You know you are getting old when the injuries you used to get from playing sports you now get from doing fuck all and for no apparent reason.
You may have read my post a few months back about throwing my neck out while washing my hair.
I thought that was a euphemism
I have hurt myself doing the following things in the past year:
1. Sleeping
2. Sneezing
3. Walking at a regular pace over flat ground
I find this list of your weaknesses VERY illuminating.
He also cries while watching GI Joe cartoons. It's simultaneously sweet and sickening.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
I just turned 50 and after living a life of working outdoors on ships in the summer and working as a stagehand in the winter I've got so many aches and pains and have had several surgeries but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Everytime something hurts, it makes me smile and think oh I had a good time getting that one
I have hurt myself doing the following things in the past year:
1. Sleeping
2. Sneezing
3. Walking at a regular pace over flat ground
I find this list of your weaknesses VERY illuminating.
He also cries while watching GI Joe cartoons. It's simultaneously sweet and sickening.
I HAVE NEVER CRIED WHILE WATCHING THE CARTOON.
IT WAS THE COMIC. WHEN KWINN DIED.
Speaking as a Euro-Canadian, your empathy for him is confounding.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
edit: Additional side note: Holy crap but tiger balm penetrates the muscles. Definitely worth smelling like I'm wearing a cinnamon cologne.
Oh man, second year undergrad I lived with the basketball team, who had their rookie night at our house. One of the hazing things was to wear a jock loaded with tiger balm. This was their third or fourth stop, so everyone was already really drunk when they were instructed to disrobe and led to the dark basement and told to put on the jocks — which they didn't know were laced with the deadly poison.
edit: Additional side note: Holy crap but tiger balm penetrates the muscles. Definitely worth smelling like I'm wearing a cinnamon cologne.
Oh man, second year undergrad I lived with the basketball team, who had their rookie night at our house. One of the hazing things was to wear a jock loaded with tiger balm. This was their third or fourth stop, so everyone was already really drunk when they were instructed to disrobe and led to the dark basement and told to put on the jocks — which they didn't know were laced with the deadly poison.
I'll never forget the screams.
That's horrible. Absolutely nothing penetrates deeply like tiger balm and activates like pure fire. How many of those guys ended up being sterile?
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Okay, this will be a totally duh observation (it is, after all, my speciality), but because I don't do Facebook or anything like that, my encounters with people with whom I went to high school is very rare. One guy whom I hadn't thought of in maybe twenty years popped into my head this morning, so I hunted him down and found his Facebook page. And it turns out he's "friends" with pretty much everyone we went to high school with, so my voyeur activities expanded considerably. And, holy crap, the vast majority of them look seriously old. Beaten-up by life old. Flabby and wrinkly old. Nose getting bigger old. Not aging gracefully, but slammed by a wizard's curse. Sure, the top of my head does not suggest youth, but I was in a rare situation of looking at others, comparing them to me, and feeling pretty good about myself.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Okay, this will be a totally duh observation (it is, after all, my speciality), but because I don't do Facebook or anything like that, my encounters with people with whom I went to high school is very rare. One guy whom I hadn't thought of in maybe twenty years popped into my head this morning, so I hunted him down and found his Facebook page. And it turns out he's "friends" with pretty much everyone we went to high school with, so my voyeur activities expanded considerably. And, holy crap, the vast majority of them look seriously old. Beaten-up by life old. Flabby and wrinkly old. Nose getting bigger old. Not aging gracefully, but slammed by a wizard's curse. Sure, the top of my head does not suggest youth, but I was in a rare situation of looking at others, comparing them to me, and feeling pretty good about myself.
Any Biff Tannens failing satisfyingly?
a lifetime serving one machine
Is ten times worse than prison
Okay, this will be a totally duh observation (it is, after all, my speciality), but because I don't do Facebook or anything like that, my encounters with people with whom I went to high school is very rare. One guy whom I hadn't thought of in maybe twenty years popped into my head this morning, so I hunted him down and found his Facebook page. And it turns out he's "friends" with pretty much everyone we went to high school with, so my voyeur activities expanded considerably. And, holy crap, the vast majority of them look seriously old. Beaten-up by life old. Flabby and wrinkly old. Nose getting bigger old. Not aging gracefully, but slammed by a wizard's curse. Sure, the top of my head does not suggest youth, but I was in a rare situation of looking at others, comparing them to me, and feeling pretty good about myself.
Any Biff Tannens failing satisfyingly?
An alarming number of people still living in that same shitty hometown that has gotten shittier since I escaped. I'm betraying a cosmopolitan snobbery here, but I regard that as failure. The next and final time that I'll set foot in that town is my mother's funeral.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Okay, this will be a totally duh observation (it is, after all, my speciality), but because I don't do Facebook or anything like that, my encounters with people with whom I went to high school is very rare. One guy whom I hadn't thought of in maybe twenty years popped into my head this morning, so I hunted him down and found his Facebook page. And it turns out he's "friends" with pretty much everyone we went to high school with, so my voyeur activities expanded considerably. And, holy crap, the vast majority of them look seriously old. Beaten-up by life old. Flabby and wrinkly old. Nose getting bigger old. Not aging gracefully, but slammed by a wizard's curse. Sure, the top of my head does not suggest youth, but I was in a rare situation of looking at others, comparing them to me, and feeling pretty good about myself.
Any Biff Tannens failing satisfyingly?
An alarming number of people still living in that same shitty hometown that has gotten shittier since I escaped. I'm betraying a cosmopolitan snobbery here, but I regard that as failure. The next and final time that I'll set foot in that town is my mother's funeral.
Six months living in West Michigan alerted me to the fact that few there ever leave. We do a weekend a month in Chicago of Detroit so that we can eat seasoned food when we dine out. I find that people think we are very exotic.