You had me until you claimed his eyes are sexier than St. Derek's. Those calm and sexy eyes have induced double plays (as long as the ball wasn't hit to his left) and spread his herpes throughout the celebrity A list.Mimi wrote:Dr. Medulla wrote:Mutation!Mimi wrote:Can we get back to talking about Nick Markakis? Geez, you guys and your thread evolution.
Look into my eyes, Hooky. I care. I exist. And I'm sexy. My sexy eyes are 33.3% sexier than Derek Jeter's sexy eyes. Do you think I'm sexy, Hooky? Because I am and I can prove it. How, you ask? I'm sexy every time I bat against the Yankees, especially Andy Pettitte. Wait, what?
Does Nick Markakis really exist?
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
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Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?
Actually, Nick's eyes ain't so bad. Of course, I keep getting distracted by that zit on his cheek that keeps waving "hi" to me. Stop it, Zit!Dr. Medulla wrote:You had me until you claimed his eyes are sexier than St. Derek's. Those calm and sexy eyes have induced double plays (as long as the ball wasn't hit to his left) and spread his herpes throughout the celebrity A list.Mimi wrote:Dr. Medulla wrote:Mutation!Mimi wrote:Can we get back to talking about Nick Markakis? Geez, you guys and your thread evolution.
Look into my eyes, Hooky. I care. I exist. And I'm sexy. My sexy eyes are 33.3% sexier than Derek Jeter's sexy eyes. Do you think I'm sexy, Hooky? Because I am and I can prove it. How, you ask? I'm sexy every time I bat against the Yankees, especially Andy Pettitte. Wait, what?
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
- Posts: 116002
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
- Location: Straight Banana, Idaho
Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?
Love Nick, love his blemishes. Angelos will do all he can to keep him—he's got a weakness for the Greeks.Mimi wrote:Actually, Nick's eyes ain't so bad. Of course, I keep getting distracted by that zit on his cheek that keeps waving "hi" to me. Stop it, Zit!Dr. Medulla wrote:You had me until you claimed his eyes are sexier than St. Derek's. Those calm and sexy eyes have induced double plays (as long as the ball wasn't hit to his left) and spread his herpes throughout the celebrity A list.Mimi wrote:Dr. Medulla wrote:Mutation!Mimi wrote:Can we get back to talking about Nick Markakis? Geez, you guys and your thread evolution.
Look into my eyes, Hooky. I care. I exist. And I'm sexy. My sexy eyes are 33.3% sexier than Derek Jeter's sexy eyes. Do you think I'm sexy, Hooky? Because I am and I can prove it. How, you ask? I'm sexy every time I bat against the Yankees, especially Andy Pettitte. Wait, what?
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
- Posts: 116002
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
- Location: Straight Banana, Idaho
Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?
Deadspin writes about fictional ballplayer who is shitty because he sometimes makes outs: https://deadspin.com/nick-markakis-real ... 1828340145
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Re: Does Nick Markakis really exist?
lungfish
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— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy