The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

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Wolter
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Half Foghorn Leghorn, Half Albert Brooks
Posts: 55432
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 7:59pm
Location: ¡HOLIDAY RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OAD!

The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by Wolter »

Well, the board loss means there are a lot of beautiful lines lost. But enough living in the past!

On taste in music, bad:
Everybody gets one free pass. It's been documented that I like that Elton John/KiKi Dee song, so....

On Birthdays:
The thigamajig won't let me be born any day after the 12th

oh, never mind, it's metric.

On alter-egos:
Watch out for Cuervo Steve. He wants to sell you meth and listen to Sammy Hagar. Fortunately, he only comes out on 3 day weekends.

On songwriting:
Just to help prevent writers block, I come up with a few phrases that rhyme with "Hitler's balls"

Lou Rawls
Booty Calls
Niagra Falls
Barbie Dolls
Biggie Smalls


On the Eagles:
Any band who calls themselves "rock" is not allowed to have a song called "Peaceful Easy Feeling"

On comparing Bush to Hitler:
Bush doesn't have kittens that look like him. And I believe he has at least 2 balls.

On Saved By the Bell:
I wanna pop pills with the showgirls chick, in fact, I'll put that on the wish list.

On Obama’s plans to adopt a dog:
I hope he gets 5 sick dogs and sews them together to make one Frankendog.

On Star Trek Deep Space 9, the Awesomeness of:
I don't watch the reruns or anything, but at the time.....Hell yes, it was. The captain loved baseball and they were at war with a crack-addicted army.

On Math:
If it's had one one advantage in my life, learning the gambling ins & outs at an early age has left me with fairly decent math skills.

On the Metric system and drugs:
"Number 17? That's me. I'll have a lid of hard salami and two eight-balls of smoked turkey."

On Nerds:
I see the 16 sided shoe-dice is on the other elf-foot

On annoying his new neighbors:
It's a Mexican neighborhood, so I can root loudly for whatever black guy is fighting Oscar DeLaHoya that month.

On Moving:
I had to install doorknobs the other day, and this weekend I gotta paint. And it would appear that there's a lot of screaming kids in the neighborhood. Oh well, at least there'll be an ice cream truck

On Prince Fielder hitting an inside the park home run:
Was there a Snickers on each base?

On why he is cooler than almost anyone else:
i have never worn open toed shoe for one single day in my life

On Graffiti:
Here, this is my kinda graffiti. No rhyme or reason, just cheese tits

On Linda Rondstadt:
Without makeup, she just looks like that neighbor lady who like to strangle ugly cats.

On four-sided nipples:
Squareolas!

On missed opportunities:
I want a t-bone steak for breakfast. Why do I have to be a yank?

On women:
I'm trying to make a joke that incorporates yeast infections, but I'm just gonna stop. Maybe forever. Plus I don't know a thing about women. What they're talking about, how to please them, etc.

On movie reviews, the Greatest Ever:
I saw the Devil's Rain a few nights ago. I can't say it was good, but I can say the Ernest Borgnine turned into a goat.

On the new Crue album:
Saints of Los Angeles, huh? From the artwork it should be called Get Your Foot Outta My Snatch

On metalhead denial:
My friends and I thought Rob dressed like a gay guy, but seriously, how could he be gay? He's in Priest!

On weather:
Rain delay? it's ninety-six thousand ass-fucking degrees in Los Angeles, it's fucking raining in DC? What is DC on another fucking planet?

On religion:
If God can't come 1,000 feet from a church then I don't know what to say.

On dating a junkie:
I'm not a junkie, but I'll let you give me all your money, and steal the rest. You'll feel the same in the end.

On unexpected surprises:
Little did you know that the next time you came back, there would be a tranny with your name on it.

On things that are super-funny in context:
Oh, and the United Gang of Benetton.

On Germany:
Free candy at school AND flute playing mobile scrap metal dealers? I know where my next vacation is.

On model train enthusiasts:
Ya know what, I'm going. He's not gay, I can handle some mutual touching if I get to play Godzilla and get some free imitation crab meat.

On learning what JO means:
As much as I already loved this ad, now it's like five thousand times better.

On learning what JO means, continued:
Wow. I swear I just thought he wanted to play trains with another shirtless guy.

On relief:
A relief: That your mom gave you a clothing steamer, and not a cleveland steamer.

On priceless things:
you can't put a price on transvestitism.
”INDER LOCK THE THE KISS THREAD IVE REALISED IM A PRZE IDOOT” - Thomas Jefferson

"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"

MadModWorld
User avatar
Trashy Britpop Kid
Posts: 717
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:51pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven & Woolworths...

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by MadModWorld »

Wolter wrote:Well, the board loss means there are a lot of beautiful lines lost. But enough living in the past!

On taste in music, bad:
Everybody gets one free pass. It's been documented that I like that Elton John/KiKi Dee song, so....

On Birthdays:
The thigamajig won't let me be born any day after the 12th

oh, never mind, it's metric.

On alter-egos:
Watch out for Cuervo Steve. He wants to sell you meth and listen to Sammy Hagar. Fortunately, he only comes out on 3 day weekends.

On songwriting:
Just to help prevent writers block, I come up with a few phrases that rhyme with "Hitler's balls"

Lou Rawls
Booty Calls
Niagra Falls
Barbie Dolls
Biggie Smalls


On the Eagles:
Any band who calls themselves "rock" is not allowed to have a song called "Peaceful Easy Feeling"

On comparing Bush to Hitler:
Bush doesn't have kittens that look like him. And I believe he has at least 2 balls.

On Saved By the Bell:
I wanna pop pills with the showgirls chick, in fact, I'll put that on the wish list.

On Obama’s plans to adopt a dog:
I hope he gets 5 sick dogs and sews them together to make one Frankendog.

On Star Trek Deep Space 9, the Awesomeness of:
I don't watch the reruns or anything, but at the time.....Hell yes, it was. The captain loved baseball and they were at war with a crack-addicted army.

On Math:
If it's had one one advantage in my life, learning the gambling ins & outs at an early age has left me with fairly decent math skills.

On the Metric system and drugs:
"Number 17? That's me. I'll have a lid of hard salami and two eight-balls of smoked turkey."

On Nerds:
I see the 16 sided shoe-dice is on the other elf-foot

On annoying his new neighbors:
It's a Mexican neighborhood, so I can root loudly for whatever black guy is fighting Oscar DeLaHoya that month.

On Moving:
I had to install doorknobs the other day, and this weekend I gotta paint. And it would appear that there's a lot of screaming kids in the neighborhood. Oh well, at least there'll be an ice cream truck

On Prince Fielder hitting an inside the park home run:
Was there a Snickers on each base?

On why he is cooler than almost anyone else:
i have never worn open toed shoe for one single day in my life

On Graffiti:
Here, this is my kinda graffiti. No rhyme or reason, just cheese tits

On Linda Rondstadt:
Without makeup, she just looks like that neighbor lady who like to strangle ugly cats.

On four-sided nipples:
Squareolas!

On missed opportunities:
I want a t-bone steak for breakfast. Why do I have to be a yank?

On women:
I'm trying to make a joke that incorporates yeast infections, but I'm just gonna stop. Maybe forever. Plus I don't know a thing about women. What they're talking about, how to please them, etc.

On movie reviews, the Greatest Ever:
I saw the Devil's Rain a few nights ago. I can't say it was good, but I can say the Ernest Borgnine turned into a goat.

On the new Crue album:
Saints of Los Angeles, huh? From the artwork it should be called Get Your Foot Outta My Snatch

On metalhead denial:
My friends and I thought Rob dressed like a gay guy, but seriously, how could he be gay? He's in Priest!

On weather:
Rain delay? it's ninety-six thousand ass-fucking degrees in Los Angeles, it's fucking raining in DC? What is DC on another fucking planet?

On religion:
If God can't come 1,000 feet from a church then I don't know what to say.

On dating a junkie:
I'm not a junkie, but I'll let you give me all your money, and steal the rest. You'll feel the same in the end.

On unexpected surprises:
Little did you know that the next time you came back, there would be a tranny with your name on it.

On things that are super-funny in context:
Oh, and the United Gang of Benetton.

On Germany:
Free candy at school AND flute playing mobile scrap metal dealers? I know where my next vacation is.

On model train enthusiasts:
Ya know what, I'm going. He's not gay, I can handle some mutual touching if I get to play Godzilla and get some free imitation crab meat.

On learning what JO means:
As much as I already loved this ad, now it's like five thousand times better.

On learning what JO means, continued:
Wow. I swear I just thought he wanted to play trains with another shirtless guy.

On relief:
A relief: That your mom gave you a clothing steamer, and not a cleveland steamer.

On priceless things:
you can't put a price on transvestitism.

Oh the true words he doth say!
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead...
Image

KokaKola
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Junco Partner
Posts: 377
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:12pm

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by KokaKola »

I felt the need to amend my original version of this...
Image





(But I heart Tep, too, so there are at least 2 of us in the Oh, Nevermind, It's Metric Fan Club.)
...advertising and kokaine.

eumaas
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Klezmer Shogun
Posts: 23579
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 8:10pm
Location: deep in your Id

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by eumaas »

Man, people never photoshop me into things any more. :cry:
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Dr. Medulla
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Atheistic Epileptic
Posts: 115992
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
Location: Straight Banana, Idaho

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by Dr. Medulla »

eumaas wrote:Man, people never photoshop me into things any more. :cry:
You're like Allah to Muslims around here—it'd be blasphemous.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

matedog
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Purveyor of Hoyistic Thought
Posts: 25804
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
Location: 1995

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by matedog »

Dr. Medulla wrote:
eumaas wrote:Man, people never photoshop me into things any more. :cry:
You're like Allah to Muslims around here—it'd be blasphemous.
Praise Eumass! Alalalalala!
Look, you have to establish context for these things. And I maintain that unless you appreciate the Fall of Constantinople, the Great Fire of London, and Mickey Mantle's fatalist alcoholism, live Freddy makes no sense. If you want to half-ass it, fine, go call Simon Schama to do the appendix.

KokaKola
User avatar
Junco Partner
Posts: 377
Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:12pm

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by KokaKola »

eumaas wrote:Man, people never photoshop me into things any more. :cry:
I think I know what this thread just turned into....
...advertising and kokaine.

Wolter
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Half Foghorn Leghorn, Half Albert Brooks
Posts: 55432
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 7:59pm
Location: ¡HOLIDAY RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OAD!

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by Wolter »

KokaKola wrote:I felt the need to amend my original version of this...
Image





(But I heart Tep, too, so there are at least 2 of us in the Oh, Nevermind, It's Metric Fan Club.)
Wow...I actually get to be the angel. Less of a reflection on my innate goodness as it is on Tep's pure evil soul.
”INDER LOCK THE THE KISS THREAD IVE REALISED IM A PRZE IDOOT” - Thomas Jefferson

"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"

eumaas
User avatar
Klezmer Shogun
Posts: 23579
Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 8:10pm
Location: deep in your Id

Re: The Quotable Tepista 2: Electric Boogaloo

Post by eumaas »

KokaKola wrote:
eumaas wrote:Man, people never photoshop me into things any more. :cry:
I think I know what this thread just turned into....
a parade of my pathetic pleas for meager attention?

wait, that's all the threads. :disshame:


i'll get me gilded purple robes
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

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