Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Sweet action for kids 'n' cretins. Marjoram and capers.
Heston
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:44pm
If I could get you elected Pope, would you go along with it?
No, I'm a confirmed atheist and hate wearing dresses.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

eumaas
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by eumaas »

Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:16pm
eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:44pm
If I could get you elected Pope, would you go along with it?
No, I'm a confirmed atheist and hate wearing dresses.
I take it you don't like being surrounded by gold and fine Renaissance art?
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Dr. Medulla
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:16pm
eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:44pm
If I could get you elected Pope, would you go along with it?
No, I'm a confirmed atheist and hate wearing dresses.
The most sincere Catholics are all atheists and you'd learn to enjoy wearing dresses once you realized how much free booze comes from the job (not even counting the blood of Christ hootch).
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Heston
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:17pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:16pm
eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 6:44pm
If I could get you elected Pope, would you go along with it?
No, I'm a confirmed atheist and hate wearing dresses.
I take it you don't like being surrounded by gold and fine Renaissance art?
Not if it means wearing a dress.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

Heston
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

eumaas
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by eumaas »

Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:20pm
I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
You could get them canonized!
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Heston
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:25pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:20pm
I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
You could get them canonized!
If you're alluding to firing them out of a cannon, you know I wouldn't allow that to happen.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

Rat Patrol
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Rat Patrol »

Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:36pm
eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:25pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:20pm
I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
You could get them canonized!
If you're alluding to firing them out of a cannon, you know I wouldn't allow that to happen.
How about just letting them molest the shit out of underage children in a consequence-free fantasy world while you look the other way from a blithe perch in your own sovereign city-state? That's pretty much what Popes do for a living.
Image

revbob
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by revbob »

Rat Patrol wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 9:35pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:36pm
eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:25pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:20pm
I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
You could get them canonized!
If you're alluding to firing them out of a cannon, you know I wouldn't allow that to happen.
How about just letting them molest the shit out of underage children in a consequence-free fantasy world while you look the other way from a blithe perch in your own sovereign city-state? That's pretty much what Popes do for a living.
Image
KISS only molest young girls which they think gives them the moral high ground.

JennyB
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by JennyB »

eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:25pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:20pm
I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
You could get them canonized!
Can you cannonize Jews? Because Stanley and Chaim might not qualify.
Got a Rake? Sure!

IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M

" *sigh* it's right when they throw the penis pump out the window." -Hoy

eumaas
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by eumaas »

JennyB wrote:
01 Feb 2018, 10:42am
eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:25pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:20pm
I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
You could get them canonized!
Can you cannonize Jews? Because Stanley and Chaim might not qualify.
Bear in mind this is a scenario wherein Heston has become Pope.
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

JennyB
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by JennyB »

eumaas wrote:
01 Feb 2018, 10:51am
JennyB wrote:
01 Feb 2018, 10:42am
eumaas wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:25pm
Heston wrote:
31 Jan 2018, 7:20pm
I suppose I could demand an audience with KISS.
You could get them canonized!
Can you cannonize Jews? Because Stanley and Chaim might not qualify.
Bear in mind this is a scenario wherein Heston has become Pope.
OK, you got me there.
Got a Rake? Sure!

IMCT: Inane Middle-Class Twats - Dr. M

" *sigh* it's right when they throw the penis pump out the window." -Hoy

muppet hi fi
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by muppet hi fi »

Question for Heston:

If I were to move to South Shields and challenge the Panic Report's drummer to a duel for the drum throne, what would be the best method?
1) drinking bout
2) arm wrestling match
3) ability to take the piss out of the lead singer/guitar player
Strong shoes is what we got and when they're hot they're hot!
- Marky Dread and his fabulous Screaming Blue Messiahs

Heston
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Location: North of Watford Junction

Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by Heston »

muppet hi fi wrote:
22 Feb 2018, 7:23pm
Question for Heston:

If I were to move to South Shields and challenge the Panic Report's drummer to a duel for the drum throne, what would be the best method?
1) drinking bout
2) arm wrestling match
3) ability to take the piss out of the lead singer/guitar player
Definitely drinking bout.

We always say he's "laureled" when he's pissed because he gets a dopey face like Stan Laurel after too many.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

muppet hi fi
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Re: Ask Heston, a thread where you ask Heston

Post by muppet hi fi »

Heston wrote:
22 Feb 2018, 7:41pm
muppet hi fi wrote:
22 Feb 2018, 7:23pm
Question for Heston:

If I were to move to South Shields and challenge the Panic Report's drummer to a duel for the drum throne, what would be the best method?
1) drinking bout
2) arm wrestling match
3) ability to take the piss out of the lead singer/guitar player
Definitely drinking bout.

We always say he's "laureled" when he's pissed because he gets a dopey face like Stan Laurel after too many.
I think I could pull it off.

Kurt Vonnegut once wrote that if could have the face of anyone in history it would be Stan Laurel. And although Stan is a patron saint for me, if I could have any face I would have the face of The One True and Almighty God, so's I could put the fear of Me into everybody else.
Strong shoes is what we got and when they're hot they're hot!
- Marky Dread and his fabulous Screaming Blue Messiahs

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