The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

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The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Rat Patrol » 25 Aug 2010, 11:42pm

http://www.theonion.com/articles/smart- ... g-a,17954/

Fuck, The Onion's so awesome I think it finally deserves its own thread to lord upon.
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 26 Aug 2010, 6:45am

Back in '96, when B and I were in NC, my folks came down to visit. We drove up to Virginia to see … something to do with Woodrow Wilson … and were listening to the news on the radio. There was a story about SC looking to buy other states' nuclear waste and sink it in the swamp. B, my mother, and I expressed various shades of horror, but my dad confidently said, "There are minds greater than ours working on these problems." He didn't enjoy my response that it was those same great minds that created those problems. But he was from a generation where experts and smart people solved problems (and didn't acknowledge the problems they caused).
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Wolter » 26 Aug 2010, 6:58pm

"There's something more honest, he believed, about traditional methods of mass starvation, labour camps, and machine gunning millions to death. Stalin was a vinyl guy who sneered at Truman converting everything to compact disc." - Thomas Jefferson

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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Inder » 26 Aug 2010, 7:09pm


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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by JennyB » 26 Aug 2010, 8:40pm

This is my all time favorite, also a classic: http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinto ... -iraq,645/
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 26 Aug 2010, 9:18pm

JennyB wrote:This is my all time favorite, also a classic: http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinto ... -iraq,645/
I am such a bad person because I can't help but laugh at retard(ed) jokes.
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by CorwoodRep » 26 Aug 2010, 11:57pm

It's weird because a friend of mine works there and I had the chance to, but most of the lower-ranking people who work there, like, write the video tickers or news in brief, have to submit 20, 40 ideas a week with minimal recycling, and there are a lot of rules about how to do shit. The atmosphere is shockingly corporate and not fun at all. Dude quit a job because the Onion ate up too much of his time each week. And for the year he's worked there, he's gotten a grand total of zero things on the front page. A lot of the ideas are for long-term in-development TV and web projects.
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by JennyB » 27 Aug 2010, 11:02am

Billy Joel wrote:It's weird because a friend of mine works there and I had the chance to, but most of the lower-ranking people who work there, like, write the video tickers or news in brief, have to submit 20, 40 ideas a week with minimal recycling, and there are a lot of rules about how to do shit. The atmosphere is shockingly corporate and not fun at all. Dude quit a job because the Onion ate up too much of his time each week. And for the year he's worked there, he's gotten a grand total of zero things on the front page. A lot of the ideas are for long-term in-development TV and web projects.
That doesn't surprise me at all.
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by JennyB » 27 Aug 2010, 11:03am

Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:This is my all time favorite, also a classic: http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinto ... -iraq,645/
I am such a bad person because I can't help but laugh at retard(ed) jokes.
I see that article much more as an indictment of people who go overboard to praise people solely for their developmental disabilities. Or so I keep telling myself. :shifty:
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 27 Aug 2010, 11:04am

JennyB wrote:
Billy Joel wrote:It's weird because a friend of mine works there and I had the chance to, but most of the lower-ranking people who work there, like, write the video tickers or news in brief, have to submit 20, 40 ideas a week with minimal recycling, and there are a lot of rules about how to do shit. The atmosphere is shockingly corporate and not fun at all. Dude quit a job because the Onion ate up too much of his time each week. And for the year he's worked there, he's gotten a grand total of zero things on the front page. A lot of the ideas are for long-term in-development TV and web projects.
That doesn't surprise me at all.
To be fair, high quality comedy, especially satire, isn't easy, so having a demanding structure around it probably is necessary. Writing has to be treated as a job; if you're just waiting for inspiration, you're going to spend a lot of time jerking off.
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Wolter » 27 Aug 2010, 11:05am

JennyB wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:This is my all time favorite, also a classic: http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinto ... -iraq,645/
I am such a bad person because I can't help but laugh at retard(ed) jokes.
I see that article much more as an indictment of people who go overboard to praise people solely for their developmental disabilities. Or so I keep telling myself. :shifty:
Whatever. Don Tardos are just funny.
"There's something more honest, he believed, about traditional methods of mass starvation, labour camps, and machine gunning millions to death. Stalin was a vinyl guy who sneered at Truman converting everything to compact disc." - Thomas Jefferson

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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 27 Aug 2010, 11:08am

JennyB wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:
JennyB wrote:This is my all time favorite, also a classic: http://www.theonion.com/articles/clinto ... -iraq,645/
I am such a bad person because I can't help but laugh at retard(ed) jokes.
I see that article much more as an indictment of people who go overboard to praise people solely for their developmental disabilities. Or so I keep telling myself. :shifty:
Oh definitely. The joke is on the overtly sensitive and reassuring types who make huge displays of everything. And yet, those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going.
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 27 Aug 2010, 3:22pm

Walrus birth doesn't make good breakfast conversation!

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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by Dr. Medulla » 10 Sep 2010, 9:56am

Could go in the MLB thread, but I'll give this one a bump.
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Re: The Mighty America's Finest News Source Thread

Post by tepista » 13 Sep 2010, 7:07pm

We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

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