The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Politics and other such topical creams.

Which do you prefer?

House of Habsburg
5
63%
House of Hohenzollern
3
38%
 
Total votes: 8

eumaas
User avatar
Klezmer Shogun
Posts: 23579
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 8:10pm
Location: deep in your Id

The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by eumaas »

:?:
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115976
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Image
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Heston
User avatar
God of Thunder...and Rock 'n Roll
Posts: 38356
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
Location: North of Watford Junction

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Heston »

The House of Black Diamond.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

matedog
User avatar
Purveyor of Hoyistic Thought
Posts: 25797
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
Location: 1995

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by matedog »

It feels good to be vindicated after all these years re:fire crotches. :cool:
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

eumaas
User avatar
Klezmer Shogun
Posts: 23579
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 8:10pm
Location: deep in your Id

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by eumaas »

okay, who's the prussian?
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115976
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla »

matedog wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:00pm
It feels good to be vindicated after all these years re:fire crotches. :cool:
No one has ever advocated for male gingers. Ladies, it's always been about ladies.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Silent Majority
Singer-Songwriter Nancy
Posts: 18702
Joined: 10 Nov 2008, 8:28pm
Location: South Londoner in the Midlands.

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Silent Majority »

What's the Kennedy curse going to do to this one?
a lifetime serving one machine
Is ten times worse than prison


www.pexlives.libsyn.com/

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Rat Patrol »

Silent Majority wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:22pm
What's the Kennedy curse going to do to this one?
The hair and teeth genes will swap chromosomes when he turns 45 because of a paternal grandparent -traced mutation from Bobby and Ethel Catholic-breeding themselves a 7th kid too many...and then he'll quickly morph into a narwhal who vomits bright-red weave.

Silent Majority
Singer-Songwriter Nancy
Posts: 18702
Joined: 10 Nov 2008, 8:28pm
Location: South Londoner in the Midlands.

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Silent Majority »

Rat Patrol wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:28pm
Silent Majority wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:22pm
What's the Kennedy curse going to do to this one?
The hair and teeth genes will swap chromosomes when he turns 45 because of a mutation traced to Bobby and Ethel Catholic-breeding themselves a 7th kid too many...and then he'll quickly morph into a narwhal who vomits bright-red weave.
Ah. You took the words right out of my mouth.
a lifetime serving one machine
Is ten times worse than prison


www.pexlives.libsyn.com/

eumaas
User avatar
Klezmer Shogun
Posts: 23579
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 8:10pm
Location: deep in your Id

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by eumaas »

Good to see the noble Habsburgs doing so well.
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Rat Patrol »

This is Joseph P. Sr...the Nazi-sympathizing booze-runner patriarch:
Image

This is Joe P., Jr...most-favored son who got all blowed up over the North Sea before he had a chance to get all blowed up as Preznit, forcing his pill-popper younger brother who couldn't keep his dick in his pants to have to step in as the Plan B'est of Plan B's.
Image

Giuseppe Sr.'s disappointment in his 'lesser' sons knew no bounds, as they could never possibly measure up to 2's natural charisma...or penchant for taking a body count of his own as his bloodied buckshot carcass hit the ground. So it was only a matter of time before a new scion was commissioned to carry the standard-bearer's name anew.

...but wait!!!...hold that third Roman numeral! What's this???

Here is JoJo P. II, "The Fro".
Image

OMIGOD IT'S HYANNIS CLONE WARS!!!66!!!! :whoa:

Born 8 whole years after JJ Jr. forgot the correct firing sequence for dropping a bomb on a U-boat...ostensibly to Bobby while he kept re-loading the Ethel dispenser to shoot Irish-Brahmin tadpoles all over the room like the joyless Catholic quiverfulls they were. But we know the deep dark truth. On orders from the family they scraped samples of JoeJoe2unior's brainmatter and jizz off the rocks of Suffolk when that plane crashed, smuggled it back into the country in a vial stashed in Rose's favorite pack of Marlboros, and quickly assembled a team of Harvard's most dashing young phrenologists to commence "Operation Camelbot." Ethel, granted clemency by the Pope to take a 5-minute break between pregnancies, was designated as carrier host. Bobby was handed a sock and instructed to pass the time falsely outing Communists in the Bureau of Labor Statistics until Ethel was again serviceable for Churchly fishspawning.

They didn't count on the sample of JJr.'s jizz being contaminated with genetic material from invasive North Sea algal blooms, however, as cloning methods inside Ivy League secret drinking societies were somewhat primitive back in those days. The mutation attached itself to Chromosome 47 (all Kennedys have 2.6 extra ones), and a mighty Jewfro sprouted atop II along with incisors that kept growing constantly throughout life unless filed down by gnawing on the tree bark of a particularly rare species of native Nantucket floræ.


Tragically, however, those iconic family games of touch football on the ski slopes with cousins bashing their brains dead into trees uncontrolled at 50 MPH used balls coated in radium for maximum nighttime visibility, as was custom from their ancestors on the old planet. So the DNA mutations kept evolving apace. Until...during that heady Fall of 1980 when Uncle Ted was the very sorest of losers, JoeyJoJoJu³ was born.

Image

EWWWWWWW!!!! :yuck:


The Fro was devastated. But he ultimately learned to love his aberrational loinproduct as one of his own...just like the second head he was sprouting out of a mass of keratin and tooth enamel that had developed sentience under his left earlobe. So much that he blackmailed Barney Frank into retiring with a trumped-up Internet porn sting to give his son the only gift a loving father could: a lifetime seat in Congress bankrolled by the parasitic insurance lobby.

Image

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115976
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Yeah, but Camelot.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Inder
User avatar
corecore vanguard
Posts: 10679
Joined: 14 Jun 2008, 3:28pm

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by Inder »

If you scroll down quickly, the gentleman on the left in Ratty's last photo looks like he has a rat tail.

eumaas
User avatar
Klezmer Shogun
Posts: 23579
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 8:10pm
Location: deep in your Id

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by eumaas »

I think that is my favorite Rattie post ever.
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

JennyB
User avatar
Mossad Van Driver
Posts: 22252
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 1:13pm
Location: Moranjortsville

Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread

Post by JennyB »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:11pm
matedog wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:00pm
It feels good to be vindicated after all these years re:fire crotches. :cool:
No one has ever advocated for male gingers. Ladies, it's always been about ladies.
A truer statement has never been uttered.
Got a Rake? Sure!

IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M

" *sigh* it's right when they throw the penis pump out the window." -Hoy

Post Reply