In this time of uncertainty, I think we all want, nay, NEED this thread. You are either with us or against us, people. Here's the inaugural Douchebag of the Day (or DOD):
Meet Jeffrey Barrier. He stood on a chair at Aloha Tanning in Cincinnati, Ohio and used his cell phone to take pictures of a naked 35-year-old woman in a tanning room. When questioned by cops, Jeffrey claimed he didn't have a camera; he was searched by the Sheriff's office, where they found Jeff's cell phone… in his anus. Dude is charged with disorderly conduct for taking the photos and obstructing official business for hampering a police investigation. Feel free to insert (heh) your own "butt of a joke" comments.
Here's Jeff:
Got a Rake? Sure!
IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M
" *sigh* it's right when they throw the penis pump out the window." -Hoy
Admittedly I don't own a cell phone and don't know how small they get now, but, wouldn't a person have to have had some experience with inserting foreign objects to get that in there? Douchebag weirdo …
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Dr. Medulla wrote:Admittedly I don't own a cell phone and don't know how small they get now, but, wouldn't a person have to have had some experience with inserting foreign objects to get that in there? Douchebag weirdo …
So, somebody who doesn't shove things up their ass wouldn't automatically think to shove something up their ass. Makes sense.
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
Dr. Medulla wrote:Admittedly I don't own a cell phone and don't know how small they get now, but, wouldn't a person have to have had some experience with inserting foreign objects to get that in there? Douchebag weirdo …
So, somebody who doesn't shove things up their ass wouldn't automatically think to shove something up their ass. Makes sense.
Something as big and irregularly shaped as a cellphone? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that my brain wouldn't work that way.
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Dr. Medulla wrote:Admittedly I don't own a cell phone and don't know how small they get now, but, wouldn't a person have to have had some experience with inserting foreign objects to get that in there? Douchebag weirdo …
So, somebody who doesn't shove things up their ass wouldn't automatically think to shove something up their ass. Makes sense.
Something as big and irregularly shaped as a cellphone? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that my brain wouldn't work that way.
What if it were a 12oz Jimmy Dean Sausage that was priced the same as a 16oz one?
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
Dr. Medulla wrote:Admittedly I don't own a cell phone and don't know how small they get now, but, wouldn't a person have to have had some experience with inserting foreign objects to get that in there? Douchebag weirdo …
So, somebody who doesn't shove things up their ass wouldn't automatically think to shove something up their ass. Makes sense.
Something as big and irregularly shaped as a cellphone? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that my brain wouldn't work that way.
What if it were a 12oz Jimmy Dean Sausage that was priced the same as a 16oz one?
I ain't shovin' no pussy-ass 12 oz sausage that couldn't feed my fat ass kids and wife up my butt.
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
Hey, I think that's a grown-up version of Larry Sellers from the Big Lebowski...
Sit on my lap, I'm sober! - cretin Dylan can never care about anything, not a troublesome woman, not a beleagured workingman, not a fingerless glove or sleeveless jacket, as much as Andrew WK cares about partying. - Silent Majority
What are you talking about? He so loved the images of his true love, images that only he possessed, that he would not share them with anyone, and would endure physical discomfort and risk punishment by the police to keep their secret. Motherfuckin' Shakespeare would weep at that.
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
