll cause nightmares. Get rid of it or I'm taking the messiah somewhere else.
Jesus fucking Christ. As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Dr. Medulla »

JennyB wrote:As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
I think you are/were my mother.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
I think you are/were my mother.
I'm just so tired of the mommy brigade, that's all.
Got a Rake? Sure!

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Rat Patrol »

http://jezebel.com/5895602/mom-puts-7+y ... ticle-ever

The family that stores its vomit in jars under the beds together...WINS together. Eyes on the prize, my fat fuck of a Precious. :naughty:

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB »

Rat Patrol wrote:http://jezebel.com/5895602/mom-puts-7+y ... ticle-ever

The family that stores its vomit in jars under the beds together...WINS together. Eyes on the prize, my fat fuck of a Precious. :naughty:
This is what my mom did to me, basically. And the ironic thing is, I look back at pictures from when I was a kid, and I wasn't even remotely fat (especially by today's standards). I was never gangly, but I was by no means fat. But my mom monitored everything I ate starting at a very early age, put me on Weight Watchers at age 9, etc. I basically became anorexic in 9th grade, then became bulimic, and I still struggle with that to this day. There was a point in my 20's where I was taking up to 20 laxatives a day. So yeah, this is this poor little girl's future, because her mom is so afraid of getting fat herself, she projects her neuroses on her kid. Seriously, how did I end up with the one Jewish mother on the planet who doesn't eat? My mom is an otherwise awesome person, too.

(I realize this is probably way TMI, but this story pisses me off so much and hits way too close to home).
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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB »

JennyB wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
I think you are/were my mother.
I'm just so tired of the mommy brigade, that's all.
This is why I am tired of the mommy brigade (I used to volunteer at the animal shelter with the woman who wrote this on Facebook. She was seemingly normal at the time. I hope I am not this insufferable. Am I this insufferable?):

I love Kid's not so common eating habits. This morning, I made him Breakfast Quinoa (red and white quinoa cooked w/ rice milk and cinnamon then mixed with frozen berries). I thought the breakfast was a little bland, but Kid was delighted! This probably isn't said often, but I'm a little jealous of my 2 year old's wonderfully unblemished taste buds. Within the past month, he's also requested leeks (yum), grapefruit (the best ever!), cabbage, brussels sprouts (oh boy!), green peppers, celery and green apples. He's delighted to help me pick out produce at the store. I'm not saying the kid doesn't love a cookie, but his excitement for fruits and veggies is like nothing I've ever seen.
Got a Rake? Sure!

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" *sigh* it's right when they throw the penis pump out the window." -Hoy

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Dr. Medulla »

JennyB wrote:
JennyB wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
I think you are/were my mother.
I'm just so tired of the mommy brigade, that's all.
This is why I am tired of the mommy brigade (I used to volunteer at the animal shelter with the woman who wrote this on Facebook. She was seemingly normal at the time. I hope I am not this insufferable. Am I this insufferable?):

I love Kid's not so common eating habits. This morning, I made him Breakfast Quinoa (red and white quinoa cooked w/ rice milk and cinnamon then mixed with frozen berries). I thought the breakfast was a little bland, but Kid was delighted! This probably isn't said often, but I'm a little jealous of my 2 year old's wonderfully unblemished taste buds. Within the past month, he's also requested leeks (yum), grapefruit (the best ever!), cabbage, brussels sprouts (oh boy!), green peppers, celery and green apples. He's delighted to help me pick out produce at the store. I'm not saying the kid doesn't love a cookie, but his excitement for fruits and veggies is like nothing I've ever seen.
It'll be great how much he's teaching her when he's setting fires under his bed.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by JennyB »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:
JennyB wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
I think you are/were my mother.
I'm just so tired of the mommy brigade, that's all.
This is why I am tired of the mommy brigade (I used to volunteer at the animal shelter with the woman who wrote this on Facebook. She was seemingly normal at the time. I hope I am not this insufferable. Am I this insufferable?):

I love Kid's not so common eating habits. This morning, I made him Breakfast Quinoa (red and white quinoa cooked w/ rice milk and cinnamon then mixed with frozen berries). I thought the breakfast was a little bland, but Kid was delighted! This probably isn't said often, but I'm a little jealous of my 2 year old's wonderfully unblemished taste buds. Within the past month, he's also requested leeks (yum), grapefruit (the best ever!), cabbage, brussels sprouts (oh boy!), green peppers, celery and green apples. He's delighted to help me pick out produce at the store. I'm not saying the kid doesn't love a cookie, but his excitement for fruits and veggies is like nothing I've ever seen.
It'll be great how much he's teaching her when he's setting fires under his bed.
:mrgreen:
Got a Rake? Sure!

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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by rcs »

JennyB wrote:
JennyB wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:As long as V H Jr's preschool teachers don't kill him, I'm cool.
I think you are/were my mother.
I'm just so tired of the mommy brigade, that's all.
This is why I am tired of the mommy brigade (I used to volunteer at the animal shelter with the woman who wrote this on Facebook. She was seemingly normal at the time. I hope I am not this insufferable. Am I this insufferable?):

I love Kid's not so common eating habits. This morning, I made him Breakfast Quinoa (red and white quinoa cooked w/ rice milk and cinnamon then mixed with frozen berries). I thought the breakfast was a little bland, but Kid was delighted! This probably isn't said often, but I'm a little jealous of my 2 year old's wonderfully unblemished taste buds. Within the past month, he's also requested leeks (yum), grapefruit (the best ever!), cabbage, brussels sprouts (oh boy!), green peppers, celery and green apples. He's delighted to help me pick out produce at the store. I'm not saying the kid doesn't love a cookie, but his excitement for fruits and veggies is like nothing I've ever seen.
did you give him kale, too?

the only thing i believe the kid requested was the apples.... other than that, she put shit in front of him, and he ate it...

he's 2 for corn's sake!
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Re: Parenting (...or My Precious Snowflake is Better Than Yours)

Post by Flex »

That's a pretty good example of information that never needs to be shared with another fucking human being in this world.

You don't just shovel the worst shit down your kid's throat. Good for you. Parent of the fucking year.
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