Heston and Marky's Friday Top 5

[101Walterton]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

[revbob]

1) I Love Boosters - The Coup
2) Stealing People's Mail - Dead Kennedys
3) Shoplifting - the Slits
4) One Piece at a Time - Johnny Cash
5) Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction (I'm with Jenny on this).

Yeah all but the Coup track have been listed. I've got a limited number to pick from and I don't mind stealing other people's picks. Checkout The Coup track below...

[Dr. Medulla]

Here are five more that haven't been named …
New Order - Thieves Like Us
INX - Listen Like Thieves (weirdly, I thought of this song today for no damned good reason)
The Fall - Petty Thief Lout
Frezzepop - Bike Thief
Solex - The Burglars Are Coming!

[Marky Dread]

After Muppet Hi fi admitted nicking a Lou Reed album I thought we'd have a top 5 songs about stealing/getting nicked.
You're such an inspiration.



1. Caught by the Fuzz - Supergrass
2. Razzle in My Pocket - Ian Dury & the Blockheads
3. Shoplifting - The Slits
4. Burglar - The Damned
5. You've Got to Pick-a-Pocket or Two - Ron Moody [Oliver! soundtrack]


Feel free to confess to any crime you have comitted. Anyone admitting to listening to WBTCORNR will bypass prison and go straight to Dr. Meddulla's asylum for the musically insane.

Okay my confession is I once nicked Inder's wallet. When I opened it all that was inside was a piece of paper with a strange code saying I.O.U.I.M.C.T.

Thanks a lot, maaaate. I knew my nefarious and borderline felonious past would pay off handsomely one day.

Yeah, the Oliver Twist song is great, as is the whole soundtrack.

1. Stagger Lee - everybody & their brother, but Dylan's '92 version might be best/most complete.
2. Stay Free - Clash
3. Cops and Robbers - Bo Diddley
4. Easy Money - Springsteen
5. God Knows I'm Good - Bowie

I almost got nicked when I was about 8 or 9 I guess, stealing a tube of fake vampire blood Shop guy came running out after me as I was opening it (not sure how much dumber a kid could be), demanded where I got it, I named a different store, the dude looked at me as though I was too dumb to live (which has basically come true), took the tube and walked back in to store. The end.

That story sounds a real horrow show.

Yeah that was nothing. I ever tell you about the time I was 11 and embezzled (that's what my mom called it) $200 from my paper-route? My dad had to pay it back

While I was no innocent in my teenage years I never brought any trouble home. Unlike my brother Simon who decided it was a great idea to break into Elm Park (The old Reading football stadium) and steal all the crisps/soft drinks/chocolate etc from the club shop. On fucking christmas day none the less of course he got caught and just as the remainder of the family Mum/step dad/ younger brother and my sister are all sitting down to have our Xmas lunch we get a knock knock on the front door from the old bill yep he's been nicked. Then a few weeks later I come home from work (I'm about 18 at this time Simon is 16) and I find my mum in tears now since my old man died when I was a nipper I'm very protective of my mum. So I ask her what's up why the tears? She tells me her friend had just walked through our local park which litterally backs on to our rear garden and she has seen Simon sniffing a huge bag of glue. So Simon comes home and I confront him and tell him how pissed off I am with him for upsetting his mum "Go fuck yourself" comes the reply smack goes my fist under his chin lifting him off the ground and he's sent flying over the kitchen table. He didn't speak to me for three years after that and if he saw me in the street he would cross to the other side of the road. We're all mates nowadays and we laugh about it, Simon works as a care worker and is a decent guy. No one I mean no one upsets my mum!

[Marky Dread]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

I was sure sure sure you would pick The Jam Thick As Thieves.

[Marky Dread]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

I used to pat that kid on the head every day as I walked by to school in the early 70's. You don't see him around much these days. Oh and I'm his big brother so you bullies better watch out!

[Dr. Medulla]

I used to shoplift skin magazines for friends. They'd pay me to do it. Otherwise, my thievery has been limited to the Internet variety. I guess along the same lines, I tried to kill the music industry via home taping back in the day.

[muppet hi fi]

After Muppet Hi fi admitted nicking a Lou Reed album I thought we'd have a top 5 songs about stealing/getting nicked.
You're such an inspiration.



1. Caught by the Fuzz - Supergrass
2. Razzle in My Pocket - Ian Dury & the Blockheads
3. Shoplifting - The Slits
4. Burglar - The Damned
5. You've Got to Pick-a-Pocket or Two - Ron Moody [Oliver! soundtrack]


Feel free to confess to any crime you have comitted. Anyone admitting to listening to WBTCORNR will bypass prison and go straight to Dr. Meddulla's asylum for the musically insane.

Okay my confession is I once nicked Inder's wallet. When I opened it all that was inside was a piece of paper with a strange code saying I.O.U.I.M.C.T.

Thanks a lot, maaaate. I knew my nefarious and borderline felonious past would pay off handsomely one day.

Yeah, the Oliver Twist song is great, as is the whole soundtrack.

1. Stagger Lee - everybody & their brother, but Dylan's '92 version might be best/most complete.
2. Stay Free - Clash
3. Cops and Robbers - Bo Diddley
4. Easy Money - Springsteen
5. God Knows I'm Good - Bowie

I almost got nicked when I was about 8 or 9 I guess, stealing a tube of fake vampire blood Shop guy came running out after me as I was opening it (not sure how much dumber a kid could be), demanded where I got it, I named a different store, the dude looked at me as though I was too dumb to live (which has basically come true), took the tube and walked back in to store. The end.

That story sounds a real horrow show.

Yeah that was nothing. I ever tell you about the time I was 11 and embezzled (that's what my mom called it) $200 from my paper-route? My dad had to pay it back

While I was no innocent in my teenage years I never brought any trouble home. Unlike my brother Simon who decided it was a great idea to break into Elm Park (The old Reading football stadium) and steal all the crisps/soft drinks/chocolate etc from the club shop. On fucking christmas day none the less of course he got caught and just as the remainder of the family Mum/step dad/ younger brother and my sister are all sitting down to have our Xmas lunch we get a knock knock on the front door from the old bill yep he's been nicked. Then a few weeks later I come home from work (I'm about 18 at this time Simon is 16) and I find my mum in tears now since my old man died when I was a nipper I'm very protective of my mum. So I ask her what's up why the tears? She tells me her friend had just walked through our local park which litterally backs on to our rear garden and she has seen Simon sniffing a huge bag of glue. So Simon comes home and I confront him and tell him how pissed off I am with him for upsetting his mum "Go fuck yourself" comes the reply smack goes my fist under his chin lifting him off the ground and he's sent flying over the kitchen table. He didn't speak to me for three years after that and if he saw me in the street he would cross to the other side of the road. We're all mates nowadays and we laugh about it, Simon works as a care worker and is a decent guy. No one I mean no one upsets my mum!

Oh geez! Kids - whatayagonnado?

Yeah so the "embezzling" thing was that the older guy I inherited the paper route from had torn out all the recent receipt stubs from the little book we used to collect (door to door) for the customer's newspapers. Crafty asshole he was. So I'd go to collect and people would say "Nice try. I've already paid for this week." But not everyone: that's why the crafty cunt Joel was so crafty - he'd only collect from some houses, probably to confuse me and obfuscate and cover his tracks. And it worked. Except I wasn't having it. So I just decided not to turn in ANY of the money I collected. I felt justified, as I was humping the load and on weekends it was 80 papers (biggest route in the district) at 3 in the morning in the dead of winter.

Anyway, my manager, Miss Halverson, would drive around looking for me to collect and have a chat. My ace up the sleeve was that I had my dog with me. Not just any dog was Flora: a nearly 200 pound St. Bernard. The few times Ms. Halverson spotted me on my rounds she'd say "Jump in, kiddo". And I'd give a whistle to Flora and she's come bounding through the snow and...she wasn't going to fit in Ms. H's smallish car.

Finally she caught up with me (or, rather, me dad) and I came home one night with Flora, after staying away for hours after seeing Ms. H's car in front of my house. And I got called on the carpet. But before my dad signed the check for the newspaper company, he gave Ms. H an earful - saying he hated their newspaper for being so "liberal" and was cancelling his subscription to it (which I was then, of course, delivering. And dad was dutifully paying me for ). And I don't really recall ever catching too much stick for the whole incident. Maybe that was the least of me folks' worries.

[Marky Dread]

Thanks a lot, maaaate. I knew my nefarious and borderline felonious past would pay off handsomely one day.

Yeah, the Oliver Twist song is great, as is the whole soundtrack.

1. Stagger Lee - everybody & their brother, but Dylan's '92 version might be best/most complete.
2. Stay Free - Clash
3. Cops and Robbers - Bo Diddley
4. Easy Money - Springsteen
5. God Knows I'm Good - Bowie

I almost got nicked when I was about 8 or 9 I guess, stealing a tube of fake vampire blood Shop guy came running out after me as I was opening it (not sure how much dumber a kid could be), demanded where I got it, I named a different store, the dude looked at me as though I was too dumb to live (which has basically come true), took the tube and walked back in to store. The end.

That story sounds a real horrow show.

Yeah that was nothing. I ever tell you about the time I was 11 and embezzled (that's what my mom called it) $200 from my paper-route? My dad had to pay it back

While I was no innocent in my teenage years I never brought any trouble home. Unlike my brother Simon who decided it was a great idea to break into Elm Park (The old Reading football stadium) and steal all the crisps/soft drinks/chocolate etc from the club shop. On fucking christmas day none the less of course he got caught and just as the remainder of the family Mum/step dad/ younger brother and my sister are all sitting down to have our Xmas lunch we get a knock knock on the front door from the old bill yep he's been nicked. Then a few weeks later I come home from work (I'm about 18 at this time Simon is 16) and I find my mum in tears now since my old man died when I was a nipper I'm very protective of my mum. So I ask her what's up why the tears? She tells me her friend had just walked through our local park which litterally backs on to our rear garden and she has seen Simon sniffing a huge bag of glue. So Simon comes home and I confront him and tell him how pissed off I am with him for upsetting his mum "Go fuck yourself" comes the reply smack goes my fist under his chin lifting him off the ground and he's sent flying over the kitchen table. He didn't speak to me for three years after that and if he saw me in the street he would cross to the other side of the road. We're all mates nowadays and we laugh about it, Simon works as a care worker and is a decent guy. No one I mean no one upsets my mum!

Oh geez! Kids - whatayagonnado?

Yeah so the "embezzling" thing was that the older guy I inherited the paper route from had torn out all the recent receipt stubs from the little book we used to collect (door to door) for the customer's newspapers. Crafty asshole he was. So I'd go to collect and people would say "Nice try. I've already paid for this week." But not everyone: that's why the crafty cunt Joel was so crafty - he'd only collect from some houses, probably to confuse me and obfuscate and cover his tracks. And it worked. Except I wasn't having it. So I just decided not to turn in ANY of the money I collected. I felt justified, as I was humping the load and on weekends it was 80 papers (biggest route in the district) at 3 in the morning in the dead of winter.

Anyway, my manager, Miss Halverson, would drive around looking for me to collect and have a chat. My ace up the sleeve was that I had my dog with me. Not just any dog was Flora: a nearly 200 pound St. Bernard. The few times Ms. Halverson spotted me on my rounds she'd say "Jump in, kiddo". And I'd give a whistle to Flora and she's come bounding through the snow and...she wasn't going to fit in Ms. H's smallish car.

Finally she caught up with me (or, rather, me dad) and I came home one night with Flora, after staying away for hours after seeing Ms. H's car in front of my house. And I got called on the carpet. But before my dad signed the check for the newspaper company, he gave Ms. H an earful - saying he hated their newspaper for being so "liberal" and was cancelling his subscription to it (which I was then, of course, delivering. And dad was dutifully paying me for ). And I don't really recall ever catching too much stick for the whole incident. Maybe that was the least of me folks' worries.

Sounds like yer ol' man was A-OK.

[muppet hi fi]

That story sounds a real horrow show.

Yeah that was nothing. I ever tell you about the time I was 11 and embezzled (that's what my mom called it) $200 from my paper-route? My dad had to pay it back

While I was no innocent in my teenage years I never brought any trouble home. Unlike my brother Simon who decided it was a great idea to break into Elm Park (The old Reading football stadium) and steal all the crisps/soft drinks/chocolate etc from the club shop. On fucking christmas day none the less of course he got caught and just as the remainder of the family Mum/step dad/ younger brother and my sister are all sitting down to have our Xmas lunch we get a knock knock on the front door from the old bill yep he's been nicked. Then a few weeks later I come home from work (I'm about 18 at this time Simon is 16) and I find my mum in tears now since my old man died when I was a nipper I'm very protective of my mum. So I ask her what's up why the tears? She tells me her friend had just walked through our local park which litterally backs on to our rear garden and she has seen Simon sniffing a huge bag of glue. So Simon comes home and I confront him and tell him how pissed off I am with him for upsetting his mum "Go fuck yourself" comes the reply smack goes my fist under his chin lifting him off the ground and he's sent flying over the kitchen table. He didn't speak to me for three years after that and if he saw me in the street he would cross to the other side of the road. We're all mates nowadays and we laugh about it, Simon works as a care worker and is a decent guy. No one I mean no one upsets my mum!

Oh geez! Kids - whatayagonnado?

Yeah so the "embezzling" thing was that the older guy I inherited the paper route from had torn out all the recent receipt stubs from the little book we used to collect (door to door) for the customer's newspapers. Crafty asshole he was. So I'd go to collect and people would say "Nice try. I've already paid for this week." But not everyone: that's why the crafty cunt Joel was so crafty - he'd only collect from some houses, probably to confuse me and obfuscate and cover his tracks. And it worked. Except I wasn't having it. So I just decided not to turn in ANY of the money I collected. I felt justified, as I was humping the load and on weekends it was 80 papers (biggest route in the district) at 3 in the morning in the dead of winter.

Anyway, my manager, Miss Halverson, would drive around looking for me to collect and have a chat. My ace up the sleeve was that I had my dog with me. Not just any dog was Flora: a nearly 200 pound St. Bernard. The few times Ms. Halverson spotted me on my rounds she'd say "Jump in, kiddo". And I'd give a whistle to Flora and she's come bounding through the snow and...she wasn't going to fit in Ms. H's smallish car.

Finally she caught up with me (or, rather, me dad) and I came home one night with Flora, after staying away for hours after seeing Ms. H's car in front of my house. And I got called on the carpet. But before my dad signed the check for the newspaper company, he gave Ms. H an earful - saying he hated their newspaper for being so "liberal" and was cancelling his subscription to it (which I was then, of course, delivering. And dad was dutifully paying me for ). And I don't really recall ever catching too much stick for the whole incident. Maybe that was the least of me folks' worries.

Sounds like yer ol' man was A-OK.

Oh he was. But then with eight brats (i was second to youngest) and me mum who was no walk in the park, maybe he thought (as a lawyer and former decorated combat infantry veteran who had the noteworthy pleasure of having to fight the Wermacht at close quarters) "Eh, what's a little embezzlement. Could be worse."

[muppet hi fi]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

The fuck? You'd best say you were under the age of, I don't know, eight. Maybe six. Not cool, Wally. Stealing's one thing, and understandable. Bullying those who can't possibly defend themselves is another world.
(pissed me off reading this, as you know I love you mate).

[101Walterton]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

The fuck. You'd best say you were under the age of, I don't know, eight. Maybe six. Not cool, Wally. Stealing's one thing, and understandable. Bullying those who can't possibly defend themselves is another world.
(pissed me off reading this, as you know I love you mate).

I was 10 or 11 and I know we shouldn't have done it, we both knew better, but couple of kicks to the head and the money flew everywhere!!!

[muppet hi fi]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

The fuck. You'd best say you were under the age of, I don't know, eight. Maybe six. Not cool, Wally. Stealing's one thing, and understandable. Bullying those who can't possibly defend themselves is another world.
(pissed me off reading this, as you know I love you mate).

I was 10 or 11 and I know we shouldn't have done it, we both knew better, but couple of kicks to the head and the money flew everywhere!!!

Hoping you're taking the piss just to get a rise outta me. Cuz otherwise I could share a couple anecdotes about how we dealt with bullys in South Minneapolis that didn't (but legally should have) involve Old Bill.

[101Walterton]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

The fuck. You'd best say you were under the age of, I don't know, eight. Maybe six. Not cool, Wally. Stealing's one thing, and understandable. Bullying those who can't possibly defend themselves is another world.
(pissed me off reading this, as you know I love you mate).

I was 10 or 11 and I know we shouldn't have done it, we both knew better, but couple of kicks to the head and the money flew everywhere!!!

Hoping you're taking the piss just to get a rise outta me. Cuz otherwise I could share a couple anecdotes about how we dealt with bullys in South Minneapolis that didn't (but legally should have) involve Old Bill.

Muppet check out Marky's post he has a photo of the victim.

[101Walterton]

Deceives The Eye - Madness
Stay Free - The Clash
The Limits We Set - The Beat
The Great Rock and Roll Swindle - the Pistols (better than No One Is Innocent)
Razzle In My Pocket - Blockheads

The only crime I feel guilty about was when my cousin and I robbed a crippled kid outside the newsagents and stole all his money to buy football cards. He had those calipers on his legs and was holding a little collection box, he was no match for our Bruce Lee kicks.

I used to pat that kid on the head every day as I walked by to school in the early 70's. You don't see him around much these days. Oh and I'm his big brother so you bullies better watch out!