If Music Could Archive

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Dr. Medulla
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Dr. Medulla »

Joe Public wrote:Whatever happened to Adam, anyway? I know I could ask that about any several dozen people, but hey...
Well, Eve ate fruit from the tree of knowledge and …
"I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey-strong bowels were girded with strength, like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo dung." - Richard Nixon, Checkers Speech, abandoned early draft

Still216
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FCoCP

Post by Still216 »

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... &sk=t&sd=a
eumaas wrote:I. Group Profile

1. Name: First Church of Chavo Pederasty aka Church of God in Chavo aka the American Psychochavopederastrological Association

2. Founders: L. Ron Reyes, oxycodone-HCl, Oscar Wilde, dimethyltryptamine, eumaas, hydrocodone-HCl

3. Date of Birth: 5/23/1980

4. Birth Place: Redondo Beach, California; The Honorable J. Wolter presiding.

5. Year Founded: 1980/2007

6. History: The FCoCP was founded after eumaas awoke from an opiated haze and discovered that he was gnawing on a copy of Black Flag's Jealous Again EP. He fell deep into a shamanistic trance (with the help of a little ayahuasca) and channeled the complete works of L. Ron Reyes. Since then he has traveled around the country gaining converts, especially targeting the so-called "punk" subculture.

7. Sacred or Revered Texts: Jealous Again EP, Everything Went Black (Chavo Redacted Version, or CRV), Copasetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health by L. Ron Reyes, the Decline of Western Civilization

8. Organization: The Church is divided into priesthood and laity. Anyone may join the FCoCP by sending $4 to eumaas. Such individuals form the laity. Priests on the other hand are individuals who send eumaas $30. They are then allowed to officiate at Blessed Screenings of the Decline of Western Civilization, the Chavo Pederasty equivalent of the high mass. Priests ascend to the rank of elder, or bishop, after demonstrating a thorough understanding of the principles of Chavo Pederasty and a working knowledge of Copasetic auditing. A sacred college of select elders called the White Minority directs the Church and determines official dogma.

9. Size of Group: Approx. 12 million members

II. Beliefs of the Group

While many of the beliefs of the FCoCP are secret due to restrictive intellectual property laws, examination of the sacred hymns of the Church yields several key beliefs:

1. Qualified Pacifism: Chavo Pederastists are not against violence per se (c.f. Vengeance, below), but only when "the cops would grab [them] for doin' it."

2. Vengeance: A sort of liberation theology whereby the oppressed rise up against their oppressors. May also imply karmic views.

3. Anti-Progressive: In the face of "a bed of cold pavement / Waiting for me," progress becomes irrelevant.

4. Absolute Individualism: "I don't care what you think / I don't care what you say / I've got nothing to give you / Why don't you just go away"

5. Denial of Traditional Values: Chavo Pederasty abhors the traditional values of society and adopts an ethical nihilism.

6. Transcendent Non-Being: Chavo Pederastists believe in an ultimate state of non-being, analogous to the Buddhist concept of nirvana. Chavo Pederasty asks of humanity, "What if [we] try some annihilation[?]"

7. Epistemological Nihilism: "Don't you try classification," because reality is ultimately unknowable, and all attempts at logic and analogy fail. The FCoCP rejects traditional methods for the apprehension of truth, instead pointing to human experience as an undifferentiated mass of contradictions, impossible to classify and harmonize.

III. Issues and Controversies

Greg Ginn occupies an contradictory place in FCoCP theology. While being the chief hymnist of the Church, and the one who made L. Ron Reyes known to the world, he is also antagonistic to the forces of Chavo Pederasty. His role seems analogous to that of Loki in Norse mythology, i.e. that he is in sync with the aims of Chavo Pederasty at times, but that he also is a kind of trickster spirit, fundamentally challenging the order of the Church and posing significant theological problems in the cosmogony of organized Chavo Pederasty.
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tepista
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by tepista »

Inder wrote:Mysteries solved --
Clampdown: http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 168&p=9986
That was one of the most important days of my life.
We reach the parts other combos cannot reach
We beach the beachheads other armies cannot beach
We speak the tongues other mouths cannot speak

x3em
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by x3em »

Ah, such a classic: the 'Fine. Fuck you, you are my enemy." post by Mr Beaneater

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 60#p239643

:)

BostonBeaneater
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by BostonBeaneater »

x3em wrote:Ah, such a classic: the 'Fine. Fuck you, you are my enemy." post by Mr Beaneater

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 60#p239643

:)
Thanks! I can write a good love note.
Image

Heston
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Heston »

x3em wrote:Ah, such a classic: the 'Fine. Fuck you, you are my enemy." post by Mr Beaneater

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... 60#p239643

:)
A great post, one of the finest written on here.
There's a tiny, tiny hopeful part of me that says you guys are running a Kaufmanesque long con on the board

Olaf
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Olaf »

Must've been around the time when Sean Flynn started not to get the internet.
Who pfaffed the pfaff? Who got pfaffed tonight?

Wolter
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Wolter »

Olaf wrote:Must've been around the time when Sean Flynn started not to get the internet.
It was around the time I gay-married Beaneater.
”INDER LOCK THE THE KISS THREAD IVE REALISED IM A PRZE IDOOT” - Thomas Jefferson

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Olaf
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Olaf »

And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?

"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
Who pfaffed the pfaff? Who got pfaffed tonight?

eumaas
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by eumaas »

I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Olaf
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Olaf »

He was just pissed because Wolter didn't want to gay-marry him.
Who pfaffed the pfaff? Who got pfaffed tonight?

Inder
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Inder »

Olaf wrote:And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?

"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
Hah!

For a second, I thought it was going to be the ukulele photo boondoggle. Boondoggle.

eumaas
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by eumaas »

Inder wrote:
Olaf wrote:And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?

"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
Hah!

For a second, I thought it was going to be the ukulele photo boondoggle. Boondoggle.
That was you in the photo, right?
I feel that there is a fascistic element, for example, in the Rolling Stones . . .
— Morton Feldman

I've studied the phenomenon of neo-provincialism in self-isolating online communities but this place takes the fucking cake.
— Clashy

Inder
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Inder »

eumaas wrote:
Inder wrote:
Olaf wrote:And lived happily ever after. Anyone remember this?

"Inder is very angry when he shows up to learn they've been discussing his wedding."

http://www.clashcity.com/archives/viewt ... =0&sk=t&sd
Hah!

For a second, I thought it was going to be the ukulele photo boondoggle. Boondoggle.
That was you in the photo, right?

Boondoggle!

Wolter
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Re: If Music Could Archive

Post by Wolter »

Olaf wrote:
He was just pissed because Wolter didn't want to gay-marry him.
Oddly, I'm quite happy with my life. Which I doubt to be true of the erstwhile Clash By Night guitarist.
”INDER LOCK THE THE KISS THREAD IVE REALISED IM A PRZE IDOOT” - Thomas Jefferson

"But the gorilla thinks otherwise!"

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