The Quotable Tepista

[Flex]

The ass tautology line is still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever read.

Which one?

On Tautology:
So, somebody who doesn't shove things up their ass wouldn't automatically think to shove something up their ass. Makes sense.

[Dr. Medulla]

Spots in paradise will be reserved for tep and those who have preserved his wisdom here.

[CorwoodRep]

On Prestige Films, Criticism Of:

I watched the first half of The Blind Side in a doctor's office lobby this morning. I'll probably never see the end, they bang, right?

[Rat Patrol]

On Coverage You Can Count On:
Sometimes when something big is going on (like mass shootings, etc) I like to watch FOX just to see what they do.

[Spiff]

On the GOP's difficulty in getting votes from single women:

No, you un-gay the homosexuals and they marry the single women. Problem solved, duh.

[CorwoodRep]

On America, Race Relations In:

hahaha, my friend Ana asked what brand of champagne should she bring and I said bring one Dom in case the white guy wins and one Crystal in case the black guy wins.

[JennyB]

On Cliches, The Horror Movie Variety:

Saw a horror flick with Shelley Winters last night and she kept rabbits. Said to the wife "any horror movie that has rabbits, you can take it to the bank that those rabbits are gonna end up dead." Of course they did.

[CorwoodRep]

On American cinema, historical context of:

I just Googled to see if there was a porno called Schindler's Fist, and not only does it exist, but there's also one called Assablanca!

[CorwoodRep]

On rockism, the 1970s critical theory of:

Alright, here's the thing about Bruce Springfield and the flea-street Orchestra....when he put his band together he made a conscious decision that every song was gonna have a sax solo instead of a guitar solo. So his instead of taking a chance on being awesome, he sounds like a keg-party outfit auditioning to be the Saturday Night Live house band.

[Wolter]

On the Death of Kurt Cobain:
You can't help but wonder how the same music would have been had he lived.

On the Death of Kurt Cobain, (cont.):
The world would be overrun with Foo, since Grohl wouldn't have been available to fight it.

[Rat Patrol]

On schadenfreude amongst friends:
Now tell them their wives are sluts and remind them you are usually right about things.

[Mimi]

On co-workers commenting on your food:

Where I work yes. Nobody ever shuts up about anyone else's food. I'm serious.

And if you step out and bring something back without telling someone...watch the fuck out. "You went to the Shit Shack, home of the overpriced, fart-flavored, dog-meat hoagie and you didn't tell everyone? OK, just wait til I go somewhere and don't tell you."

[CorwoodRep]

"Shit-Shack" gave me a hearty lol.

[Wolter]

On SyFy Programming
They repeat everything, if I see something with a description that interests me, I'll see it eventually. Anyway, the entire point is that the little girl from Wonder Years has huge fucking tits.

[Rat Patrol]

On sabermetric Death Pooling:
The first wrestler to go on Dr. Drew is deader than a Mexican Police Chief.