Well, Eve ate fruit from the tree of knowledge and …Joe Public wrote:Whatever happened to Adam, anyway? I know I could ask that about any several dozen people, but hey...
If Music Could Archive
- Dr. Medulla
- Atheistic Epileptic
- Posts: 116593
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 2:00pm
- Location: Straight Banana, Idaho
Re: If Music Could Archive
"Grab some wood, bub.'" - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft
- Still216
- Hoy Without The Hoy
- Posts: 1896
- Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 2:08pm
- Location: At least it's not Detroit
FCoCP
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... &sk=t&sd=a
eumaas wrote:I. Group Profile
1. Name: First Church of Chavo Pederasty aka Church of God in Chavo aka the American Psychochavopederastrological Association
2. Founders: L. Ron Reyes, oxycodone-HCl, Oscar Wilde, dimethyltryptamine, eumaas, hydrocodone-HCl
3. Date of Birth: 5/23/1980
4. Birth Place: Redondo Beach, California; The Honorable J. Wolter presiding.
5. Year Founded: 1980/2007
6. History: The FCoCP was founded after eumaas awoke from an opiated haze and discovered that he was gnawing on a copy of Black Flag's Jealous Again EP. He fell deep into a shamanistic trance (with the help of a little ayahuasca) and channeled the complete works of L. Ron Reyes. Since then he has traveled around the country gaining converts, especially targeting the so-called "punk" subculture.
7. Sacred or Revered Texts: Jealous Again EP, Everything Went Black (Chavo Redacted Version, or CRV), Copasetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health by L. Ron Reyes, the Decline of Western Civilization
8. Organization: The Church is divided into priesthood and laity. Anyone may join the FCoCP by sending $4 to eumaas. Such individuals form the laity. Priests on the other hand are individuals who send eumaas $30. They are then allowed to officiate at Blessed Screenings of the Decline of Western Civilization, the Chavo Pederasty equivalent of the high mass. Priests ascend to the rank of elder, or bishop, after demonstrating a thorough understanding of the principles of Chavo Pederasty and a working knowledge of Copasetic auditing. A sacred college of select elders called the White Minority directs the Church and determines official dogma.
9. Size of Group: Approx. 12 million members
II. Beliefs of the Group
While many of the beliefs of the FCoCP are secret due to restrictive intellectual property laws, examination of the sacred hymns of the Church yields several key beliefs:
1. Qualified Pacifism: Chavo Pederastists are not against violence per se (c.f. Vengeance, below), but only when "the cops would grab [them] for doin' it."
2. Vengeance: A sort of liberation theology whereby the oppressed rise up against their oppressors. May also imply karmic views.
3. Anti-Progressive: In the face of "a bed of cold pavement / Waiting for me," progress becomes irrelevant.
4. Absolute Individualism: "I don't care what you think / I don't care what you say / I've got nothing to give you / Why don't you just go away"
5. Denial of Traditional Values: Chavo Pederasty abhors the traditional values of society and adopts an ethical nihilism.
6. Transcendent Non-Being: Chavo Pederastists believe in an ultimate state of non-being, analogous to the Buddhist concept of nirvana. Chavo Pederasty asks of humanity, "What if [we] try some annihilation[?]"
7. Epistemological Nihilism: "Don't you try classification," because reality is ultimately unknowable, and all attempts at logic and analogy fail. The FCoCP rejects traditional methods for the apprehension of truth, instead pointing to human experience as an undifferentiated mass of contradictions, impossible to classify and harmonize.
III. Issues and Controversies
Greg Ginn occupies an contradictory place in FCoCP theology. While being the chief hymnist of the Church, and the one who made L. Ron Reyes known to the world, he is also antagonistic to the forces of Chavo Pederasty. His role seems analogous to that of Loki in Norse mythology, i.e. that he is in sync with the aims of Chavo Pederasty at times, but that he also is a kind of trickster spirit, fundamentally challenging the order of the Church and posing significant theological problems in the cosmogony of organized Chavo Pederasty.
Sit on my lap, I'm sober! - cretin
Dylan can never care about anything, not a troublesome woman, not a beleagured workingman, not a fingerless glove or sleeveless jacket, as much as Andrew WK cares about partying. - Silent Majority
Dylan can never care about anything, not a troublesome woman, not a beleagured workingman, not a fingerless glove or sleeveless jacket, as much as Andrew WK cares about partying. - Silent Majority
- tepista
- Foul-Mouthed Werewolf
- Posts: 37911
- Joined: 16 Jun 2008, 11:25am
- Location: Livin on a fault line, Waiting on the big one
Re: If Music Could Archive
That was one of the most important days of my life.Inder wrote:Mysteries solved --
Clampdown: http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 168&p=9986
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak
Re: If Music Could Archive
Ah, such a classic: the 'Fine. Fuck you, you are my enemy." post by Mr Beaneater
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 60#p239643
:)
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 60#p239643
:)
- BostonBeaneater
- Autonomous Insect Cyborg Sentinel
- Posts: 11953
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 7:24pm
- Location: Between the moon and New York City
Re: If Music Could Archive
Thanks! I can write a good love note.x3em wrote:Ah, such a classic: the 'Fine. Fuck you, you are my enemy." post by Mr Beaneater
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 60#p239643
:)
- Heston
- God of Thunder...and Rock 'n Roll
- Posts: 38370
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 4:07pm
- Location: North of Watford Junction
Re: If Music Could Archive
A great post, one of the finest written on here.x3em wrote:Ah, such a classic: the 'Fine. Fuck you, you are my enemy." post by Mr Beaneater
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 60#p239643
:)
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board
Re: If Music Could Archive
Must've been around the time when Sean Flynn started not to get the internet.
Who pfaffed the pfaff? Who got pfaffed tonight?
- Wolter
- Half Foghorn Leghorn, Half Albert Brooks
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- Location: ¡HOLIDAY RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OAD!
Re: If Music Could Archive
It was around the time I gay-married Beaneater.Olaf wrote:Must've been around the time when Sean Flynn started not to get the internet.
”INDER LOCK THE THE KISS THREAD IVE REALISED IM A PRZE IDOOT” - Thomas Jefferson
"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"
"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"
Re: If Music Could Archive
And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?
"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
Who pfaffed the pfaff? Who got pfaffed tonight?
Re: If Music Could Archive
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
Re: If Music Could Archive
He was just pissed because Wolter didn't want to gay-marry him.
Who pfaffed the pfaff? Who got pfaffed tonight?
Re: If Music Could Archive
Hah!Olaf wrote:And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?
"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
For a second, I thought it was going to be the ukulele photo boondoggle. Boondoggle.
Re: If Music Could Archive
That was you in the photo, right?Inder wrote:Hah!Olaf wrote:And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?
"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
For a second, I thought it was going to be the ukulele photo boondoggle. Boondoggle.
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
— Morton Feldman
I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy
Re: If Music Could Archive
eumaas wrote:That was you in the photo, right?Inder wrote:Hah!Olaf wrote:And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?
"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."
http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
For a second, I thought it was going to be the ukulele photo boondoggle. Boondoggle.
Boondoggle!
- Wolter
- Half Foghorn Leghorn, Half Albert Brooks
- Posts: 55432
- Joined: 15 Jun 2008, 7:59pm
- Location: ¡HOLIDAY RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OAD!
Re: If Music Could Archive
Oddly, I'm quite happy with my life. Which I doubt to be true of the erstwhile Clash By Night guitarist.Olaf wrote:He was just pissed because Wolter didn't want to gay-marry him.
”INDER LOCK THE THE KISS THREAD IVE REALISED IM A PRZE IDOOT” - Thomas Jefferson
"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"
"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"