The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
- Posts: 116680
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
- Location: Straight Banana, Idaho
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
"I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back in Whittier, they're not much bigger than two meters.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
- Heston
- God of Thunder...and Rock 'n Roll
- Posts: 38370
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
- Location: North of Watford Junction
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
The House of Black Diamond.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
It feels good to be vindicated after all these years re:fire crotches.
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
okay, who's the prussian?
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
- Posts: 116680
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
- Location: Straight Banana, Idaho
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
No one has ever advocated for male gingers. Ladies, it's always been about ladies.
"I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back in Whittier, they're not much bigger than two meters.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
-
Silent Majority
- Singer-Songwriter Nancy
- Posts: 18754
- Joined: 10 Nov 2008, 8:28pm
- Location: South Londoner in the Midlands.
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
What's the Kennedy curse going to do to this one?
- Rat Patrol
- Unknown Immortal
- Posts: 15431
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
- Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
The hair and teeth genes will swap chromosomes when he turns 45 because of a paternal grandparent -traced mutation from Bobby and Ethel Catholic-breeding themselves a 7th kid too many...and then he'll quickly morph into a narwhal who vomits bright-red weave.
-
Silent Majority
- Singer-Songwriter Nancy
- Posts: 18754
- Joined: 10 Nov 2008, 8:28pm
- Location: South Londoner in the Midlands.
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
Ah. You took the words right out of my mouth.Rat Patrol wrote: ↑31 Jan 2018, 6:28pmThe hair and teeth genes will swap chromosomes when he turns 45 because of a mutation traced to Bobby and Ethel Catholic-breeding themselves a 7th kid too many...and then he'll quickly morph into a narwhal who vomits bright-red weave.
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
Good to see the noble Habsburgs doing so well.
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
- Rat Patrol
- Unknown Immortal
- Posts: 15431
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
- Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
This is Joseph P. Sr...the Nazi-sympathizing booze-runner patriarch:
This is Joe P., Jr...most-favored son who got all blowed up over the North Sea before he had a chance to get all blowed up as Preznit, forcing his pill-popper younger brother who couldn't keep his dick in his pants to have to step in as the Plan B'est of Plan B's.
Giuseppe Sr.'s disappointment in his 'lesser' sons knew no bounds, as they could never possibly measure up to 2's natural charisma...or penchant for taking a body count of his own as his bloodied buckshot carcass hit the ground. So it was only a matter of time before a new scion was commissioned to carry the standard-bearer's name anew.
...but wait!!!...hold that third Roman numeral! What's this???
Here is JoJo P. II, "The Fro".
OMIGOD IT'S HYANNIS CLONE WARS!!!66!!!!
Born 8 whole years after JJ Jr. forgot the correct firing sequence for dropping a bomb on a U-boat...ostensibly to Bobby while he kept re-loading the Ethel dispenser to shoot Irish-Brahmin tadpoles all over the room like the joyless Catholic quiverfulls they were. But we know the deep dark truth. On orders from the family they scraped samples of JoeJoe2unior's brainmatter and jizz off the rocks of Suffolk when that plane crashed, smuggled it back into the country in a vial stashed in Rose's favorite pack of Marlboros, and quickly assembled a team of Harvard's most dashing young phrenologists to commence "Operation Camelbot." Ethel, granted clemency by the Pope to take a 5-minute break between pregnancies, was designated as carrier host. Bobby was handed a sock and instructed to pass the time falsely outing Communists in the Bureau of Labor Statistics until Ethel was again serviceable for Churchly fishspawning.
They didn't count on the sample of JJr.'s jizz being contaminated with genetic material from invasive North Sea algal blooms, however, as cloning methods inside Ivy League secret drinking societies were somewhat primitive back in those days. The mutation attached itself to Chromosome 47 (all Kennedys have 2.6 extra ones), and a mighty Jewfro sprouted atop II along with incisors that kept growing constantly throughout life unless filed down by gnawing on the tree bark of a particularly rare species of native Nantucket floræ.
Tragically, however, those iconic family games of touch football on the ski slopes with cousins bashing their brains dead into trees uncontrolled at 50 MPH used balls coated in radium for maximum nighttime visibility, as was custom from their ancestors on the old planet. So the DNA mutations kept evolving apace. Until...during that heady Fall of 1980 when Uncle Ted was the very sorest of losers, JoeyJoJoJu³ was born.
EWWWWWWW!!!!
The Fro was devastated. But he ultimately learned to love his aberrational loinproduct as one of his own...just like the second head he was sprouting out of a mass of keratin and tooth enamel that had developed sentience under his left earlobe. So much that he blackmailed Barney Frank into retiring with a trumped-up Internet porn sting to give his son the only gift a loving father could: a lifetime seat in Congress bankrolled by the parasitic insurance lobby.
This is Joe P., Jr...most-favored son who got all blowed up over the North Sea before he had a chance to get all blowed up as Preznit, forcing his pill-popper younger brother who couldn't keep his dick in his pants to have to step in as the Plan B'est of Plan B's.
Giuseppe Sr.'s disappointment in his 'lesser' sons knew no bounds, as they could never possibly measure up to 2's natural charisma...or penchant for taking a body count of his own as his bloodied buckshot carcass hit the ground. So it was only a matter of time before a new scion was commissioned to carry the standard-bearer's name anew.
...but wait!!!...hold that third Roman numeral! What's this???
Here is JoJo P. II, "The Fro".
OMIGOD IT'S HYANNIS CLONE WARS!!!66!!!!
Born 8 whole years after JJ Jr. forgot the correct firing sequence for dropping a bomb on a U-boat...ostensibly to Bobby while he kept re-loading the Ethel dispenser to shoot Irish-Brahmin tadpoles all over the room like the joyless Catholic quiverfulls they were. But we know the deep dark truth. On orders from the family they scraped samples of JoeJoe2unior's brainmatter and jizz off the rocks of Suffolk when that plane crashed, smuggled it back into the country in a vial stashed in Rose's favorite pack of Marlboros, and quickly assembled a team of Harvard's most dashing young phrenologists to commence "Operation Camelbot." Ethel, granted clemency by the Pope to take a 5-minute break between pregnancies, was designated as carrier host. Bobby was handed a sock and instructed to pass the time falsely outing Communists in the Bureau of Labor Statistics until Ethel was again serviceable for Churchly fishspawning.
They didn't count on the sample of JJr.'s jizz being contaminated with genetic material from invasive North Sea algal blooms, however, as cloning methods inside Ivy League secret drinking societies were somewhat primitive back in those days. The mutation attached itself to Chromosome 47 (all Kennedys have 2.6 extra ones), and a mighty Jewfro sprouted atop II along with incisors that kept growing constantly throughout life unless filed down by gnawing on the tree bark of a particularly rare species of native Nantucket floræ.
Tragically, however, those iconic family games of touch football on the ski slopes with cousins bashing their brains dead into trees uncontrolled at 50 MPH used balls coated in radium for maximum nighttime visibility, as was custom from their ancestors on the old planet. So the DNA mutations kept evolving apace. Until...during that heady Fall of 1980 when Uncle Ted was the very sorest of losers, JoeyJoJoJu³ was born.
EWWWWWWW!!!!
The Fro was devastated. But he ultimately learned to love his aberrational loinproduct as one of his own...just like the second head he was sprouting out of a mass of keratin and tooth enamel that had developed sentience under his left earlobe. So much that he blackmailed Barney Frank into retiring with a trumped-up Internet porn sting to give his son the only gift a loving father could: a lifetime seat in Congress bankrolled by the parasitic insurance lobby.
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
- Posts: 116680
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
- Location: Straight Banana, Idaho
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
Yeah, but Camelot.
"I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back in Whittier, they're not much bigger than two meters.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
If you scroll down quickly, the gentleman on the left in Ratty's last photo looks like he has a rat tail.
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
I think that is my favorite Rattie post ever.
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
Re: The Joseph Kennedy III Thread
A truer statement has never been uttered.Dr. Medulla wrote: ↑31 Jan 2018, 6:11pmNo one has ever advocated for male gingers. Ladies, it's always been about ladies.
Got a Rake? Sure!
IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M
" *sigh* it's right when they throw the penis pump out the window." -Hoy
IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M
" *sigh* it's right when they throw the penis pump out the window." -Hoy