It's not Christmas without beer. But next year they can say it's not Christmas without cops.Rat Patrol wrote:http://americablog.com/2014/01/woman-st ... -beer.html
Christmas in the Beaneater family wasn't so peaceful this year.
Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
- tepista
- Foul-Mouthed Werewolf
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
- Rat Patrol
- Unknown Immortal
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- Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles
- Rat Patrol
- Unknown Immortal
- Posts: 15431
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 9:23pm
- Location: A flat burning junkheap for twenty square miles
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
What would it take to get one of you to wear this?Rat Patrol wrote:https://store.tedcruz.org/product/cruz- ... s-sweater/
https://store.tedcruz.org/product/coura ... z-t-shirt/
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
- Rat Patrol
- Unknown Immortal
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
I hedged on posting in the "FAO Flex" thread for a second...but then thought, "Why not both?"
- Rat Patrol
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
At my parents' house...and my Mom has Pandora randomly picking Xmas music on the stereo.
We are now in the second hour of "A Hipster Christmas." ¹⁹⁸⁹
Everything sounds like those twee "oh-oh oh" singers on the Oversock.com commercials, and has completely inappropriate instrumentals...like, banjo on "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies", a New Orleans jazz "Hallelujah Chorus", the whitest-reggae "Blue Christmas" ever (but still with the faux-Elvis vox), and so many different versions of "Baby Its Cold Outside" I'm in mortal terror that somebody has spiked my cup of Dunkies with PBR that's been spiked with roofies and is about to beardrape me fedora-first.
Please kill me. For all that is humane and un-ironic, please.
We are now in the second hour of "A Hipster Christmas." ¹⁹⁸⁹
Everything sounds like those twee "oh-oh oh" singers on the Oversock.com commercials, and has completely inappropriate instrumentals...like, banjo on "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies", a New Orleans jazz "Hallelujah Chorus", the whitest-reggae "Blue Christmas" ever (but still with the faux-Elvis vox), and so many different versions of "Baby Its Cold Outside" I'm in mortal terror that somebody has spiked my cup of Dunkies with PBR that's been spiked with roofies and is about to beardrape me fedora-first.
Please kill me. For all that is humane and un-ironic, please.
- Rat Patrol
- Unknown Immortal
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
Update:
So after enough anguished wailing in protest, I got them to turn off the twee Portlandia channel. But not before having to thumbs-down the "Best of Christmas 70's", "Best of Christmas 80's", "Best of Christmas 90's", "Christmas Duets", "Christmas Coffee Shop", and "The Whitest R&B Christmas That Ever Was White, Featuring Very Very White People Covering That One Mariah Carey Song" channels. I finally gave up at the "An Electronic Christmas" channel, since the featured artist was something called the Berlin Orchestra...and that struck me as something that would be a twee-free zone. Maybe even an asteroid strike's odds of catching a fleeting Bowie '76 moment.
Well...I was half-right. It wasn't twee. It wasn't Bowie-esque, either. It was, as it turned out, quite very Olaf.
So, in short, I now know what the Scrap Dealer Flautist Chorale sounds like playing keytars splitternackt on a children's carousel. Know it forever. ᵊ
So after enough anguished wailing in protest, I got them to turn off the twee Portlandia channel. But not before having to thumbs-down the "Best of Christmas 70's", "Best of Christmas 80's", "Best of Christmas 90's", "Christmas Duets", "Christmas Coffee Shop", and "The Whitest R&B Christmas That Ever Was White, Featuring Very Very White People Covering That One Mariah Carey Song" channels. I finally gave up at the "An Electronic Christmas" channel, since the featured artist was something called the Berlin Orchestra...and that struck me as something that would be a twee-free zone. Maybe even an asteroid strike's odds of catching a fleeting Bowie '76 moment.
Well...I was half-right. It wasn't twee. It wasn't Bowie-esque, either. It was, as it turned out, quite very Olaf.
So, in short, I now know what the Scrap Dealer Flautist Chorale sounds like playing keytars splitternackt on a children's carousel. Know it forever. ᵊ
- Rat Patrol
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
Final observations, now that the Pandora has been shut off and the TV has come on to watch Ralphie shoot his eye out again:
"So this is what registered Democrats listen to the whole month before they go out and vote for 4 more years of tyrrany, huh?"
:(
"So this is what registered Democrats listen to the whole month before they go out and vote for 4 more years of tyrrany, huh?"
:(
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
Leo Sayer?Rat Patrol wrote:Final observations, now that the Pandora has been shut off and the TV has come on to watch Ralphie shoot his eye out again:
"So this is what registered Democrats listen to the whole month before they go out and vote for 4 more years of tyrrany, huh?"
:(
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
- Rat Patrol
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
It's almost that time of year again. . .
- Marky Dread
- Messiah of the Milk Bar
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Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
I read about this yesterday and thought great stuff. Didn't go down too well though.
Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty
We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.
"Without the common people you're nothing"
Nos Sumus Una Familia
- Marky Dread
- Messiah of the Milk Bar
- Posts: 58977
- Joined: 17 Jun 2008, 11:26am
Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty
We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.
"Without the common people you're nothing"
Nos Sumus Una Familia
- tepista
- Foul-Mouthed Werewolf
- Posts: 37911
- Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:25am
- Location: Livin on a fault line, Waiting on the big one
Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
A lot of the original pics aren't showing so I Googled "Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks" for a reminder, and a bunch of photos of Liz Montgomery came up. IMCT changes the world.
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
- Posts: 116595
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
- Location: Straight Banana, Idaho
Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Re: Offical Thread of Christmas Candy that Looks Like Dicks
The fuckers deserved it.
Let fury have the hour, anger can be power
D'you know that you can use it?
-- There's no fairytale ending with cocaine.
D'you know that you can use it?
-- There's no fairytale ending with cocaine.