tepista wrote: ↑24 Nov 2017, 3:14pm
Subspecies (1991) Evil, long-fingered vampire Radu returns to claim and throne and the precious Bloodstone from his father, the Vampire King (Phantasm’s Angus Scrimm in a short role). Apparently, the recent vampire reign in Romania has been villager-friendly until now. Radu’s goody-two-shoes half brother, Stefan, shows up to protect the three hot chicks that are staying at an inn close by the castle. The subspecies are these little Claymation demons that grew from Radu’s fingers when he pulled them off. They didn’t really do it for me, but I did like Dracula-ish story. Of the 3 girls, one showed a tit, and another showed two, though one at a time. Ted Nicolaou directs this, as well as three sequels for Full Moon.
TerrorVision (1986) A suburban family gets a new satellite dish, and a hungry space monster gets zapped into it and starts eating everybody. Mary Woronov and Gerrit Graham are the swinging parents, and Diane Franklin is the hot teenage daughter in a ridiculous “punk rock” wig. Grandpa and young son chase it around with rifles. Fun brainless stuff that Ted Nicalou directed for Charles Band in the pre-Full Moon days.
I didn’t intend to have a Ted Nicolau film festival, but it just happened that way.
Horror of Dracula (1958) After Hammer films hit it big with Curse of Frankenstein a year earlier, they return with an equally great version of Dracula. Jonathan Harker travels to Castle Dracula to kill the count, but Dracula (Christopher Lee) and his sexy vampire bride turn the tables on him. The bride doesn't make it out alive, so Drac goes to town to replace her with Harker's fiancee Lucy and her sister Mina. (characters playing different parts than they did in the book) Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) and Mina's husband Arthur (Michael Gough) fight to protect them. No Renfield. The standout scene for me is when the protagonists encounter a freshly-risen-from-the-grave Lucy. Lee wouldn’t return for the sequel, Brides of Dracula, but he would be back to play Dracula six more times for Hammer.
Curse of Frankenstein (1957) Hammer revives the classic monster genre nearly 20 years after Universal decided to parody it. Peter Cushing is the doctor obsessed with bringing his creation to life, and his assistant wants no part of it, though he does hang around to protect the lovely Hazel Court when she shows up as the fiancé who was promised to the young Baron when he was a teenager. Christopher Lee plays the pathetic creature who gets brought back multiple times. Knowing they probably couldn’t compete with the classic Karloff portrayal of the monster, Hammer plays on the villainy of the mad doctor. Cushing would reprise the role four more times.
Night of the Demon aka Curse of the Demon (1957) Dana Andrews is an American scientist who arrives in England to join a fellow researcher to debunk a Satan Worshiper and his cult. When he arrives, his colleague has been killed from an apparent auto accident, but his niece is quite sure there were supernatural forces involved, based on the readings of his daily journal. When the Satanist meets Andrews, his slips him a parchment and informs him that he has 3 days to live unless he calls off his dogs. Andrews, a non-believer who won’t be swayed, continues to think there’s a logical explanation for all the supernatural things happening around him, even though they mirror the incidents in his dead colleagues journal. I root hard for the villain in this one. "Drag Me To Hell" owes a lot to this film. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 50s Satanism at it’s best.
Little Shop of Horrors (1960) A hapless flower shop employee creates a hybrid plant from a venus flytrap that grows to enormous size when it feeds on human blood. The store owner is thrilled at all business the novelty plant brigs in, but soon realizes that the plant, who now talks and is large enough to eat humans whole, must be stopped. Charming little comedy from Roger Corman.
Pet (2016) A dog pound employee kidnaps a waitress he's been stalking, but she may not be who we think she is, and he may have a motive that could surprise you. I wasn't too fond of the characters.
Plague of the Zombies (1966) Hammer film, about a small town doctor who can’t figure out why 12 people have died in 12 months, enlists the help of his old professor. They dig up the graves to find them empty. The local rich guy has turned them all into zombies using Haitian VooDoo, and has them doing slave labor in his mine. There was also a bit similar to Dracula where one girl gets isck, rises and is killed, while the other needs to be rescued form the same fate, like Lucy and Mina. It was not bad.
War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) Planet of the Apes meet Death Wish! No, not really, but Caesar is out for revenge against Woody Harrelson after he kills his family. Lots of action, and not a bad as I had heard. I had meant to see this in theater but it didn’t work out. I was entertained.
Liquid Sky (1982) Invisible aliens land on the NYC rooftop of an apartment inhabited by a female heroin dealer and her lesbian girlfriend. The aliens find out that a chemical excreted by the human brain during orgasm is THEIR heroin, so they extract it and kill every single person the girlfriend had sex with, and that’s a lot of people! Meanwhile a German scientist knocks on a strangers door and asks if he can use her apartment to view the alien activities across the street and she says yes because she's lonely! Experimental stuff, and very “new wave”. Anne Carlisle plays the girlfriend and the main male part in drag as well. She also co-wrote. Slave Tsukerman was the other writer, and he directed. Paula Sheppard was the drug dealer, her other notable credit, her only other credit in fact, was the title character in the 1976 horror classic Alice, Sweet Alice.
Lady Terminator (1989) Incredibly batshit Indonesian produced sleaze must be seen to be believed. The “South Seas Queen” with insatiable sexual appetite kills all her lovers during sex when the snake that lives in her cooch bites her partners dicks off. That is until the 100th lover, who snatches the snatch-snake and turns it into a dagger, which banishes her to the bottom of the ocean, where she vows revenge on his great granddaughter 100 years later. This is all in the first 10 minutes. Pretty American girl, Tania, is an anthropologist who is studying the Legend of the South Seas Queen and delivers great dialog like “Stop calling me ‘lady', I’m not a lady, I’m an anthropologist.” The queen possesses her body and she rises from the sea to kill the great granddaughter, an Indonesian pop singer, but not before she bangs a bunch more guys to death with a cooch-snake of her own. So where’s the Terminator connection? She shoots up a nightclub, she drives a car into a police station, all the while taking bullet after bullet and getting back up. The American cop even says “Come with me if you want to live.” Wait a minute, wasn’t T2 two years later? I’ll ponder that another time. Never a dull moment with loads of violence and nudity. This will be in the Top 5 so-bad-its-good movies you’ve ever seen, I stake my reputation on it.
Trailer Park of Terror (2008) A pastor and a bus full of troubled teens crash during a storm and seek refuge in an abandoned trailer park. The same trailer park that was the site of a big massacre all those years ago! Soon enough they find their lives threatened by the ghosts of the former inhabitants, led by super-sexy trailer park princess, Norma. I saw this several years ago, and with less than zero expectations and I thought it was great. Now a few years later I realize it’s not quite as good as I remembered, but still worth a look. Nichole Hiltz would be the main reason to watch, she was beautiful, and fantastic as Norma. Pricilla Barnes (Three’s Company) was Norma’s mom in flashback scenes.
Subspecies 2: Bloodstone (1993) The evil, long-fingered vampire, Radu, was not down for the count as it appeared, and now he’s after Michelle, the lone survivor and bite victim from the first film. She made it out of the castle with the precious “Bloodstone” and flees to a hotel in Bucharest, but after she “dies” and wakes up in an ambulance, she goes on the run and struggles with her urges to feed. She bites a rocker at a heavy metal club she starts to frequent. Ted Nicolau returns to write and direct, but only Anders Hove reprises his role as Radu. Michelle was replaced by a different actress, and Melanie Shatner (yes, she does have a famous dad) is Michelle’s sister who comes from America to help. Also added is Radu’s mother, an evil sorceress who skin appears to be burned beyond recognition. Hey, these Subspecies movies ain’t so bad! Some nudity.
Annabelle: Creation (2017) Anthony LaPaglia and his wife are dollmakers who lose their young daughter in an accident, then invite a bunch of orphan girls and a hot nun to stay with them 12 years later. Apparently they mean well even though they know there’s some black magic shit going on. The cutest of the orphans (with polio) finds the Annabelle doll, then all the possession stuff begins. I thought the first Annabelle was one of the worst movies in recent memory, and this one was barley better than that. Another of the orphans was also in Ouija: Origin of Evil, I guess she’s going for the title of Princess of Crappy Prequels. The director also did Lights Out, I won’t even tell you what I thought of that. I blame myself for not staying in my lane.
