Return of the Mighty Observations Thread

[revbob]

I have to go to a party where there will be a bunch of people with whom I have little in common. Lots of awkward pauses as conversations go nowhere and I desperately look forward to getting my next drink.

[Dr. Medulla]

God, that hideous New Radicals song captures so well the sound of soulless, faux alternative corporate music. It possesses all the nominal characteristics of rock, but it's utterly artificial. Even the name of the band is mocking. I nominate it for most 90s song of the 90s.

I hate that bit where he sings "Come around, we'll kick your ass in." He'd probably go running to his mum if you looked at him with a bit menace.

No way—not with that bad-ass Gilligan hat.

Also, SM description of "unendurable" is spot on.

[Rat Patrol]

God, that hideous New Radicals song captures so well the sound of soulless, faux alternative corporate music. It possesses all the nominal characteristics of rock, but it's utterly artificial. Even the name of the band is mocking. I nominate it for most 90s song of the 90s.

I hate that bit where he sings "Come around, we'll kick your ass in." He'd probably go running to his mum if you looked at him with a bit menace.

I think Courtney Love actually offered to personally take him up on it, and he pretty much sharted himself to death backpedaling. I guess that makes two guys who blew their brains out on her behalf that decade.

[Silent Majority]

I have to go to a party where there will be a bunch of people with whom I have little in common. Lots of awkward pauses as conversations go nowhere and I desperately look forward to getting my next drink.

I can just about spin out that small talk crap for an hour, but there's no pleasure in it for anyone. Hope the time passes relatively quickly.

[Heston]

I have to go to a party where there will be a bunch of people with whom I have little in common. Lots of awkward pauses as conversations go nowhere and I desperately look forward to getting my next drink.

So....a bit like you in the Kaja/Duran thread.

[Dr. Medulla]

I have to go to a party where there will be a bunch of people with whom I have little in common. Lots of awkward pauses as conversations go nowhere and I desperately look forward to getting my next drink.

That's why I'm glad that I've cultivated for the better part of a quarter century the reputation of a weirdo hermit. Nobody ever expects to go to those things, allowing me to drink alone.

[Mimi]

I have to go to a party where there will be a bunch of people with whom I have little in common. Lots of awkward pauses as conversations go nowhere and I desperately look forward to getting my next drink.

As an Introvert, this is the stuff of wake up screaming nightmares. Good luck.

[revbob]

I have to go to a party where there will be a bunch of people with whom I have little in common. Lots of awkward pauses as conversations go nowhere and I desperately look forward to getting my next drink.

So....a bit like you in the Kaja/Duran thread.

Yeah kind of.

I can sometimes do some small talk, it is hit or miss. My wife is much better but she usually kind of intentionally leaves me adrift to awkwardly flounder, tells me to make friends or something.

[Rat Patrol]

I have to go to a party where there will be a bunch of people with whom I have little in common. Lots of awkward pauses as conversations go nowhere and I desperately look forward to getting my next drink.

Being a seasoned misanthrope I have a proven system for these things involving cruising around the perimeter and searching for a perch along the wall that lets me survey my surroundings like I'm taking it all in without coming off looking like the pathetic wallflower I actually am. It also involves triangulating the vectors for a clear shot over to the snacks table without having to weave through crowds of inane conversation.

If you're lucky and there's another fellow traveler in the room who's mastered the system you'll end up meeting at the same vector along the wall and be able to bleed mutually generous time off the clock with safely universal sportsball talk until plausible enough span has passed to get the hell out of there and score some passable suburban coke at the tupperware party down the street.

[Heston]

Just get pissed and career about the place, breaking things. Then you don't get invited back, works for me every time.

[Dr. Medulla]

"So, anyone read Mark Trail?"

Odds are you get blank stares, but if you get one positive response you're good for the rest of the night.

[Mimi]

Look for the pets and play with them. That's my survival technique.

Oh wait, is this at some big venue or someone's house?

[revbob]

I appreciate all the advice. Its a pretty sterile environment (home), no pets. Alcohol and food will be my only salvation. I wont even be able to drink too much because my wife never drives for this stuff.

[Rat Patrol]

I appreciate all the advice. Its a pretty sterile environment (home), no pets. Alcohol and food will be my only salvation. I wont even be able to drink too much because my wife never drives for this stuff.

Oh, well there's definitely suburban coke then. Has to be. People can't live in that kind of boredom 24/7. Maybe it's mediocre shit, but it'll find its way.


The most times I've ever been offered drugs in a single night was at a house party on some godforsaken domesticated cul de sac in sleepy-ass Sudbury, MA years ago.

[Mimi]

I appreciate all the advice. Its a pretty sterile environment (home), no pets. Alcohol and food will be my only salvation. I wont even be able to drink too much because my wife never drives for this stuff.

I will pray for your soul.