Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Sweet action for kids 'n' cretins. Marjoram and capers.
Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115975
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Rat Patrol wrote:Hence, I just plunked down $25 for something called a "shag bag".

And I feel kinda dirty and depressed for doing so. :disshame:

It looks like a fanny pack with an exhaust pipe. I can't even hazard a guess as to what its purpose is or how it works. Or why this is a necessary accessory one can't live without. Or how it in any way, shape, or form improves ones golf game.
It seems like yet one more step to removing any form of physical exertion from golfing. It will become America's sport if they have to replace the pin flag with a McRib on a stick!
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:Hence, I just plunked down $25 for something called a "shag bag".

And I feel kinda dirty and depressed for doing so. :disshame:

It looks like a fanny pack with an exhaust pipe. I can't even hazard a guess as to what its purpose is or how it works. Or why this is a necessary accessory one can't live without. Or how it in any way, shape, or form improves ones golf game.
It seems like yet one more step to removing any form of physical exertion from golfing. It will become America's sport if they have to replace the pin flag with a McRib on a stick!
Which is exactly why I feel so conflicted about basically putting a down payment on the Hoveround somebody will take to a Walmart to exchange one of my 'thoughtful' gifts. :twitch:

Image

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115975
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Rat Patrol wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:Hence, I just plunked down $25 for something called a "shag bag".

And I feel kinda dirty and depressed for doing so. :disshame:

It looks like a fanny pack with an exhaust pipe. I can't even hazard a guess as to what its purpose is or how it works. Or why this is a necessary accessory one can't live without. Or how it in any way, shape, or form improves ones golf game.
It seems like yet one more step to removing any form of physical exertion from golfing. It will become America's sport if they have to replace the pin flag with a McRib on a stick!
Which is exactly why I feel so conflicted about basically putting a down payment on the Hoveround somebody will take to a Walmart to exchange one of my 'thoughtful' gifts. :twitch:

Image
I usually tell people who ask me what I want to just make a donation to an animal shelter. I've mostly got as much stuff as I need. So make a donation to some charity or service in their name (and then see the selfishness of the season bubble up when they react …).
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

revbob
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 25326
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 12:31pm
Location: The Frozen Tundra

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by revbob »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:Hence, I just plunked down $25 for something called a "shag bag".

And I feel kinda dirty and depressed for doing so. :disshame:

It looks like a fanny pack with an exhaust pipe. I can't even hazard a guess as to what its purpose is or how it works. Or why this is a necessary accessory one can't live without. Or how it in any way, shape, or form improves ones golf game.
It seems like yet one more step to removing any form of physical exertion from golfing. It will become America's sport if they have to replace the pin flag with a McRib on a stick!
Which is exactly why I feel so conflicted about basically putting a down payment on the Hoveround somebody will take to a Walmart to exchange one of my 'thoughtful' gifts. :twitch:

Image
I usually tell people who ask me what I want to just make a donation to an animal shelter. I've mostly got as much stuff as I need. So make a donation to some charity or service in their name (and then see the selfishness of the season bubble up when they react …).
Yeah I stopped participating in the giving aspect of Christmas with members of my adult family. They are all fairly well off and it had turned into just buying gift cards for people and them buying them for me, pretty pointless.

Spiff
User avatar
Mostly Nekkid
Posts: 4385
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:23am
Location: In the Spiff Bunker

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Spiff »

Rat Patrol wrote:And that he will use this when playing the links in Florida with his frat buddies and talk about it the next time they go flying cross-country to see a Kenny Chesney concert.
I feel your sense of alienation from your relations.

My brother's kind of a douchnozzle, too.
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?

-- There's no fairytale ending with cocaine.

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

Arsenal Mall, Watertown, MA, 12/19, 3:30pm:

Mall Santa with personal hygiene level at 2 on scale of 10 makes this unmistakable face to me as I pass by: Image


There were no children to be seen in that entire wing of the mall. The Santa's Village looked like it hadn't been visited all day...and that it had been slept in.


Image

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115975
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Rat Patrol wrote:Arsenal Mall, Watertown, MA, 12/19, 3:30pm:

Mall Santa with personal hygiene level at 2 on scale of 10 makes this unmistakable face to me as I pass by: Image
Considering you look like David Berkowitz or Richard Rodriguez or Ted Bundy, I don't blame him. :shifty:
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

tepista
User avatar
Foul-Mouthed Werewolf
Posts: 37871
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:25am
Location: Livin on a fault line, Waiting on the big one

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by tepista »

Rat Patrol wrote:Arsenal Mall, Watertown, MA, 12/19, 3:30pm:

Mall Santa with personal hygiene level at 2 on scale of 10 makes this unmistakable face to me as I pass by: Image


There were no children to be seen in that entire wing of the mall. The Santa's Village looked like it hadn't been visited all day...and that it had been slept in.
I wouldn't mind seeing that for a laugh. I did see a borracho in a santa hat passed out on high school lawn on sunday.
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

Spiff
User avatar
Mostly Nekkid
Posts: 4385
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:23am
Location: In the Spiff Bunker

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Spiff »

Rat Patrol wrote:Arsenal Mall, Watertown, MA, 12/19, 3:30pm:

Mall Santa with personal hygiene level at 2 on scale of 10 makes this unmistakable face to me as I pass by: Image


There were no children to be seen in that entire wing of the mall. The Santa's Village looked like it hadn't been visited all day...and that it had been slept in.


Image
This prompts me to remind you all that "The Santaland Diaries" by David Sedaris is a great one-man play. If it's being presented anywhere near you, go out and see this subversive masterpiece.
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?

-- There's no fairytale ending with cocaine.

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115975
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Spiff wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:Arsenal Mall, Watertown, MA, 12/19, 3:30pm:

Mall Santa with personal hygiene level at 2 on scale of 10 makes this unmistakable face to me as I pass by: Image


There were no children to be seen in that entire wing of the mall. The Santa's Village looked like it hadn't been visited all day...and that it had been slept in.


Image
This prompts me to remind you all that "The Santaland Diaries" by David Sedaris is a great one-man play. If it's being presented anywhere near you, go out and see this subversive masterpiece.
I've only listened to the audiobook reading, but it is superb. So is his essay "Six to Eight Black Men," about the Dutch Christmas tradition. My mother was born in Holland, so I grew up knowing the story of Sinterklaas and Black Peter, which has made Sedaris' analysis even funnier. Seriously, take fifteen minutes and listen to this—you won't regret it.
[youtube][/youtube]
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Wolter
User avatar
Half Foghorn Leghorn, Half Albert Brooks
Posts: 55432
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 7:59pm
Location: ¡HOLIDAY RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OAD!

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Wolter »

Well, it's not candy...

Image
”INDER LOCK THE THE KISS THREAD IVE REALISED IM A PRZE IDOOT” - Thomas Jefferson

"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

This year's traumatizing Xmas Yankee Swap gift I got stuck with:

http://www.spencersonline.com/product/t ... ng-santa1/


Bonus: it was from extended family. X(

Dr. Medulla
User avatar
Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115975
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Rat Patrol wrote:This year's traumatizing Xmas Yankee Swap gift I got stuck with:

http://www.spencersonline.com/product/t ... ng-santa1/


Bonus: it was from extended family. X(
Screen Shot 2013-12-30 at 12.59.07 PM.png
Screen Shot 2013-12-30 at 12.59.07 PM.png (108.73 KiB) Viewed 4650 times
Clearly.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

CorwoodRep
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 6365
Joined: 17 Jun 2008, 2:39am

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by CorwoodRep »

Love this thread title.
"Put down the meth, boy." - TeddyB, 2013.

Rat Patrol
User avatar
Unknown Immortal
Posts: 15431
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles

Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

http://americablog.com/2014/01/woman-st ... -beer.html

Christmas in the Beaneater family wasn't so peaceful this year.

Post Reply