Rat Patrol wrote: ↑18 Jul 2018, 7:56am
Flight is booked for 2 weeks from today to the left coast for 3 days/nights camping in Yosemite National Park. My college roomie is throwing his 40th b'day/"Hooray! My Ugly Divorce is Final" early-midlife crisis debauchery bash with a dozen other well-wishers, including some friends I haven't seen in eons. With enough booze and drugs in-tow to melt the Sierra Nevada into a puddle of carbonaceous fizz. Hopefully the main road into the park won't be on fire by then...
because it totally is right now.
Hmm...1.1 million square miles of wilderness. That's a lot of places to hide a body dump.
Welp...smoke from the Pyromania '18 festival this weekend officially closed the campgrounds I was due to stay at because of unbreathable air from a fire line that's only 20 miles away. So Cali vacation in just 2 days got a whole lot more interesting. We're trying for a Plan B campsite in wine country (which, yes, is
ALSO on-fire) on Clear Lake. Lots of cancellations there since there's about 30,000 acres en flambé about 20 miles west, but at least a cooperating wind. It'll smell like victory, for sure.
Plan C is taking a longest-ass drive up to the Redwoods where my friend has some connections at a resort he used to work at to maybe bum a cabin outside the national forest...which is 200 miles from the nearest fire but you never know which hippie who fell asleep with a blunt will make for a new ground zero.
If all else fails, Plan D is to bum around the Bay Area for 4 days. It's not on-fire, but I heard there's a Dunkin Donuts in Fremont now so Hoyworld may well be consumed by a firenado after I'm done mocking NoCal tech-brahs' excruciating slow ordering habits.
So far I've been told that if I don't hear otherwise in the next 48 hours to pack "for city or country". Which should be interesting since the flight to Oakland only allows 1 carry-on and I have to lug it for 6 blocks from my apartment, on a bus, on an MBTA commuter train, on a Logan Airport shuttle, on an Oakland Airport shuttle, on a BART train, and for another 6 Oakland city blocks en route...so I was kind of hoping to pack light.
Meh. Either way I'm going to be drunk/high as fuck for the duration. Maybe drunk/high breathing in the ash from a million broken dreams...maybe drunk/high circling Hoy's block at night with the lights off in a Hertz rental KILLvan. Either way there will be death and pestilence.