Return of the Mighty Observations Thread

[JennyB]

The Boss and I have survived the most grueling ordeal of any marriage: assembling an Ikea wardrobe. And it ain't right. The one door is noticeably higher than the other, but we can't figure out what happened. All the pieces are flush, everything is level (I checked with an actual level), and we've played with the hinge fine-tuning, but it's still way off. We've assembled one of these things before and it went fine, but this is behaving like there's a skew somewhere, even tho the level says it's fine. Baffling.

Undoubtedly most—all?—of you have been losing sleep at night wondering whether we ever fixed that Ikea wardrobe. Sleep well, sweet princes and princesses, we got it taken care of today. The long delay was because the Boss went to Sask for the rest of the month and only today did we find the time/inclination to fix it. She was convinced we'd have to take it all apart and start over, but I thought we'd just have to take off the back panel, then loosen and retighten the side screws, while using the inside crossbars to brace and align the whole thing. Actually having the doors on helped a great deal for visually aligning things. Getting the back panel off was tough—all those nails—but, yup, it's good now. Slow process but never in doubt in my own mind. At worst, we'd hire a handyman to figure it out, but I didn't think it'd come to that.

Operation Great Job!

[Mimi]

I think, generally speaking, we always favor the decade when we were kids (70s for me), but I have to say the 90s were pretty awesome in so many ways.

Dammit, Mimi. I trusted you.

Tep - that's the Tepiest story I have ever heard. Kudos to MA. Sorry this happened to you and you had to cut your trip short.

I never meant to disappoint you!

[revbob]

OK, so me and wife are in Vegas, Monkey Assistant is petsitting. He calls at noon on Sunday yelling about how there's a lady in the house. Some homeless bitch who thinks she's Goldilocks broke in sometime between 10pm when Monkey left, and 12 noon when he returned. She slept in my bed, drank a glass of Vodka, ate potato chips, took a shower, tried on my wife's clothes, went through drawers, etc. She flipped the breakers for some reason, pulled all the plugs from my computer, and for some odd reason she disassembled a flashlight. Monkey yelled at her to sit still and she did and waited for the cops to come. She told the cops (in Spanish) that this was her dad's house and he lets her come over when he's not there to shower and day-drink vodka. They arrested her. I cut my trip short. Monkey was the hero.

So how was PRB ?

[101Walterton]

OK, so me and wife are in Vegas, Monkey Assistant is petsitting. He calls at noon on Sunday yelling about how there's a lady in the house. Some homeless bitch who thinks she's Goldilocks broke in sometime between 10pm when Monkey left, and 12 noon when he returned. She slept in my bed, drank a glass of Vodka, ate potato chips, took a shower, tried on my wife's clothes, went through drawers, etc. She flipped the breakers for some reason, pulled all the plugs from my computer, and for some odd reason she disassembled a flashlight. Monkey yelled at her to sit still and she did and waited for the cops to come. She told the cops (in Spanish) that this was her dad's house and he lets her come over when he's not there to shower and day-drink vodka. They arrested her. I cut my trip short. Monkey was the hero.

Wait, so are you saying she wasn’t your daughter?

[Inder]

Monkey Assistant 2020.

[tepista]

OK, so me and wife are in Vegas, Monkey Assistant is petsitting. He calls at noon on Sunday yelling about how there's a lady in the house. Some homeless bitch who thinks she's Goldilocks broke in sometime between 10pm when Monkey left, and 12 noon when he returned. She slept in my bed, drank a glass of Vodka, ate potato chips, took a shower, tried on my wife's clothes, went through drawers, etc. She flipped the breakers for some reason, pulled all the plugs from my computer, and for some odd reason she disassembled a flashlight. Monkey yelled at her to sit still and she did and waited for the cops to come. She told the cops (in Spanish) that this was her dad's house and he lets her come over when he's not there to shower and day-drink vodka. They arrested her. I cut my trip short. Monkey was the hero.

So how was PRB ?

I went the following week, actually, a wedding

[tepista]

OK, so me and wife are in Vegas, Monkey Assistant is petsitting. He calls at noon on Sunday yelling about how there's a lady in the house. Some homeless bitch who thinks she's Goldilocks broke in sometime between 10pm when Monkey left, and 12 noon when he returned. She slept in my bed, drank a glass of Vodka, ate potato chips, took a shower, tried on my wife's clothes, went through drawers, etc. She flipped the breakers for some reason, pulled all the plugs from my computer, and for some odd reason she disassembled a flashlight. Monkey yelled at her to sit still and she did and waited for the cops to come. She told the cops (in Spanish) that this was her dad's house and he lets her come over when he's not there to shower and day-drink vodka. They arrested her. I cut my trip short. Monkey was the hero.

Wait, so are you saying she wasn’t your daughter?

A couple people who heard the story when monkey told it, to people who didn't know me, assumed it was a mistress!

[tepista]

Monkey Assistant 2020.

#MAELA Make America Eat Lice Again

[Inder]

OK, so me and wife are in Vegas, Monkey Assistant is petsitting. He calls at noon on Sunday yelling about how there's a lady in the house. Some homeless bitch who thinks she's Goldilocks broke in sometime between 10pm when Monkey left, and 12 noon when he returned. She slept in my bed, drank a glass of Vodka, ate potato chips, took a shower, tried on my wife's clothes, went through drawers, etc. She flipped the breakers for some reason, pulled all the plugs from my computer, and for some odd reason she disassembled a flashlight. Monkey yelled at her to sit still and she did and waited for the cops to come. She told the cops (in Spanish) that this was her dad's house and he lets her come over when he's not there to shower and day-drink vodka. They arrested her. I cut my trip short. Monkey was the hero.

Wait, so are you saying she wasn’t your daughter?

A couple people who heard the story when monkey told it, to people who didn't know me, assumed it was a mistress!

I'd suggest avoiding the Dominican Republic for a bit.

[Dr. Medulla]

[JoseUnidos]

The Boss and I have survived the most grueling ordeal of any marriage: assembling an Ikea wardrobe. And it ain't right. The one door is noticeably higher than the other, but we can't figure out what happened. All the pieces are flush, everything is level (I checked with an actual level), and we've played with the hinge fine-tuning, but it's still way off. We've assembled one of these things before and it went fine, but this is behaving like there's a skew somewhere, even tho the level says it's fine. Baffling.

Undoubtedly most—all?—of you have been losing sleep at night wondering whether we ever fixed that Ikea wardrobe. Sleep well, sweet princes and princesses, we got it taken care of today. The long delay was because the Boss went to Sask for the rest of the month and only today did we find the time/inclination to fix it. She was convinced we'd have to take it all apart and start over, but I thought we'd just have to take off the back panel, then loosen and retighten the side screws, while using the inside crossbars to brace and align the whole thing. Actually having the doors on helped a great deal for visually aligning things. Getting the back panel off was tough—all those nails—but, yup, it's good now. Slow process but never in doubt in my own mind. At worst, we'd hire a handyman to figure it out, but I didn't think it'd come to that.

Operation Great Job!

As a recent assembler of an Ikea king bed w/ built-in drawers you have my heartfelt sympathy/congratulations.

[Inder]

A couple of pigeons have been roosting in our building's garage the past few months and I'd grown accustomed to mentally saying hello every morning on the way out. This evening I went by and someone had run over one of the birds -- the other two were sitting sadly beside it. I feel terrible. :(

[Wolter]

The Boss and I have survived the most grueling ordeal of any marriage: assembling an Ikea wardrobe. And it ain't right. The one door is noticeably higher than the other, but we can't figure out what happened. All the pieces are flush, everything is level (I checked with an actual level), and we've played with the hinge fine-tuning, but it's still way off. We've assembled one of these things before and it went fine, but this is behaving like there's a skew somewhere, even tho the level says it's fine. Baffling.

Undoubtedly most—all?—of you have been losing sleep at night wondering whether we ever fixed that Ikea wardrobe. Sleep well, sweet princes and princesses, we got it taken care of today. The long delay was because the Boss went to Sask for the rest of the month and only today did we find the time/inclination to fix it. She was convinced we'd have to take it all apart and start over, but I thought we'd just have to take off the back panel, then loosen and retighten the side screws, while using the inside crossbars to brace and align the whole thing. Actually having the doors on helped a great deal for visually aligning things. Getting the back panel off was tough—all those nails—but, yup, it's good now. Slow process but never in doubt in my own mind. At worst, we'd hire a handyman to figure it out, but I didn't think it'd come to that.

Operation Great Job!

As a recent assembler of an Ikea king bed w/ built-in drawers you have my heartfelt sympathy/congratulations.

I’m actually fine with assembling the IKEA stuff once it’s home. I’m just not sure my marriage could survive another actual trip inside an IKEA.

[BostonBeaneater]

The Boss and I have survived the most grueling ordeal of any marriage: assembling an Ikea wardrobe. And it ain't right. The one door is noticeably higher than the other, but we can't figure out what happened. All the pieces are flush, everything is level (I checked with an actual level), and we've played with the hinge fine-tuning, but it's still way off. We've assembled one of these things before and it went fine, but this is behaving like there's a skew somewhere, even tho the level says it's fine. Baffling.

Undoubtedly most—all?—of you have been losing sleep at night wondering whether we ever fixed that Ikea wardrobe. Sleep well, sweet princes and princesses, we got it taken care of today. The long delay was because the Boss went to Sask for the rest of the month and only today did we find the time/inclination to fix it. She was convinced we'd have to take it all apart and start over, but I thought we'd just have to take off the back panel, then loosen and retighten the side screws, while using the inside crossbars to brace and align the whole thing. Actually having the doors on helped a great deal for visually aligning things. Getting the back panel off was tough—all those nails—but, yup, it's good now. Slow process but never in doubt in my own mind. At worst, we'd hire a handyman to figure it out, but I didn't think it'd come to that.

Operation Great Job!

As a recent assembler of an Ikea king bed w/ built-in drawers you have my heartfelt sympathy/congratulations.

I’m actually fine with assembling the IKEA stuff once it’s home. I’m just not sure my marriage could survive another actual trip inside an IKEA.

Amen to that. I had to go to Target for 20 minutes right after we moved. I marched through it like it was no man’s land. It was Memorial Day and for the first time I felt camaraderie with fighting soldiers.

[Flex]

Come for a ski trip in Colorado! We'll do it up!