Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Sweet action for kids 'n' cretins. Marjoram and capers.
Wolter
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Wolter »

I would like to agree 100% on Elizabeth Montgomery.
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Flex »

tepista wrote:Post war apocalypse and she and Chuck Bronson are the last two people on what might be Earth. They don't speak the same language so at first they're at odds, but loneliness eventually breaks them down. Episode is called "Two"
One of the finest half hours of television ever.

Addnendum: And let it be known, I also sign onto the Elizabeth Montgomery accords.
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Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by daredevil »

Flex wrote:
tepista wrote:Post war apocalypse and she and Chuck Bronson are the last two people on what might be Earth. They don't speak the same language so at first they're at odds, but loneliness eventually breaks them down. Episode is called "Two"
One of the finest half hours of television ever.
Yes. It's one of my favorite TZ episodes.

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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

To complete the thread mutation into hot actresses, the other day I watched an old House episode that featured a lesbian couple and one is seriously insomniac. Her partner is played, I learned, by Dahlia Salem, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Phoebe Cates. She's also got a name that screams Hollywood, so I gather she's not much of an actress.

Image
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Silent Majority »

I've said it before, but Elizabeth Montgomery was one of my first ever crushes. Maybe eight years old, watching Bewitched on Channel Four in the morning.
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Olaf »

tepista wrote:
Spiff wrote:
tepista wrote:Image
Ha! Santa's belt buckle says he wants "ANL" :scared:
YES! KORNGOLD!
Image
Who pfaffed the pfaff? Who got pfaffed tonight?

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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by tepista »

Image
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Marky Dread »

Image
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by tepista »

This is what I want for Xmas

Image
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Spiff »

tepista wrote:This is what I want for Xmas

Image
Why are those two electrical cords going up his pants leg? :shifty:
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Spiff wrote:
tepista wrote:This is what I want for Xmas

Image
Why are those two electrical cords going up his pants leg? :shifty:
1950S ROBOT MAN COOKING HOT DOGS IN A CAR! JUST LIKE MY DREAM!
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Image
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Image
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Marky Dread
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Marky Dread »

Dr. Medulla wrote:Image
Ahh look she bought that nice man an orange suit for Xmas.
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks

Post by Rat Patrol »

Because this is the most appropriate thread for it...


I like to think of myself as a thoughtful gift selector...trying to put real effort into finding something that scratch's a person's itch because that makes a gift more personal and thus meaningful. I hate "product" and the race for quantity of product. Well, my family never makes that easy on me. They never give any hint as to what they want, and anything you do get them has a 50/50 chance of getting returned via the gift receipt because they're anal enough to only take product they purchase. So after years of frustration I've sort of settled into a truce of just badgering them for their lists, and usually getting a bunch of online catalog links back in a terse e-mail for the *specific* product they want. In other words, little more than cash compensation for what they were going to buy anyway with implicit offer to pick it up from the store for them. Totally antiseptic, but whatever...it saves the indignity of wasting thoughtful effort on something they were just gonna return anyway.


My brother's one of the worst when it comes to not being able to get 'thoughtful' gifts for. So I get his list. And he's a golf fanatic, so his list was all these specialized little pieces of golf equipment that I'm pretty sure is just one big scam that a bunch of guys in a boardroom are laughing at, like, "HA! We can have the boys in the lab throw any nonsensical contraption with no purpose together, overprice it, and those status-obsessed rubes will still buy it because they don't know better!"

Hence, I just plunked down $25 for something called a "shag bag".

And I feel kinda dirty and depressed for doing so. :disshame:

It looks like a fanny pack with an exhaust pipe. I can't even hazard a guess as to what its purpose is or how it works. Or why this is a necessary accessory one can't live without. Or how it in any way, shape, or form improves ones golf game. All I know is it's the only thing from a choice of 4 equally baffling and obscure golf accessories e-mailed to me in URL form with no explanation that he will not immediately return. And that he will use this when playing the links in Florida with his frat buddies and talk about it the next time they go flying cross-country to see a Kenny Chesney concert. Thus, this absolutely senseless product is a more SUCCESSFUL purchase than anything I could've expended an ounce's thought in.



In conclusion: Christmas dicks. :shifty:

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