Douche of the Month Club

[Dr. Medulla]

A sushi story that my family likes to share. Two cousins of mine, brothers. Al taught English in Japan and Korea for, I dunno, five or six years, and was engaged to a Japanese woman. His brother, Dan, lived in Vancouver and was married to a rich and severely uptight bitch whom everyone in the family despised because she was both a snob and stupid as fuck (I never met her; many, many family members shared so many similar experiences meeting her, I have to assume they're accurate). Dan and wife fly to Japan for the wedding, and while out for supper with both families—i.e., Canadian and Japanese—she announces that nothing compares to Vancouver sushi. Japan's is okay, but, no, it is a pale imitation of true Vancouver sushi. As I was told, the atmosphere at the table became a heady mixture of appalled and embarrassed, with just a hint of oblivious. I suspect it would be like having supper with Wolter and declaring New Jersey barbecue to be the best in the world.

Happy ending: Dan later divorced his sushi expert.

[BostonBeaneater]

A sushi story that my family likes to share. Two cousins of mine, brothers. Al taught English in Japan and Korea for, I dunno, five or six years, and was engaged to a Japanese woman. His brother, Dan, lived in Vancouver and was married to a rich and severely uptight bitch whom everyone in the family despised because she was both a snob and stupid as fuck (I never met her; many, many family members shared so many similar experiences meeting her, I have to assume they're accurate). Dan and wife fly to Japan for the wedding, and while out for supper with both families—i.e., Canadian and Japanese—she announces that nothing compares to Vancouver sushi. Japan's is okay, but, no, it is a pale imitation of true Vancouver sushi. As I was told, the atmosphere at the table became a heady mixture of appalled and embarrassed, with just a hint of oblivious. I suspect it would be like having supper with Wolter and declaring New Jersey barbecue to be the best in the world.

Happy ending: Dan later divorced his sushi expert.

Dan divorced his sushi expert and went to the parlor for a Happy Ending!

[Dr. Medulla]

A sushi story that my family likes to share. Two cousins of mine, brothers. Al taught English in Japan and Korea for, I dunno, five or six years, and was engaged to a Japanese woman. His brother, Dan, lived in Vancouver and was married to a rich and severely uptight bitch whom everyone in the family despised because she was both a snob and stupid as fuck (I never met her; many, many family members shared so many similar experiences meeting her, I have to assume they're accurate). Dan and wife fly to Japan for the wedding, and while out for supper with both families—i.e., Canadian and Japanese—she announces that nothing compares to Vancouver sushi. Japan's is okay, but, no, it is a pale imitation of true Vancouver sushi. As I was told, the atmosphere at the table became a heady mixture of appalled and embarrassed, with just a hint of oblivious. I suspect it would be like having supper with Wolter and declaring New Jersey barbecue to be the best in the world.

Happy ending: Dan later divorced his sushi expert.

Dan divorced his sushi expert and went to the parlor for a Happy Ending!

She gutted him badly in the divorce, so the only happy ending was his sanity. Last I heard, he's lawyerin' for the human rights commission. Good for his soul, less so for his bank account.

[Rat Patrol]

Seafood in general is my favorite. I absolutely refuse to eat it if I'm landlocked, much to the chagrin of others with me, sometimes.

Smart man. There is a Crab House I drive by when I'm in Grand Rapids and it totally gives me the shivers.

With a celtic font, no less.

[Rat Patrol]

SUSHI IN TUSCON is a good name for a record.

Great. Now this is spliced into the lyrics of The Cure's "Fire in Cairo" and stuck in my head.

[JennyB]

H. P. Lovecraft hated fish (no surprise there), and was a New Englander.

On the plus side, he also hated degenerate bloodlines. So, you know, batting .500

Shockingly, Colorado isn't a bastion of seafood consumption. Fucking Broncos fans.

Rocky Mountain oysters don't count?

[Dr. Medulla]

Holy shit, Carrot Top is the affluenza kid's mother:

[JennyB]

Holy shit, Carrot Top is the affluenza kid's mother:

my god.

[Flex]

Rocky Mountain oysters don't count?

I actually eat Rocky mountain oysters. They're good.

[101Walterton]

Rocky Mountain oysters don't count?

I actually eat Rocky mountain oysters. They're good.

Wondering if Rocky Mountain Oyster is the same as. New Zealand Mountain Oyster?

[Wolter]

Rocky Mountain oysters don't count?

I actually eat Rocky mountain oysters. They're good.

Wondering if Rocky Mountain Oyster is the same as. New Zealand Mountain Oyster?

Depends. Are those testicles?

[101Walterton]

Rocky Mountain oysters don't count?

I actually eat Rocky mountain oysters. They're good.

Wondering if Rocky Mountain Oyster is the same as. New Zealand Mountain Oyster?

Depends. Are those testicles?

Yep sheep.

[Wolter]

Rocky Mountain oysters don't count?

I actually eat Rocky mountain oysters. They're good.

Wondering if Rocky Mountain Oyster is the same as. New Zealand Mountain Oyster?

Depends. Are those testicles?

Yep sheep.

As far as I know, they are the same then.

[Flex]

Bull testicles in Colorado, but same principle.

[Wolter]

Bull testicles in Colorado, but same principle.

"More testicles mean more iron!"