so, tomorrow...

[tepista]

you need a better excuse than that these days

[Dr. Medulla]

My father got jury summons in July despite being 1) a felon, and 2) deceased.

My mother was dealing with various government bureaucracies, particularly Revenue Canada, for a good five years after my dad died. Finally, one of my sisters, who works for the feds, started phoning around and getting his name taken off various computer lists and telling them to leave an old woman alone.

[Bankrobber]

It took 3 days for me to get kicked out this August. The defendant was a drug dealer and I had to tell them I was a drug user, and they still let me simmer for 24 hours more.

The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

[Dr. Medulla]

It took 3 days for me to get kicked out this August. The defendant was a drug dealer and I had to tell them I was a drug user, and they still let me simmer for 24 hours more.

The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Or you pull a Sarah Silverman:

In July 2001, long before she started blowing up, she did a guest spot on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. And she explained how to get out of jury duty. She said, she got the suggestion, "Why don't you just write something really inappropriate, like I hate Chinks?" Sarah responded that she didn't want people to think way about her, thus she said, "So I just filled out the form, and I wrote, 'I love Chinks.' And who doesn't?"