Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

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Marky Dread
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Marky Dread »

Rat Patrol wrote:http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-34796853

Find any good packeted sidewalk ham lately?
...and yet still no free asphalt.
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Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

Rat Patrol
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Rat Patrol »

Marky Dread wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-34796853

Find any good packeted sidewalk ham lately?
...and yet still no free asphalt.
Just a "lorry of lard".

Is "lorry" some antiquated imperial measurement of the severity in which the Queen stopped up the Royal castle's plumbing dropping Her Majesty's Load...re-applied in modern times to that accident on the Westway that pantsed up your commute yesterday? 'Cause I live in Boston, the world's current reigning throne of offensive driving, and I've never heard that slang. We have about 12 words to describe a "lorry"...all of them 1 letter shorter. :angry:

Marky Dread
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Marky Dread »

Rat Patrol wrote:
Marky Dread wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-34796853

Find any good packeted sidewalk ham lately?
...and yet still no free asphalt.
Just a "lorry of lard".

Is "lorry" some antiquated imperial measurement of the severity in which the Queen stopped up the Royal castle's plumbing dropping Her Majesty's Load...re-applied in modern times to that accident on the Westway that pantsed up your commute yesterday? 'Cause I live in Boston, the world's current reigning throne of offensive driving, and I've never heard that slang. We have about 12 words to describe a "lorry"...all of them 1 letter shorter. :angry:
Lorry = Truck. I X lorry load = 1 X truck load.
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

Rat Patrol
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Rat Patrol »

Marky Dread wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:
Marky Dread wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-34796853

Find any good packeted sidewalk ham lately?
...and yet still no free asphalt.
Just a "lorry of lard".

Is "lorry" some antiquated imperial measurement of the severity in which the Queen stopped up the Royal castle's plumbing dropping Her Majesty's Load...re-applied in modern times to that accident on the Westway that pantsed up your commute yesterday? 'Cause I live in Boston, the world's current reigning throne of offensive driving, and I've never heard that slang. We have about 12 words to describe a "lorry"...all of them 1 letter shorter. :angry:
Lorry = Truck. I X lorry load = 1 X truck load.

Right. So the queenshits done spannered up the motorway all shambles again and made me late for pub.

Marky Dread
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Marky Dread »

Rat Patrol wrote:
Marky Dread wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:
Marky Dread wrote:
Rat Patrol wrote:http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-34796853

Find any good packeted sidewalk ham lately?
...and yet still no free asphalt.
Just a "lorry of lard".

Is "lorry" some antiquated imperial measurement of the severity in which the Queen stopped up the Royal castle's plumbing dropping Her Majesty's Load...re-applied in modern times to that accident on the Westway that pantsed up your commute yesterday? 'Cause I live in Boston, the world's current reigning throne of offensive driving, and I've never heard that slang. We have about 12 words to describe a "lorry"...all of them 1 letter shorter. :angry:
Lorry = Truck. I X lorry load = 1 X truck load.

Right. So the queenshits done spannered up the motorway all shambles again and made me late for pub.
Yes guv, I couldn't Adam and Eve it that lorry was well cream crackered. Made a right two and eight all over the frog and toad.
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Dr. Medulla »

In the last four months, two of houses more or less across the street from us, and the two on either side of our house, went up for sale (two have sold; one is renting now). Can you recommend a better hygiene regimen for me to follow?
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Heston
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

Dr. Medulla wrote:In the last four months, two of houses more or less across the street from us, and the two on either side of our house, went up for sale (two have sold; one is renting now). Can you recommend a better hygiene regimen for me to follow?
Stop playing Wire so loud and put KISS Alive II on.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

Marky Dread
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Marky Dread »

Dr. Medulla wrote:In the last four months, two of houses more or less across the street from us, and the two on either side of our house, went up for sale (two have sold; one is renting now). Can you recommend a better hygiene regimen for me to follow?
Stop playing KISS records and start playing something decent like say Wire. and take regular baths you dirty man!
Image

Forces have been looting
My humanity
Curfews have been curbing
The end of liberty


We're the flowers in the dustbin...
No fuchsias for you.

"Without the common people you're nothing"

Nos Sumus Una Familia

BostonBeaneater
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by BostonBeaneater »

Dear Heston,

When I think of England I think of a bleak urban maze willed with drunken men eating terrible food and women with crooked teeth. It also rains a lot in the mind view. Can you confirm or deny this?
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Marky Dread wrote:
Dr. Medulla wrote:In the last four months, two of houses more or less across the street from us, and the two on either side of our house, went up for sale (two have sold; one is renting now). Can you recommend a better hygiene regimen for me to follow?
Stop playing KISS records and start playing something decent like say Wire. and take regular baths you dirty man!
I like your advice more. And I do bathe in the hot water of my own filth everyday!
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

eumaas
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by eumaas »

BostonBeaneater wrote:Dear Heston,

When I think of England I think of a bleak urban maze willed with drunken men eating terrible food and women with crooked teeth. It also rains a lot in the mind view. Can you confirm or deny this?
I think Heston lives here:
http://scarfolk.blogspot.com/

EDIT: well, a Geordie version of there anyway--NE not NW.
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
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Dr. Medulla
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Dr. Medulla »

eumaas wrote:
BostonBeaneater wrote:Dear Heston,

When I think of England I think of a bleak urban maze willed with drunken men eating terrible food and women with crooked teeth. It also rains a lot in the mind view. Can you confirm or deny this?
I think Heston lives here:
http://scarfolk.blogspot.com/

EDIT: well, a Geordie version of there anyway--NE not NW.
I always pretend that's the case when I read the blog entries.
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Heston
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

BostonBeaneater wrote:Dear Heston,

When I think of England I think of a bleak urban maze willed with drunken men eating terrible food and women with crooked teeth. It also rains a lot in the mind view. Can you confirm or deny this?
It's even worse.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

101Walterton
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by 101Walterton »

Have you heard of The Spitfires? Are they any good?

Heston
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

101Walterton wrote:Have you heard of The Spitfires? Are they any good?
Never heard them mate.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

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